Heart no Kuni no Naruto
by Sakura aka L-sama no Miko
Summary: A retelling of the popular game/manga Heart no Kuni no Alice with the Naru gang as the cast. Expect major OOCness!
1. Chapter 1

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

I don't own HnK. If I did, then a certain pair of twins would get rid of a certain rhyming stalker wabbit and a certain yummy as sin Hatter would be able to have his adorable little Alice!

It was a pleasant and sunny Sunday afternoon. A blond boy lay peacefully slumbering under the humungous oak while his older sister sat nearby reading a book.

"..to?" she called softly, causing the blond to stir a bit. "Naruto?" she tried again. The boy rolled over, but still did not wake. "Naruto!"

The boy opened his eyes sleepily then yawned as he stretched. "Hey sis, what time is it?" he asked finally fully awake, "Man my head hurts!"

The older blond giggled. "That's what you get for sleeping outside, silly little brother." Naruto pouted, not liking being called silly, "So, what was it you were dreaming about? You were mumbling quite a bit there."

"Ah… yeah," he said sheepishly, "It was pretty weird. Something about a game and rules or something."

"A game huh? Sounds like you were having fun then."

Naruto didn't reply, instead he chose to stare at the older girl. He couldn't help but feel a teeny bit jealous of her. Ino had pale blond hair that seemed to draw more attention than his own sunshine colored locks. It went well with her pale skin and light blue eyes, though she always kept one hidden behind long bangs that covered half her lovely face. He admired the girl's purple outfit, how it showed off all the right parts while not being too slutty. He just felt too ugly and silly in his orange jumpsuit.

_'Man, why can't I be like her,'_ he mused, _'If I wore something like that, I'd look stupid or worse. Why is it the only color I look good in is orange? It's not fair! Ino-nee-chan's really classy too. Not like me at all. There's no way she'd just flop down somewhere and fall asleep like I always do. I bet she's got all the guys in the world falling for her too.' _ A faint pain twanged in the boy's heart as the thought of his former love leapt into his mind. He quickly chased it from his mind, not wishing to dwell on it any further.

"So sis, whatcha reading?" he asked. "Another of your psycho books?"

"That's psychology not 'psycho'! And maybe it is," she replied giving a mischievous smile, "It's both a fairy tale and a novel."

"Huh?"

"It's about a girl who chases a rabbit and gets lost in a strange world. Once she gets there…"

"Yeah, yeah so, it any good? What's the end?"

"You're such a child Naruto!" Ino chided good-naturedly. "Well, in the end, the queen of that world tries to put the girl on trial and she tries to escape, then wakes up."

"And?" Naruto pressed, hanging on his sister's every word.

"And that's it."

"Oh c'mon, she just wakes up? What kinda stupid book is that?"

"Well, I think it's a very good book!" Ino huffed, "So Naru, how 'bout a game?"

"Wha?"

"Well, you did say you were dreaming of one, so how about a challenge? We could play a couple card games."

Naruto suddenly felt chills run down his spine, a flash of his dream crossed his mind. _'I have to play cards,'_ he had said in his dream. Dismissing the chill as only a figment from his dream, the blond said, "Sure, bring it on sis!" _'Because it's one of the rules.'_

"Eh? What was that?" Ino queried.

"Huh?" her brother said, not realizing he'd said that last bit out loud.

"Honestly, Naru. You're still half asleep aren't you?" Ino let out a small laugh at her sibling's antics. "I'm going to go get the cards," she said after getting up, "Now don't you fall asleep on me again, 'k?" With that, the older blonde headed back to the house.

Naruto let out another yawn. "Oh man, I can't be getting sleepy again. I just woke up for crying out loud! But again, it's a nice day. A short nap can't hurt, right? It'll take a while for sis to get back anyway."

The blond flopped back down under the tree and almost immediately fell asleep. A short while later, Naruto blinked his groggy eyes sensing someone was near. Sapphire gems reluctantly opened to see a silver furred rabbit gazing at him several feet away amongst the forest underbrush.

_'Is that rabbit wearing clothes?' _he wondered as his eyes focused more clearly on the strange animal. The rabbit was dressed in a red plaid jacket and white dress slacks. What was truly odd about the animal was that half its face was covered in a mask and a black headband covered one eye.

Naruto continued to stare as the rabbit started walking towards him on its hind legs. "Please tell me I'm dreaming again," he muttered. "That's right, I'm dreaming."

"You know," the rabbit drawled impatiently, "This is where you're supposed to chase me." Naruto quickly shut his eyes and rolled onto his other side.

"It's just a dream," he kept muttering, sure that if he'd ignore it, the freaky creature would go away.

"Ma, ma you're useless," the rabbit said, "You're supposed to chase the White Rabbit not the other way around." The blond suddenly found himself slung over someone's shoulder. "I hope you're not going to scream, I've got sensitive ears."

Of course that was exactly Naruto did. "What the heck? Put me down! What the hell's going on?"

"Such language," chided the person holding onto him, wincing at the volume of the boy's voice. It was then that Naruto noticed that there was a silver furred rabbit tail sticking out of the man's pants. Lifting his head slightly, he saw two rabbit ears sticking out of the mop of silver hair on his captor's head. "Well, shall we go?" the man asked, standing before an enormous hole.

"Hey, how the heck did that get there?" Naruto exclaimed. He was dead sure they didn't have any holes in the orchards behind their house.

His captor only smiled slyly then leapt into the chasm, a very frightened Naruto tucked tightly in his arms. "I don't wanna die!" the blond screamed when he felt the arms release him.

"Don't you like falling?" the strange rabbit man asked, after what seemed like hours. Naruto opened his eyes and cerulean pools widened in shock as his captor continued to smile, as if they weren't currently plummeting to their deaths. "I'm rather fond of falling, especially when it's with you." He let closer to the shorter blond, causing him to 'eep' nervously, "I'm having so much fun, I don't want for this to end, but it seems we're almost there."

Naruto could see the ground and it was rushing up to meet them pretty fast. "I'm gonna die!" he screamed and quickly shut his eyes, not wanting to witness his rather messy demise. When no pain or whatever it was that happened when you died came, the boy cautiously opened his eyes to find himself sitting on the ground of some strange tower like structure. "W-Where am I?"

"Why Wonderland of course," the rabbit man chirped.

"Wonder… land?"

"Yep. Welcome to Wonderland, Naru-chan."

"Never heard of it," the blond said glaring at the taller man. "And how the heck do you know my name?"

"Why of course I know your name. How could I not know the name of the one I love?"

_'Ok, now I'm really freaked here,'_ the boy told himself, _'This guy's not only a stalker, but a freaky perv with a rabbit fetish.' "_TAKE ME HOME RIGHT NOW!" he demanded.

"Sorry can't do that. Now, I'd like you to drink this please," the rabbit man said, holding up a crystal vial with a heart shaped stopper.

"Are you nuts? There's no way in hell I'm gonna drink anything from some freaky bottle or whatever that is!"

"I see. That's going to be problematic."

"D-Don't you come near me!" Naruto stuttered, frozen in fear as his perverted captor stalked closer. "I-I'm not joking! Y-You'd better stay away! I'm not taking anything from some creepy guy I don't know! Believe it!"

"Does that mean you want to know my name?" the man queried, his face mere inches away from the blond's. "Wonderful! Since you want to know more about me, that means you must love me back."

"You're off your rocker!" Naruto shot back, "There's no way in hell I'd ever like a pervy guy like you! Besides, I-I like girls!"

"Now Naru-chan, you've gone and hurt me," the man said pouting, "But the game wouldn't be as fun if you did make this easy." The rabbit man pulled the stopper out of the vial.

_'Game? Why does everyone mention games?' _the blond said. _'I must warn you...' _someone from his dream had said, _'All games have rules. Once you start to play, you must abide by those rules.'_

The rabbit man slipped down his mask and pressed the vial to his lips. Once the pale crimson liquid slid into his mouth he turned to the stunned boy. He grabbed Naruto's chin and forcibly pressed their lips together. The blond squeaked in shock, giving the taller man the chance to pass the liquid into Naruto's mouth.

_'Ack! H-He's making me drink that stuff!'_ the boy silently cried, being forced to swallow or else he'd choke on the strange liquid.

"You really are useless, Naru-chan," the silver haired man beamed, "so I had to make things a bit easier for you."

"G-Get the hell offa me!" the boy yelled pushing the rabbit man away.

"Now that you've drunk the 'medicine of the heart', you'll have to play the game," the taller man said, still beaming as he rose to his feet and started to leave. "Oh yes, my name is Kakashi. Kakashi Hatake. Now that the game's begun, I'll be seeing you again, Naru-chan."

"T-T-That perverted bastard!" the blond sputtered, "He kissed me! That was the worst kiss EVER! Ya hear me you pervy rabbit guy!" The irate boy stood up, "What the heck was it that he made me drink anyway?" he wondered, picking up the discarded vial. "Grrr! I'm gonna find that bastard and slug 'im real good!"

About fifteen minutes later, Naruto paused his running. Panting, he leaned his hands on his thighs, catching his breath. "Geez, just where is that pervy rabbit? I'd better be going the right way 'cause there's no way I'm going back there." Once his breathing slowed, the boy looked around the forest. "Hey! That looks like a mansion or something!" he said, spotting the roof of a large building off in the distance. "I'm gonna check it out. If he's not there, I'm sure whoever is, knows that rabid rabbit rapist!"

It was another ten minutes when Naruto arrived at the mansion's gate. "Wow! That's one impressive gate," the blond remarked as he gazed at the enormous wrought iron gate. "So where're the guards, a big gate like this means it's got guards right?" Seeing that no one was around at the moment, he timidly placed a hand on one of metal gates. "Well, if no one's guarding it, I guess that means it's ok to…"

"You've got business here, nii-chan?" a voice piped from behind him.

"Ah… yeah," Naruto answered, slightly startled by the sudden appearance of the guard and turning around, "I'd like to know…" He froze. Two boys, apparently younger than him stood before him. They appeared to be twins, one dressed in a red and black uniform while the other was dressed in an orange and black one, an orange mask with a black spiral hung lopsidedly on one side of the boy's head. But that wasn't what made the taller blond freeze. Both twins were pointing wicked looking halberds at him and they looked **very** sharp.

"We're the gatekeepers," said the red twin.

"We're supposed to beat bad guys when they try to get in," the orange one finished. "You look like a good boy."

"But we're not supposed to take things for face value," the red clad boy added.

"Y-You've got it all wrong! I'm not…"

"It'll be ok," interrupted the red twin, "It won't hurt for long, right Tobi-nii?"

"Yep! We're gonna be good boys and let you die quickly. C'mon nii-chan!"

"Oi, what are you two up to now, un?" came another voice.

Naruto looked behind the twins and saw another rabbit man coming over. He saw that this new comer was dressed in a forest green military type jacket, a tattered purple plaid cape was draped over his shoulders. _'Is he the owner? Argh! Not another pervy jerk with a rabbit fetish!'_

"You kids shouldn't be so hasty," the man quipped, "I think the little guy's a guest, un."

"Tobi's a good boy!" the orange twin "Tobi doesn't want his pay cut!"

"Get out of our way you stupid, chickie rabbit!" Tobi's red clad twin griped.

"You're one to talk kid. You two were playing hooky just a minute ago weren't you, hmm? By the way kid," the blond rabbit man said, turning his attention to Naruto. "Which are ya, a guest or an enemy, hmm?"

"I'm…"

"Doesn't matter really," the rabbit man interrupted pulling out an ornate gun, "You boys let me have this one, I've been itching for a reason to test this baby out, un." He then shoved the gun against Naruto's throat.

_'What is with this place?' _the terrified blond cried, _'Not only are they nutso and armed to the teeth, but trigger happy too!'_

"That's enough. How many times must I tell you," Naruto stiffened as he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, "don't kill on my land without my permission."

"Itachi!" the rabbit man called, immediately lowering his weapon.

_'Whew! I'm saved.' _"T-Thanks," Naruto said, relief washing over his face.

"You're welcome, cutie," his rescuer replied.

Naruto then whirled to see who had saved his life only to be given the shock of a lifetime. Standing before him was a man dressed in an old fashioned white and black suit. A black top hat adorned with blood red roses stood proudly on his head. But what unnerved the blond most was that this man looked just like the one who'd broken his heart not so long ago. There was the same raven black hair – though this man's was much longer and not spiked up in the back, the same dark eyes that always seemed to trap him every time he looked into them, and the same smile. The boy just couldn't take it anymore he shoved the man away and made a mad dash back into the woods.

"Yeesh, what a rude brat, un," the rabbit man huffed, "He totally blew ya off, Itachi."

"That boy was no doubt an outsider, Deidara," the elegantly dressed man said, ignoring his friend's insult.

"An outsider, hmm? Ya serious?"

"Hn. Curious."

Meanwhile, Naruto had once again paused to catch his breath. "C'mon Naru, calm down. It's not _him_! You're probably still dreaming so it can't be _him_ right?" He leaned against a wall, finally noticing his surroundings. "Great, I'm right back where I started. Wha? It's night time already?" Looking up, he indeed saw that the sky was black and stars were twinkling above. "There's no way I could've run all day! I mean it was light just a minute ago!"

He started to walk around in search for a play to stay for the night "No telling what kinda crazies come out at night around here," he muttered to himself. He then found himself back at the tower top where he had landed earlier that afternoon. "Great there's one now," he whispered upon spying the lone figure standing there.

"Who's there?" the figure snapped whirling around to reveal a redheaded teen in old fashioned tailored midnight blue clothing.

"Um… hi?" Naruto squeaked.

"Get out!" the older boy spat.

"Sorry for barging in your home, but I was kidnapped by some guy named Kakashi and…"

"I don't care, leave!" The taller boy harshly grabbed the blond's arm and made to drag him out.

"Look, whoever you are," Naruto started, "It's not like I wanna be here either. Some pervy rabbit grabbed me and dumped me down a hole. As if that weren't bad enough, he made me drink some crazy ass medicine and then I almost get shot at…"

"Medicine?" the teen shouted.

"Yeah, see?" the blond shoved the now empty vial at him.

"Damn it all to hell!" cursed the redhead. "I guess you're an outsider then," he said after sighing.

"Outsider?"

"This Kakashi you mentioned, did you mean Kakashi Hatake?"

"Yep, that's the pervert!"

"Damn him. He must have smuggled you in here without my permission. Guess I'll have to explain everything since you had to go and drink that. Come."

Seeing as that he had nothing better to do and he did want some answers anyway, Naruto followed the taller redhead into the tower and down a few floors to a modestly furnished room. Once they were seated at the small table, the older teen began.

"My name is Sasori Akasuna. I am the master of this tower. You are obviously an outsider, therefore not a resident of Wonderland. Most outsiders come here of their own free will."

"But I didn't!" huffed the blond, "There's no way I'd want to come to such a wacked out…"

"So you've told me. From what you told me on the way down, you're lucky to escape from the Hatter territory with your head intact Naruto. Deidara, and the bloody twins, Tobi and Obito are extremely dangerous people to come across."

"Yeah, about that, some guy named Itachi came and stopped them."

"Itachi Uchiha stopped them?" Sasori asked incredulously. "That's rather odd for the yakuza boss."

"T-That guy was a yakuza boss?" It was Naruto's turn to be shocked.

"The syndicate he's in charge of is called the 'Hatters'," explained Sasori.

"Well, I ran outta there pretty fast after he saved me, tho' he did say something about no killing without permission.

"Like I said, you were lucky. If Uchiha had ok'd it, you would have been killed. It'd be best if you stay away from there from now on, that bunch isn't quite right in the head." Naruto said nothing. "I'll explain the different territories." He then brought out a map and laid it on the table between them. "You are here," he said pointing to the center of the map. "This is called the Clock Tower Plaza." He then pointed to another area. "This is Hatter territory where you were earlier and Heart Castle is over here. This part of Wonderland is under control of the Queen of Hearts. This is the Wonderland Amusement park run by a man named Lee. Where we are right now is the only neutral area since the other three territories are at war with each other at the moment."

_'I can understand why the yakuza and the queen would be at war, but why a theme park?' _Naruto wondered._ 'This has got to be the freakiest place EVER!'_

"Such a power struggle can go on for a very long time and is a rather pointless game. It has nothing to do with you outsiders so do be careful and not get involved."

"So is that why everyone's got weapons, 'cause of this war stuff?"

"Mostly, but the rest is for later," the redhead replied cryptically.

"Look, um thanks for explaining stuff, but there's no way I wanna get involved! I just wanna get home so tell me how to get the heck outta here already!"

"You won't be able to leave by yourself," the taller teen said bitterly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"'You can't go home alone,' that's one of the rules of the game."

"Again with this freaky game stuff! You and Kakashi keep saying that!" Just then a light from the window startled the blood. He went over to look out to see that the sky was once again light. "W-W-What the heck? It was night time a sec ago and now the sun's setting again!"

"That's how this world is, so just calm down," snapped Sasori. "Look, Wonderland is a world in a dream. I don't care if you believe it or not, but know this, the dream will never end if you don't progress in the game. You could have easily gone home the instant the desire to do so entered your head. But since that idiot Kakashi forced you to drink that medicine, you're now stuck playing the game."

"So how the heck do I get outta here?"

"Look at that vial," Sasori replied.

"Hey! Something's in it," Naruto cried upon inspecting the once empty vessel.

"I thought as much. First Kakashi, then the Hatters and now me. That vial is the key to getting home. The rule is that once that vial is filled again, you'll be able to return to your home, but you can only fill it by interacting with the people of this world."

"Argh! Why didn't that pervy rabbit say so? I'll have this thing filled in no time flat!"

_'I highly doubt that,'_ Sasori muttered to himself.

Meanwhile at Heart Castle…

"Just you wait my little Naru-chan," Kakashi whispered happily as he strode through the rose garden maze. "You and I will be together til the end of time."

"No way!" the blond exclaimed, "That Kakashi guy's the prime minister of that castle place? But he's a perv!"

"That may be so, but he's still prime minister," Sasori replied, not bothering to look up from the clock he was working on.

"That place's gotta be run by a bunch of pervy psychos then. Oh well, at least I know where to find him."

"Thinking of going to see him?"

"Yeah, I still gotta slug 'im good for dragging me into this wacko world." The redhead was about to advise against leaving the Clock Tower, however the plucky blond beat him to it. "I know it's dangerous out there, but there's no way I'm gonna let anyone tell me not to walk around. It's my dream after all, right?"

Sasori shot his head up in surprise at the blond's feisty attitude and sudden acceptance. "Just remember to be careful," he said as he watched Naruto leave his workshop.

"Yeah, yeah I get it," he quipped, "You can get hurt in dreams. Thanks for caring anyway. I'll be back by night, 'k?"

"Whatever," was the redhead's sullen response.

"Well since there's only one way to the castle, I shouldn't get lost, right?" Naruto mused as he leisurely strode through the woods. Suddenly he heard a rustling coming from along the side of the path. The boy froze both curious and wary of the noise. Scant moments later, a boy a few inches taller than him suddenly burst through the brush.

He was dressed in a red and black uniform, a crest with a heart and an 'A' emblazoned on the left breast of the jacket. His short black hair was covered with leaves from crashing through the trees. The stranger's appearance was so sudden that, the blond started to stumble as he attempted to move out of his way. "Easy there," the taller teen said, quickly catching Naruto before he fell. "Sorry for scaring you are you ok?"

"I'm fine," the blond replied. _'What was this guy doin' in the woods?'_

"Oh that's good. May I ask you something? Do you know where the Clock Tower is?"

"Yeah, I just came from there. It's back there," Naruto answered pointing to the tower looming over the trees.

"Oh good. I guess I was closer than I thought."

"So," Naruto began, eyeing the taller boy warily. "You on your way to see Sasori?"

"Oh, you know Sasori?" the other boy asked, "He and I are good friends. Unfortunately, some things happened and I need to stay with him for a while. Oh how rude of me, I'm Sai, a knight of Heart Castle," he said smiling a rather cheesy smile.

"N-Nice to meetcha Sai, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. So you're from the castle huh? Say do ya think you can take me to see Kakashi?"

"I wasn't aware Kakashi-san had friends," Sai said bewilderedly.

"Not exactly," the blond quipped, "I just need to talk to him about something."

"Hmm… well he is at the castle most of the time, but I don't think anyone would let you in if you try to go by yourself."

"Yeah, I guess regular folks like me can't just waltz on into castles."

"I suppose I could escort you," Sai said, eyeing the blond.

"But don't you have to see Sasori?"

"It's no bother, I'm sure I still have sometime before I have to be there."

"Really? Thanks! You're a big help!" Sai smiled his fake smile again and began walking in the opposite direction of the castle. "Um…" Naruto called catching the brunet's attention. "Wasn't the castle in this direction?"

"Hmm…" Sai mused as he glanced around, "Actually it's this way," he stated taking a totally different path than before. "Don't worry Naruto-kun, I'll get us there in no time."

_'I don't know about this guy,'_ the blond thought. Still, what choice did he have? He followed the taller teen off into the woods. _'Say isn't this the way to…'_

"Oh jeez! Not that crazy Hatter place!" the blond yelled as they came upon a familiar gate.

"My this is odd," Sai said, still smiling, "Still I'm certain we can reach the castle if we cut through here. Coming Naruto-kun?" The directionally challenged Knight recklessly started to push the gate open.

"H-Hey! Wait Sai! It's not safe here!"

"What are you doing here again, Sai?" an annoyed Deidara spat, approaching the gate, "Those damn brats must be goofing off again, un."

_'We're doomed, it's that trigger happy Deidara guy!'_ moaned Naruto.

"What's the outsider kid doing with ya, hmm?"

"You didn't tell me you were an outsider, Naruto-kun!" Sai said in shock, "I've never seen one before."

"No hard feelings 'bout before, right kid?" Deidara said almost good-naturedly, "And I'm not gonna shoot ya now. I'm not in the mood 'sides Itachi won't let me, un," he added with a slight pout. "So Sai ya here to settle your score with the boss, hmm?"

"What?" the brunet asked, "Oh. It's just that, we're on our way to the castle," he replied with that cheesy smile of his.

The blond rabbit man smacked his face with his hand. "For the love of…" he muttered, "You've got the direction sense of a blindfolded pig! How many times do we have to tell ya, un? This is our turf, there's nothing past here, but the mansion, un."

"But I'm sure there's a road to the castle…"

"No there isn't! Now clear off!"

"Oh, did I go the wrong way again?" the brunet asked, causing sweatdrops to form around both blonds' heads.

_'Well that explains what he was doing in the woods,'_ Naruto thought dryly.

"I don't believe you, un!" spat the March Hare, "You're so clueless, it's annoying. That cutesy act of yours is really pissing me off, un! I'd love nothing more right now than to shove a bullet into that cotton head of yours right now, un."

"It wasn't my intention to be cutesy," Sai said smiling again. "Still, I am in your debt, Deidara-san. You led me out of here the last time and I don't mind getting lost. It always lets me meet nice people like you."

The blond rabbit man blushed profusely before whipping out his gun and firing at the brunet. With the speed of wind, the Knight of Hearts grabbed Naruto and leapt out of the way, causing the bullet to graze and tear the strap on his shoulder. "That was rather reckless, pal," Sai chided, "You almost hit the outsider."

"Look, _pal_, if you don't wanna get lost ever again, I can fix that," the March Hare snarled, still brandishing the gun, "Don't dodge, un!"

"Naruto-kun," Sai said, his tone suddenly serious, "Get over there in the shade."

The blond gulped loudly at the taller boy's icy tone and quickly obeyed.

"Oi! Eyes over here bubble head, un!" Deidara yelled, a malicious grin on his handsome face, "Dodge this if ya can, un!" He had his gun aimed mere inches away from the brunet's chest. However, before he could even squeeze the trigger, the knight lifted his sword, not bothering to unsheathe it, and forced the rabbit man's arm out of the way. The weapon's hilt wound up pressing against the blond's throat.

"Hmph," spat Deidara, "Just what I'd expect from the Knight of Hearts, un. Guess I'll have to be more careful, hmm?" He then leapt away from the deadly stick of metal and jewels, once again getting ready to shoot.

Sai stood calmly waiting for the first shot to come. When it did, he just as calmly stepped aside. Deidara kept shooting at the teen, getting more and more annoyed each time Sai escaped the equally deadly bits of metal. "Stand still, un!" shouted the March Hare.

_ 'Yikes! Someone's gonna kick the bucket if they keep this up!' _Naruto silently said, while hiding behind one of the trees, _'And it'll probably be me! Believe it!'_

"Looks like someone's causing trouble for the cutie again, I see," a deadly calm voice said, entering the fray. "Don't tell me you've forgotten who makes the rules around here?"

_'I-Itachi Uchiha!'_ Naruto suddenly felt his heart race and his face heat up at the head Hatter's appearance.

"We've been over this before, Deidara," Itachi said with an eerie calm.

"B-B-But… Sai…" sputtered the rabbit man, "Pissed…" The raven haired man eyed his subordinate quizzically, silently demanding him to explain himself or else. "It's all his fault, un!" bellowed Deidara, pointing to a smiling Sai. "He keeps showing up around here, un!"

Itachi let out an exasperated sigh, "Just show him the way off my land, you'll save more bullets that way."

"Already tried that, un! He just keeps coming back!"

"Deidara," the frightening calm was back in the Hatter's voice, "I gave you a job even a half-wit should have no problems completing."

"S-Sorry boss, un."

"I must apologize, Sir Knight," Itachi said with mock politeness, "My underling was rather rude."

"Oh that's alright," chirped the smiling teen, "I'm not at all mad. Besides, Deidara-san's a lousy shot."

"Hn. Even so, you shouldn't be wandering around here," warned Itachi. "Deidara and I will start you on your way. Oh, and as for the cutie outsider, I am truly sorry for always letting you get involved in such troublesome matters." The Hatter yakuza head held out his hand to the trembling blond and smiling, "You can trust me when I say it won't happen again." Naruto fought against the blush creeping back onto his face and timidly placed his hand in the much taller man's, which he then promptly kissed.

"Ya better listen good, un," snapped Deidara, "The castle's that way," he added, pointing in the direction they had come from.

"Really now?" Sai asked, wandering off in yet another completely direction.

"Oi! Come back here you dobe, un!" the March Hare yelled running after him and grabbing him by the collar of his jacket, "Don't ya dare get lost while I'm talking to ya, un!"

"Yeesh, and they say I'm loud," Naruto muttered. The blond snuck a glance at the taller man, finding it hard to tear his eyes away.

"You're staring," Itachi said, giving the blond a sly smile, "Do I have something on my face? I know you were staring at me earlier as well, what a naughty boy you must be."

"N-N-No!" sputtered Naruto, blushing profusely, "I-It's that you remind me of someone I know. A-Anyway, I'm sorry for running off like that before; that was really rude of me. Y-You really had me startled there, tho'."

"And here I was thinking it was because you didn't like me. Of course I should have known after that rather hungry look you just gave me, it wasn't so," Itachi said smirking while cupping the blond's very red cheek with one gloved hand. "This person I remind you of, could it be a love of yours perhaps?"

"N-N-N-No way!" Naruto stammered, hastily shoving the Hatter's arm away. "T-T-That's not it!"

"You don't appear to be lying," Itachi mused, secretly overjoyed at the possibility of snaring the blond for himself. "Interesting. Am I correct in thinking that you are no longer with this person?"

"Um… yeah," the blond answered nervously, "He told me he wanted to be with someone else and…"

"What a loathsome cad."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" huffed the blond.

Itachi raised an elegant eyebrow. "Did you say that because, I'm one of the yakuza?" He let out a wry chuckle. "Ah, but I'm a totally different cad. If it were up to me, I'd never let go of a cutie with such fierce eyes." Naruto's blush quickly covered not only his face, but neck and ears as well, "I'd chop off his legs if he tried to run from me and I would gladly let him cut my heart out and stomp on it if I ever started to stray."

"That's a really creepy joke, ya know," the blond said, chuckling nervously.

"I wasn't joking," Itachi said seriously. He cupped the boy's cheek again and kissed his forehead, "If you were to turn that passion of yours on me, I'd make sure you'd never regret it," he whispered seductively into the boy's ear.

"L-Let me go!" Naruto sputtered, shoving the man away.

"Oh my!" Sai said coming back, smiling that cheesy smile yet again, "It appears the yakuza boss is trying to seduce you Naruto-kun."

"As if, un!" Deidara snapped hitting the much shorter teen on the head. "The kid's not the boss's type at all, un!"

"You sure?" queried Sai, "They looked pretty intense a second ago. It's shame you'll never get anywhere with Naruto-kun, yakuza-san. He's looking for Kakashi-san."

"Kakashi Hatake?" the March Hare wondered in surprise, "Why would anyone wanna look for that guy, hmm?"

"I've got something I wanna say to 'im."

"I see," Itachi said, all business once again, "Then I won't keep you any longer. But I have to warn you, Kakashi Hatake is a very dangerous person. But I am certain that Sir Knight would most probably protect you should anything untoward happen." Sai's dark eyes flashed eerily as the Hatter turned to look at him, the fake cheesy smile on the boy's face never budging for an instant.

"You're almost at the castle, un," Deidara said making sure the directionally challenged knight was able to see the palace roofs peeking above the trees. "Don't even think of leaving this path, ya got it, hmm?" Sai said nothing, just continued to smile. "Say kid," the rabbit man said turning to Naruto, "Your name's Naruto, right? Well, why don't ya come back to our place next time, hmm. Boss says ya can come whenever you want, un."

"Yes, and should you do so, I will give you a proper welcome. We aren't always so rude toward our guests," Itachi added in agreement, "I hope you don't keep me waiting too long, cutie." With that, the yakuza boss turned and left before anyone else from the castle spotted him, his trigger happy subordinate following him through the trees.

A few minutes later, Sai led the shorter blond through the castle gates and past the enormous and intricately carved palace doors. "Okaeri-nasai (welcome home), Sai-dono," a pair of faceless ladies in red and black maid outfits chorused and bowed as they passed by. "And welcome to you, Sir Guest."

"Good to see you too ladies," the brunet replied, ignoring Naruto's perplexed staring at the maids. "Let's see," he mused, steering the boy away from the help, "Kakashi-san's usually with her majesty so I guess we should start with the receiving room."

After endless wandering and constantly stopping for directions, the two finally made to the receiving room. Naruto gawked at the sight before him. Within the huge room, a elegantly carved and rather plush throne chair stood solemnly in the center of a mezzanine flanked by two curved staircases with wrought iron railings. Near the stairs were two faceless soldiers holding pikes with heart shaped points.

Upon the throne sat a pink haired girl dressed in an elaborate gown of black and red with hearts embroidered into the hems. A miniature crown said off to the side of her head. Standing off to one side and slightly behind the throne was a silver haired rabbit man.

"Ah-ha!" crowed the blond, "Finally found you, ya pervy rabbit guy!"

"Naru-chan!" cried Kakashi, leaping over the mezzanine railing and immediately glomping the boy. "I knew you'd come to me! And so quickly too! I knew you wanted to be near me!"

"H-H-Hey! Wait just a sec!" Naruto shouted, said shoving at the overly amorous White Rabbit only to succeed in knocking both of them over. "I don't wanna be anywhere near you, you rapist! I just wanted…"

"You there," the pink haired girl said in a commanding and imperious tone, "Boy, are you an outsider? Come here at once."

"Who're you?" Naruto asked.

"We," the girl said eyeing the blond appraisingly, "are the Queen of Hearts. Our name is Sakura."

~TBC~

Sakura: Whoo-hoo! Things are off to a rather interesting start, don't you think?

Naruto: You're really sick you know that lady? That's what I think, believe it! I still can't get the taste of pervy sensei outta my mouth!

Ita: I can help with that Naru-chan.

Sakura: Yeesh Uchiha! Get a room! Anyhoo, lemme know whatcha think ppl! Hope you had as much fun reading this as much as I had writing it. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 2

Naruto sat stiffly, wondering how the heck he'd wound up having tea with royalty in the middle of an enormous hedge maze. One moment he was standing before the monarch of one quarter of Wonderland and the next he was sitting at a large table with expensive dishes. "The evening is Our favorite time of day," Queen Sakura said, a very expensive looking porcelain cup held elegantly in her delicate looking hands, "We are happy you have agreed to join Us for tea, boy who is called Naruto."

"Psst," Sai whispered, from behind the blond, "I'm going to head over to Sasori's now, I just couldn't leave without saying goodbye first."

"Back away from my Naru-chan," Kakashi ordered, drawing a pistol and aiming it at the knight. "It's not your job to hang around him like that."

Sai just smiled his usual cheesy smile. Apparently having a pistol shoved in his face was something that wouldn't faze the teen that easily. "You're so scary, Kakashi-san," he said with that eerie cheerfulness he always seemed to have. "I think it'd be best if I leave now. I'll see you around Naruto-kun," he said with a wave as he left the impromptu tea party.

"That boy is always so rude," huffed Kakashi.

"Must you always be so noisy, Hatake," the queen warned, annoyance coloring her voice, "Or do you not value your head?" The White Rabbit blanched and immediately sat back down, the pistol nowhere to be seen. "Though I must say," Queen Sakura continued, turning to the rather nervous boy. "We certainly understand how much Hatake loves you. It is also a possibility that We could also love you as well."

"Y-Your majesty!" yelled the silver haired rabbit man, jumping out of his seat once again, "You can't love him! I'm more than able to love him enough!"

"Sit down and be quiet, Hatake!" the pink haired queen commanded before taking another elegant sip of her tea, "Do not make Us warn you again. We are incapable of stopping such a thing anyway. You know full well that those of this world will always have feelings for outsiders."

_'Ok,'_ the boy muttered to himself, _'it's getting creepy again. Still, is it because I'm dreaming this freaky stuff 'cause I want everyone back home to love me?'_

"As an outsider, you will eventually go home one day, Naruto-kun. Until that day comes, We grant you permission to live at Our castle."

"Gee…" the blond replied, blushing and scratching the back of his head, "That's um… really nice of ya, Queen Sakura, but I've already got a place at the Clock Tower."

"The Tower?" Kakashi asked, spitting his tea, "The home of Sasori Akasuna?"

"Oh do stop such foolishness Hatake, it is pretty obvious he's made his choice."

"B-B-But! Can't you move here?" pleaded the overly amorous rabbit man.

"Pft, yeah right! As if I'd do that, you pervy rabbit!"

"There's no need to bully the boy into staying," Queen Sakura said, glaring icily at her Prime Minister, "Naruto-kun is free to visit the castle whenever wants."

"I must disagree, your majesty! Naru-chan MUST live here!"

"THAT IS ENOUGH, HATAKE!" bellowed the queen, almost shattering the table along with her cup as she slammed it down against the table. The rabbit man went pale again and his ears flattened against his skull in terror.

"Oh, hey it's night again," Naruto noted, desperately trying to defuse the currently intense situation before any of them lost their lives.

"So it is," the Queen of Hearts agreed, pouting at the now dark sky, "It appears that our pleasant moment has ended. There should be no other time than evening."

"That reminds me!" Naruto started, "It's been bugging me, and I've been meaning to ask. Is the time always like this here?"

"Yes," replied the pink haired girl, "There are no rules as to when the time changes so none can tell what the next period will be." She then got a serious and pensive look in her lovely face, "Though it is possible for Us to change it at will since We are 'one with a role to play'. However, the rule is that it must never be changed without just cause."

_'"One with a role to play",'_ pondered Naruto, taking one last sip of the now cooling tea, _'Wonder what she means by that.'_

"Enough talk," Queen Sakura said, gracefully rising from her heart embroidered chair, "It is now nighttime, and sadly We are no longer in the mood for a pleasant cup of tea."

"Uh… yeah," said Naruto, "I guess I'd better be heading back to Sasori too. Thanks for the tea," He bowed to the queen as he had been taught to do by his parents and found himself stumbling as he turned to leave. _'Yeesh,' _he muttered, _'I thought you didn't get tired in dreams. Well, I hadn't really slept since I got here so maybe you can.'_

"Nonsense," the pink haired girl interjected, seeing the boy's apparently tiredness, "you will be asleep before you even reached Akasuna's. We insist you stay here at the castle and rest, even if it is just for a little while."

"Yeah, maybe I should. Thanks again!"

Queen Sakura smiled, inwardly pleased that the cute boy agreed so easily. "Hatake will show you to the guest wing."

The White Rabbit shot up and came to attention. "At once, your majesty!"

"Easy there, Naru-chan!" Kakashi said catching the boy before he fell again, "You'd better take my arm."

"Nuh-uh! I don't need _**your**_help and quit touching me!" the blond snapped, yanking his arm away when the silver haired rabbit man made to grab it.

Kakashi looked hurt at the boy's rejection, but abided by Naruto's wishes for now. "This will be your room," he said stopping at a door a few moments later. "Though, I'd feel much better if you were in mine."

"In your dreams, pervy rabbit!" bellowed Naruto, "All you've done since I've got to this wacked out world, is molest me! There is no way in Hell I'm ever goin' near your room!"

"You really should watch your language, Naru-chan," scolded the taller man, "All I want from you is to love me as well. I would never force myself on you, my dearest Naru-chan."

_'Ch! You did force yourself on me! Remember that kiss? Teme!'_

"I'm NEVER gonna love ya," the shorter boy bellowed in defiance, "So just forget about it! Good night!" He then shoved the door open and stormed into the room.

"Fine," Kakashi said sternly, causing the boy to pause in shutting the door, "Even if you'll never love me as you say, this is still the world you wished for Naru-chan." He then went back to the smiling rabbit he was while leading his love down the halls, "It's enough for me as long as you're here in Wonderland. Sweet dreams, my Naru-chan." He then turned and went back down the hall.

Naruto stood there puzzled for a few moments then shut the door and lay down on the ultra soft bed. _'Just what the heck did Kakashi mean by that?'_ he wondered, suddenly unable to sleep, _'This is the world you wished for,'_ Kakashi's words ran over and over through the blond's head. _'Yeah, right as if I'd _ever_ wish for a place like this!'_

Naruto found himself in the middle of a barren and grayish landscape. "What the?" he sputtered. "Don't tell me I'm dreaming again! C'mon wasn't I already in a wacked out dream?"

"You could say that," a voice answered.

The blond 'eeped' in surprise. "W-Who's there?" he demanded, quivering.

"Neji Hyuuga," the voice replied again. Naruto whirled and looked up at the source of the voice. Floating in the sky was a boy with long chocolate hair, dressed in a military style outfit of dark gray with gold trimming. "I am a dream demon, the incarnation of all bad dreams, such is my Fate."

'_Oh great another weirdo,' _quipped Naruto, _'This dream's just full of 'em!'_

"A 'dream' you say?" Neji said, giving the slightly shorter boy a cryptic smile and reading his mind. "I suppose you would think of it that way."

"Hey you!" Naruto yelled, not liking being talked down to, he was sixteen after all. "What do you mean by that? Sasori said something like that too."

"Hmph," the dream demon huffed, crossing his arms, "Calm down will you? It's just a dream."

'_It's just a dream,'_ those were the words the mysterious voice had said in the dream before coming to Wonderland. "I-It's you! You're the one who's been doing this to me, making me dream all this crazy stuff!"

"Don't go blaming me for this. I just connected your world to ours," Neji snapped, "If you must blame someone, blame Kakashi Hatake. He did beg me to do it after all. And besides," he added with a rather smug smile, "This is want you wanted, a world where _**you're**_ wanted." Naruto could only stare at the dream demon as he glided closer to him. "Everyone here is going to fall for you," he whispered into the blond's ear, his warm breath tickling the sensitive lobe, "And that includes me. Aishiteru, Naruto."

Naruto let out a caustic laugh. "So that's it huh?" he spat bitterly, "I'm some lonely little boy who feels unloved and wants everyone to love him so I'm dreaming up some crazy place where they do. Ha! How pathetic can I get? Even my subconscious is as wacked out as this world!"

"Oh please," quipped Neji, "Don't start getting all high and mighty, my dear. You didn't create Wonderland. It's always been here."

"Uh-huh! Right! There's no way this place didn't come out of my head! 'Sides there's no one who even really cares about me anyway."

"You're mistaken, Naruto dear. There are plenty of people who care for you. Very much. Sure they may not love you much right away, but if you'd let them get to see the real you they'll come to love you more and more. And only you."

"You're delusional! What are you supposed to be the devil or something?"

"I've already told you," the brunet replied, "I'm a dream demon. I would think that'd be scarier than any devil."

"Yeah right, people can always wake up from dreams. And they're not always scary as heck!"

The dream demon sighed and smiled sadly at the blond before pointing behind Naruto. "What would you think is beyond a dream, Naruto dear?" he asked. The blond turned and saw only more of the barren landscape.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Naruto parried, blinking as he stared into the sun, "There's nothing, dreams just end!"

"So you do have some intelligence after all," Neji said, the sad smile on his face once more, "That's why dreams are scary, my dear. They end when you wake up and then you're only left with reality. You'll come to understand this someday, Naruto dear." The dream demon then faded away, but not before placing a chaste kiss on the blond's cheek.

Naruto shot up, placing a hand on his cheek. He could still feel it tingling from where the dream demon's soft lips had pressed against it. "Great, just great," he muttered to himself, "I'm still trapped in this nuthouse!"

"Please reconsider, Naru-chan!" begged a frantic Kakashi as he chased him through the hedge maze. "You don't have to leave right now; you just got out of bed."

"Look, I thought I told ya to back off ya pervy rabbit! I'm going back to the Clock Tower and that's that! Believe it! Sasori's probably worried sick about me too!"

"Just ignore him," the silver haired rabbit man said, grabbing hold of the boy's arm, "It's almost as bad as cheating if you go near him."

"C-Cheating?" Naruto let out a barking laugh, "Yeah right. How can I cheat on you if we're not together you crazy rabbit?"

"Pardon us, minister Hatake," a pair of faceless soldiers said, coming up to them, "but her majesty demands your presence in the audience room at once."

The Prime Minister glared at them and pulled out an enormous pocket watch. It glowed briefly and turned into the pistol he had threatened Sai with before. Before Naruto could stop him, the White Rabbit pulled the trigger and shot one of the soldiers. The poor soul was dead before he hit the ground.

"S-Stop!" begged the blond grasping onto the taller man's arm as he made to aim at the other faceless man.

"I never got that message, because the messengers went missing. Is that clear?" The remaining soldier gulped noisily.

"Don't do it!" Naruto screamed, shoving the rabbit man, causing his aim to be off and thus completely missed his target. The blond then stood in front of the soldier, his arms outstretched.

"What do you think you're doing, Naru-chan?" Kakashi demanded, irate that his beloved would purposely put himself in danger. "If I hadn't missed, you'd gotten hurt!"

"So what? That's nothing compared to you killing people!"

"Please sir," the soldier pleaded, still trembling, "there's no reason for you to defend me like this, there are countless others like me so I'll easily be replaced."

Naruto whirled on the faceless man and slapped him. "How can you say stuff like that? You people are nuts!"

"He's being realistic, Naru-chan," Kakashi snarled, still brandishing his pistol, "People like him are just expendable cards, they don't even have names."

"And that makes you sooooooo important that you can just kill like that?"

"Actually, Naru-chan," the White Rabbit said solemnly, "Those who are 'those with roles to play' share the same fate. We can be just as easily replaced if we die."

_'Just what the heck is all this 'those with roles to play' stuff about anyway? What's the big deal?'_

"So you see, my Naru-chan," the taller man continued, "No one here cares much about death. But you, you're not like us. There's no replacement Naru-chan. Now step aside and let me do what I must."

"Not unless you promise not to kill him!" the blond shot, not daring to move.

Kakashi sighed, and the deadly weapon flashed and turned back into a pocket watch. "Looks like I have no choice," he said forlornly, "I'll answer her majesty's summons." He then started to head back to the castle. "Naru-chan," he called over his shoulder, "I may not always see things the way you do, but I still love you, even when you confuse me. I'll take my leave now, my beloved, content to know that you and I share the same world for now."

"Um… thank you, sir," the soldier said bowing deeply once the Prime Minister was out of sight. "I am honored that you would even consider yourself with once such as me."

"You're really a bunch of idiots, you know that?" the blond spat, "I only did what any sane person would have. But, your friend he's…"

"It'll be alright sir," the soldier said as he grabbed onto the corpse's arms and began to haul it away.

"Hey! Aren't you going to call for help? He's your friend right?"

"I can't. I must clean up this mess before any afterimages show up."

"Afterimages?" the boy parroted.

"Yes, were her majesty to learn that they appeared anywhere near the castle, she'd be most angry. Now if you'll excuse me, I really must hurry." He then said no more and continued dragging the body away.

_'This place makes me sick!'_ Naruto thought with disgust, _'No one values life here at all. And I'm getting scared that my mind would even dream this stuff up! Believe it! And all this game, "those with roles to play" and afterimage stuff, I just don't get any of it. This world's nothing like home.'_

"Oh! It's the Nii-chan!" the red twin whose name was Obito called, drawing the taller teen out of his thoughts.

"Yay! It's the Nii-chan!" Tobi, the orange twin beamed.

Suddenly, Naruto found himself being glomped by two overly enthusiastic gatekeepers. "W-Whoa! I-I'm not doing anything!" the blond stammered as he tried to escape from the twins' iron hold.

"Boss Itachi said to be nice the Nii-chan," Obito explained.

"Yep. Yep," Tobi agreed, "Tobi and Obito were waiting for you to come play with us at the mansion again Nii-chan."

_'Phwew,'_ the taller boy said, letting out a silent sigh of relief, _'Guess, Itachi-san "talked" to them too.'_

"Tobi, Obito," a strange voice called coming up to them, "Is that your boyfriend?"

Naruto blinked at the figure before them. It was a teenaged boy just a tad taller than him. He had blood red hair that was cut short and rather sloppy as if he'd just gotten out of bed. Piercing teal eyes that were rimmed with black rings were eyeing him appraisingly. The kanji for 'Ai' stood out on the left side of his forehead. He was dressed in tight black leather pants and a cropped leather tank top. A studded cat collar – the usual little bell included – was around his slender neck and a chain connected it to a piercing in his belly button. He had a par of fingerless gloves – one going up to his elbow while the other stopped just a tiny bit beyond the wrist. A multitude of rings adorned his slender fingers. Draped around his shoulders and hooked around his arms was a sand and red striped furry boa. But what startled the blond was that he had sand colored cat ears and tail. A tiny fish skeleton was hanging from one ear and his tail.

"He's an outsider!" Obito beamed, replying to the cat boy's question.

"Yep!" agreed his brother, "Tobi says his name's Naruto!"

"An outsider, huh?" the cat boy asked as he leaned over the blond and began sniffing him like a cat would. "You smell wonderful," he said licking his cheek before purring and rubbing against him.

_'Great, now I'm being molested by some punk cat. What next?'_

"That's Gaara," Obito chirped, still clinging to one of the blond's arms. "He lives at the amusement park."

"Tobi, Obito and Gaara are buddies!" added Tobi, clinging to the other one.

"Nice to meet you Naruto," Gaara said smiling slightly.

"Hey, I thought the amusement park and the Hatters were enemies, so why are you guys buddies?"

Gaara got a confused look and Naruto couldn't help but think it made the cat boy look cute. "Oh that," the Cheshire Cat said, "No one gives a damn. They're just hired men and I'm nothing but a stray. Either way there's no rule that says 'you can't be friends with the enemy.'"

"Yep, Yep," Tobi and Obito said in unison. "Though, Bushy Brows and Boss Itachi really hate each other!" Obito chirped.

"It's not just about land," Gaara added, "There's a grudge between the two. I don't blame Lee, not after what the Hatter did to him." Naruto suddenly got chills at the cat's icy tone. "Curious?" Gaara asked, grinning, "You want to know what he did don't you?"

"W-What did he do?" Naruto gulped nervously.

"Mary Gowland," the Cheshire Cat offered in explanation.

"Merry… Go-Round?" the blond parroted.

"It's actually Mary Gowland, but anyway, that's Lee's real name."

"Bushy Brows is embarrassed about it so he kept it secret," Obito said, laughing.

"Yep, and Boss Itachi found out and told the world!" Tobi squealed with glee.

"Well it does sound like a theme park ride," the blond said trying his best to stifle a laugh.

"Yes, and that got Lee really upset," Gaara added, grinning in spite of himself. "You know, Naruto," the cat boy began, "If you think it's fun to poke fun at Lee, why don't you come see the park? It's much more fun."

"No way!" Tobi shouted, clinging tighter to Naruto's arm, "Nii-chan's coming to play with Tobi first!"

"Yeah!" interjected Obito, "Boss Itachi invited him first!"

"Who cares who invited him first?" Gaara hissed very much an annoyed cat.

"We do! We do!" the twins piped.

"Ok! Ok!" Naruto yelled, fearing that his arms would be torn off by the 'Bloody Twins'. "I'll go visit ya in order so let go already!"

"Yay!" crowed Tobi and Obito.

Naruto sat against a tree to rest haven finally been able to get away from the hyper twins. He pulled out the vial Kakashi had left with him and stared at it, wondering what the heck he did to deserve such a wacked out dream. "Sasori was right," he whispered, noticing that there was more liquid inside than earlier. "It does go up every time I talk to someone."

_ "Everyone here is going to fall for you,"_ Neji's voice whispered in his brain as he continued to think about everyone's insane behavior toward him. _'There's no way I'd ever want a place like this,' _the blond mused. _'Besides there's only one person I really want.'_ Flashes of short spiky raven hair and dark eyes flew by. _'That Itachi guy kinda reminds me of him, so Ino-nee-chan's books would probably say that I dreamed him up because I wanted _him. _I know I'm not that great looking or classy like nee-chan, but there's nothing I can do about that, right?'_

"Alright Naru that's enough soul searching!" he chided, as he stretched and got to his feet. "I'd better get back to Sasori's. This place is so crazy, there's no telling when nighttime will show up."

A few minutes later, the blond stopped upon hearing a strange sound coming from deeper in the forest. "What's that thumping?" he asked, "I-Is someone there?" There was movement at the corner of the boy's eye and he whirled his head only to see nothing. Letting his curiosity overrule his nervousness, Naruto steeled himself and headed in the direction the movement came from.

He gasped when he came across a faceless corpse, blood pooling around the man's body. "Hey!" the called, "Y-You okay? You want me to get help?" There was no response. As was debating whether or not to go find someone, shadowy figures suddenly appeared and started to swarm around the unconscious man.

"Hey! Who are you guys?" the boy shouted, "G-Get away from him! You did that to him didn't ya?" Naruto really wanted to help the poor man, but found that his body was frozen with fear. He could barely move a finger let alone the rest of his limbs. As he watched the man's chest began to glow and a circular shape could barely be seen. The glow flared and when he could see again, the blond saw that the corpse was gone.

"H-H-He's gone!" he stammered, "I-Is that a clock?" Where the faceless man once wasHHH lay a pocket watch. One of the shadows leaned over and gingerly picked up the clock and pressed it possessively to its chest. And just as silently and quickly as they appeared, the figures vanished. Not wanting to stick around lest they returned for him, Naruto high-tailed it out of there.

"J-Just what was that?" he asked a bit later once he was back on the path to the Tower. "That guy turned into clock. It's just too freaky for me to dream up. I bet Sasori would know what happened back there, I mean he does live in a Clock Tower."

The boy wondered about the Tower looking for his host. Upon reaching the bottommost level, he could hear voices. "I see… he was from that district... Yes, I'll have it retrieved… yes this time too… no, it'll be easy to repair."

"Sasori?" Naruto asked when he spied the redhead standing not to far from the staircase.

"Oh it's you," the taller teen replied sullenly.

"You weren't in that workshop so…"

"I had something to take care of here."

"Oh, I see. So who were ya talking to?" the blond asked, noticing that they were alone.

"No one. I think it would be obvious that there's no one other than you and myself."

_'And here I though he was the only sane one here!' _Naruto wailed, _'I should have known, he'd be just as nutso as the rest. Wonderful, I'm stuck rooming with a guy who talks to himself.'_

"You're late, by the way," Sasori said walking past him and started up the stairs.

"I knew he'd be worried," Naruto muttered under his breath. "Hey it's not like I _**wanted**_ to stay out there so long!" he spat, "It's not exactly fun ya know. I did meet a lot of wierdos tho' and saw Kakashi kill someone. And I saw these really freaky black shadow things and a clock." Sasori winced mid-step, but continued to climb the stairs. "You fix clocks right?" the blond started again. "I bet you know what that was all about."

"I don't," Sasori snapped much too hastily for it not to be a lie.

"Yeah, right! You're hiding something Sasori, I know you are! So spill it already and stop lying to me!"'

"It's not something an outsider should worry about," the taller teen shot back, "You'll be going back to your world eventually, why would you care to know everything about this place? Just leave it be."

Naruto was about to protest again, when they heard footsteps from below. Sasori stopped, growing nervous as whomever it was got closer. The redhead got in front of the shorter boy and waited to them to appear. The blond's sapphire orbs widened in shock and apprehension when a figure in a blood covered and tattered hood stopped a few steps below. He could see that he was wearing a mask. "Um… you know that guy right?" he asked his taller host.

"Why hello there, Naruto-kun," the newcomer said lowering his hood and removing the mask. "Long time no see."

"Sai! Wait a sec! How come you're dressed like the crazy guy in a horror movie?"

"Oh these?" the knight queried, with his usual cheesy smile, "They're just my work clothes. And don't worry about the blood. I'm not hurt at all."

_'How the heck can he be smiling when he's dripping blood all over?'_ Naruto thought taking a few steps up and away from the frightening looking teen.

"I've been helping Sasori-san with his job," the teen continued.

"Don't talk about things that don't concern him," snapped the redheaded Tower master, "Just hurry it up and fork over what you were sent to bring me. You know I hate waiting."

"Of course, Sasori-san." The knight then brought out a small wrapped bundle. He carefully removed the cloth to reveal a pocket watch. "I'm sure you'll be able to fix it," he added as the redhead snatched the clock from him and headed back up the stairs, ignoring the blond.

"So, you two repair clocks, huh?" Naruto asked.

"No, that's Sasori-san's job, I help him with before the repairs."

"Must I repeat myself?" Sasori said over his shoulder, "Stop talking so much, Sai. Go before they miss you at the castle, you are on duty after all."

"Yeesh," the shortest of the three said, "If he were any colder, he'd be a freaking snowman! Ya know Sai, he was kinda brushing off my questions later too. I tried to ask him about these black shadow things and the body I saw, but he just wouldn't tell me."

"Wow," Sai whispered, amazed, "If I didn't know any better, I think he was trying to get Naruto-kun to like him."

"You say something Sai?"

"Those shadows you saw," the brunet said, "They're afterimages."

"Afterimages? That soldier at the castle said something like that."

"They have no physical form."

"Y-Y-You mean l-l-like g-g-ghosts?" the blond stuttered. He always did have a fear of all things ghost related.

"Oh, they're not ghosts, they just happen to exist, that's all."

"That's good," Naruto said in relief, "What was up with them taking that clock, do you know?"

"Sorry Naruto-kun," Sai replied, still smiling, "I don't think I'm allowed to tell you about that. Sasori-san would be very angry with me if I didn't keep this secret. So I can't tell you anything I do for him. I would never go against a friend."

"So you guys are best friends or something?"

"I guess so, you see of all of 'those with duties', I like him best."

"So you and Sasori are 'those with roles to play'?"

"Oh you knew? Wow, I'm surprised outsiders knew stuff like that."

_'It's starting to make sense,"_ the blond pondered, _'All the servants don't have any faces – at least the ones at the castle do, and 'those with duties' do. They also kinda feel different too. That makes people notice them.'_

"I'd rather be free of my duty though," the Knight of Hearts said his voice solemn in spite of the smile that seemed to be continuously pasted on his face. "That's why I'm not too found of clocks or my duties."

"If you don't like your job, then why don't you quit?"

Sai just continued to smile as he replaced the mask and hood. "I really should be heading back. Good day, Naruto-kun."

Later that night, Naruto was once again in the barren landscape where he'd met Neji. "So you saw an afterimage," the dream demon remarked appearing in the sky above him.

"Neji!"

"When someone in this world dies, their body can't keep its physical form so it leaves behind a clock. The afterimages then come to clean up."

"Yeah I saw. It's just so bizarre that it really freaks me out," the blond said angrily.

"You wanted to help, but couldn't right? You can't," Neji said crossing his arms, "That's how fate is, there is no changing it. Besides it's one of the rules."

"Well, guess what 'Mr.-You-Can't-Fight-Fate'? I think that rule sucks! You just can't treat people that way, even if this is 'just a dream,'" Naruto yelled, spitting the brunet's earlier words back at him.

"Really? What if it was some random stranger?" Neji retorted.

"Even a stranger deserves help! I don't wanna be one of those who just stands there and watches!" the blond shot back. "I did try to help that guy, but I just couldn't move for some weird reason," he added quietly, ashamed for sounding like a hypocrite.

"You couldn't because it was alright. That 'person' didn't need help. Don't blame yourself, Naruto dear."

"You know why I couldn't move, don't you Neji? Tell me!" the shorter boy demanded. He then lunged at the dream demon and grabbed onto his jacket lapels, shaking them furiously. "I'm sick of everybody treating me like I was some little kid or some kind of toy! Stop hiding stuff from me and talk to me damn it! Say something, will you?"

The dream demon started to say something, but was overcome with a coughing fit. The coughs got worse and he attempted to cover his mouth, but failed as blood suddenly came pouring out and covered the shocked blond.

"!" Naruto screamed, running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. "I can't believe you puked blood on me!"

"S-Serves you right for shaking me like that," Neji spat wiping the crimson liquid from his mouth with a handkerchief. "Just because I'm a dream demon doesn't mean I can't get sick."

_'Whoever heard of a sick demon?'_ the blond thought. _'But he does look kinda pale, so maybe he really is sick.'_

"Look if you're so sick, then why don't you go see a doctor? Or go to the hospital?"

"Out of the question!" the slightly taller brunet snapped.

"But you puked blood! That's not good man!"

"T-They scare me," Neji muttered, blushing.

"C'mon Neji! You're a demon for crying out loud! Demon's don't get scared!" scolded Naruto.

"I hate needles and you can't make me go!" he spat, sounding very much like a petulant and spoiled child.

"You're such a wuss, Neji!" the blond said laughing. "Fraidy demon! Fraidy demon!" he kept repeating while holding his sides and rolling on the ground.

As the blond lay sleeping on the bed and mumbling as he dreamed, Sasori stood by Naruto's side, wondering what it was about the boy that would cause him to put down his tools and leave his work. Ever since he showed up in Wonderland, all Naruto had done was complain and ask questions, so why would he feel compelled to care for the boy? It wasn't like he was actually useful either – he just got in the way. Shaking his head and huffing in disgust, the Tower master turned and left the spare room he had fixed up earlier, making sure he shut the door as quietly as he could.

~TBC~

Sakura: Whee! More fun for Naru-chan on his b'day!

Naru: Lady, there's no way that could be fun! Believe it! I can't believe you'd make me go through all that on my birthday! T_T You'd better get me the heck outta your freak show or else!

Ita: Surely you don't think I'm a freak, Nau-chan.

Naru: O-Of c-course not Ita!

Gaara: Naruto Uzumaki, if Sakura refuses to let me out of this, then you are staying as well.

Sakura: Now, boys play nice or I'll be forced to let someone else have their fun with the cutie. Well, folks, let me know what you think of this latest bit of wackiness. ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 3

Disclaimer for this part: The song isn't mine. Disney owns it, I'm just borrowing a teeny bit of it for fun's sake.

The next day there was a knock at the door of Sasori's workshop door. Naruto who'd been watching the taller teen work while having some morning tea, got up to answer it since Sasori was currently working intently on the clock Sai had brought him. To the blond's surprise and chagrin, the Bloody Twins and Gaara stood outside.

"Ohayo gozaimasu (Good morning), Naruto," the cat boy purred.

"Ohayo, Nii-chan!" the twins chorused. "We're here to play!" Obito chirped.

"I've come to take you to the park," the shorter of the redheads announced, taking a seat at the table, Naruto had occupied earlier. He then poured himself a cup and took a sip.

"It's no fair!" whined Tobi, tears streaming down his face, "Tobi wanted you to come to our place first, but…"

"Boss Itachi's not home right now," finished Obito.

"I'm certainly impressed," Sasori quipped, pausing in his work and adjusting his glasses, "You've actually managed to tame those three."

"I-I didn't do it on purpose, you know," the blond stammered blushing.

"Ooooooo, Tobi thinks someone's jealous!" the orange clad twin jeered and earning a glare from the Tower master.

"We won't be gone long," Gaara stated, rising from his seat. "Unless you wish to accompany us. Lee misses you," grinned the Cheshire Cat, knowing the other redhead's reply.

"Certainly not!" Sasori snapped. "I have too much to do to waste time with frivolous rides."

"Wah! Meanie!" Tobi whined.

"Nah," said the red twin, "He's just scared of roller coasters!" The clock fixer glared at them again, but couldn't hide the blush coloring his face.

"Hmph, be that way," Gaara huffed, "Naruto's coming with us now. Stay here and mope if you wish." With that the cat boy grabbed the shorter blond and dragged him from the workshop, the Bloody Twins in tow.

"Stupid noisy brats," grumbled Sasori, going back to his work.

_'Yeesh! Why do I have all these crazy lame fantasies running in my head?'_ Naruto griped upon arriving at a fantasy themed amusement park.

"Don't you like it?" Gaara asked.

"Nah, it's just I'd thought that since you guys were at war with the mafia this place wouldn't be so… um… sparkly."

"Really?" the Cheshire Cat pondered, "I thought all parks were like this."

"Greetings!" called a pair of faceless park attendants, wearing spandex costumes of various colors of green. "Welcome to our honored guest!" Naruto grimaced as they began to rant and rave on the various wonders of the park, all the while striking various ridiculous poses.

_'Ugh! What's with the freaky costumes? And they seriously need to switch to decaf!' _the blond thought.

"And now!" the faceless man crowed, "It is time for you to meet with our marvelous owner!"

"Right this way, please," the woman ushered, "Do mind your step."

The blond continued to get more and more nervous as they made their way past several rides and games. _'Please, please, please don't let the owner be as freaky as these guys,' _he silently prayed.

"Owner! Owner!" the attendants shouted upon spotting another green spandex clad man standing by what appeared to be a fun house. "We have some honored guests!"

The man turned around and Naruto went stiff, trying his hardest not to laugh like a maniac at the teen. The owner was indeed dressed in green spandex, but that wasn't the extent of his oddness. He had short black hair styled into a bowl haircut and had the most enormous eyebrows the boy had ever seen. Also hooked to the belt around his waist were a couple of Merry-Go-Round horse charms.

"Oh, that is most splendid!" he cheered, "There is nothing more invigorating than sharing a youthful afternoon at my park with guests! Am I to believe you are the outsider everyone has been talking about?" the owner queried, turning to the blond.

"Y-Yeah, I'm…" Naruto replied, stifling his giggles as best as he could.

"Naruto, right?" the green clad boy beamed, "My name is Rock Lee. It is truly an honor to meet such a bright and youthful person. Now that we have been properly introduced, I must express the joy of finally meeting you with a most excellent and youthful song!"

The twins turned as green as Lee's spandex and Gaara looked totally mortified as the park owner brought out a violin. "Lee! Don't! Spare Naruto!" he pleaded. However, the cat's plea fell on deaf ears and Lee began to play and sing.

"Little bread and butterflies kiss the tulips

and the sun's like a toy balloon

There are get up in the morning glories

in the golden afternoon

Oh there are daffy daffodils on the hillside

Strings of violets are all in tune

Tiger lilies love the Dandelions

in the golden afternoon"

"Ack!" cried Gaara and the twins as they desperately tried to block out the hideously off key singing and even worse playing by covering their ears. Naruto quickly followed suit, turning the most interesting combination of blue and green. Lee continued the song totally oblivious of his audience's horrified reactions.

_'Argh!'_ Naruto inwardly screamed, _'I was getting queasy with all this sparkly stuff, but now, I'm really gonna lose it if he doesn't stop! God please, please, please, please, make it stop!"_

Reaching the breaking point, the nauseated blond shouted the first thing that popped into his head on the top of his lungs. "THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE, MARY GOWLAND!"

That brought the owner's impromptu recital to a screeching halt. A rather murderous look appeared on the teen's face as he turned to glare at Gaara. "Gaara! You told didn't you! How could you, you un-youthful mongrel!" Tears began to stream from his caterpillar topped eyes.

"It slipped out, Lee," the cat boy replied, not bothering to stop the grin from coming to his face. He gave Naruto a grateful and conspiratorial wink.

"You are correct, my friend," the park owner said, clenching his fists, "It is all _**his**_ fault! That most un-youthful villain, Itachi Uchiha! I shall despise my most hated and eternal rival for as long as we both shall live!" The teen then turned red with rage and a fiery aura surrounded him. "I shall destroy him with my youthfulness the very next time I see that vile man!"

"We'd better leave," Gaara whispered, used to Lee's outbursts, "It is always best to stay away until Lee calms down. I'll show you around." Naruto didn't protest as the Cheshire Cat took hold of his hand and led him away from the still ranting Lee.

"What would you like to go on first?" the Cheshire Cat asked, sidling up to the blond as they finished the tour of Lee's amusement park. "The teacup ride would be a good start."

"No!" the twins protested, "He wants to go on the loop-de-loop!" said Obito.

"Tobi wants the nii-chan to go on the big wheel with him!" his brother argued.

Naruto inched away from the squabbling trio, fearing that they would once again attempt to tear him from limb to limb in their desires to get him to go with one of them. The boy was so intent on escaping the cat and twins that he failed to see the two figures walking down the street behind him and gasped when he felt himself bump into something. He stiffened when he felt two arms grab onto him, stopping him not only from falling, but from escaping as well.

"Well, well, this is a surprise," Itachi said, smiling, "If I had known you wanted to come here, Naruto, I would have arranged for a more suitable escort," he said frowning disapprovingly at the still arguing trio.

"Hey, it's the boss!" Tobi and Obito chorused when the twins finally noticed their employer. "And chickie rabbit too!" Tobi added.

'_What the heck is he doing here?'_ the blond silently wondered, _'I though he and freaky Bushy Brows were enemies.'_

"So this is where you were going when you said you were going out, huh boss?" the red twin asked.

"I didn't think you two would be here," the yakuza head remarked.

"Were you brats supposed to be guarding a certain gate, hmm?" Deidara scolded.

"Shut up you stupid bimbo bunny!" Obito spat, pulling down his eyelid and sticking out his thumb.

"Tobi wants days off too!" whined the orange clad twin.

"Why you little….! You're always goofing off so you get no vacation!" yelled the blond rabbit man.

"So… um…" Naruto started, "You guys came here for fun too?" That earned a chuckle from the Hatter and an incredulous look from Deidara.

"Is this kid serious?" the March Hare asked, shocked, "This is enemy turf, un! We're not here for fun, ya got that, hmm?"

"B-But why come to an amusement park if you're not gonna have fun?" the shorter blond wondered.

"Actually, we're here on business," the raven haired man replied. "I wish to get rid of some land we've just acquired. I was hoping Lee would be willing to buy it, since it was originally his to begin with."

'_That's low!'_ Naruto fumed, _'I guess this guy really is in the yakuza.'_

"I don't think that'd be wise," Gaara said approaching the Hatter, "Lee is in a rather nasty mood right now."

"I see. Thank you for the warning," Itachi said, "I did not come here to start a fight, so I will come back once he's calmed down."

"Yeah, he was pretty mad," Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. He felt really guilty by letting it slip he knew the park owner's real name.

"Well if it isn't my eternal rival," Lee called, smiling, "I apologize for making you come all the way here as so we could discuss land negotiations."

'_Wow, he calmed down pretty fast,'_ the blond noted.

"Do make yourself comfortable, Hatter," the spandex clad boy said, bringing out his violin. Naruto and Gaara paled, though the redhead was worried for another reason. The instrument glowed and within an instant turned into a shotgun. "But I'd like it better if you did so as a corpse!"

Dark orbs flashed red as Lee aimed the shotgun at the Mad Hatter. It was obvious that the boy's hatred had blinded him so much that he hadn't even noticed the blond still trapped inside his arms. Thinking fast, the yakuza boss grabbed onto the blond even tighter and spun around, putting himself between the boy and Lee's gun as there was a loud bang. There was a whizzing sound as the shot flew into the air and to everyone's relief, only the Hatter's hat received any injury, a large hole was on both sides above the expensive silk banding of the top hat. Also several of the roses had been either knocked off or shredded, their crimson petals falling to the ground like so many drops of blood.

Once he'd made sure Naruto was safe, the Hatter family head calmly turned to face his enemy. "That was one of my best hats," he said icily.

"Where the heck was he aiming?" Gaara muttered under his breath, "He's still such a lousy shot."

"How youthful of you," Lee beamed, "to not be bothered by my shot, just what I expect from my eternal rival. However, I am truly angry now."

'_I should have known this would happen.'_ Gaara continued to grumble, '_What was I thinking bringing the outsider here today?'_

"Oi!" yelled Deidara brandishing his gun and pointing it at the green clad teen, "Ya wanna mess with Ita, ya mess with me, un!"

Sensing their boss was in danger, dozens of faceless park attendants rushed over and formed a line in front of Lee, protecting him from the March Hare's weapon. Each of them had a gun of their own and they were all pointed at the Hatter and March Hare. There was another loud bang as Lee fired off another shot. The pellets whizzed between Gaara and Deidara, smashing into a marble post behind the two. The carved stone broke in half and landed against the cobblestones in the street with an enormous crash.

Naruto let out a scream and ducked for cover.

"That's enough Lee!" Gaara shouted, "Do you want to destroy your own park with us still in it?"

The caterpillar browed boy snapped out of his fury and lowered his shotgun. "You are right, my most youthful friend. It would be most un-youthful of me to do so, especially with an honored guest here. I think I'll call it a day," he said heading back to his home.

"Hn," Itachi sneered, "Backing off all ready, Mary Gowland?"

The spandex clad teen froze in mid-step and spun to face his arch nemesis, the shotgun aimed at the taller man. "S-S-Stop!" pleaded Naruto daring to come out of his hiding spot and standing next to the Hatter. "I-I'm okay Itachi."

"Do you wish him to kill us all?" hissed Gaara. "You know his aim is horrible."

"I was going to let you live for today, my rival," Lee spat, "I did not wish for Naruto-san to see your lifeless body, but how can I be youthful if you refuse to die!"

Naruto suddenly found his hand tightly enclosed in Itachi's larger one. He was about to protest, when the yakuza boss turned to him. "Run," he said calmly and started to head back into the direction he and Deidara had come from. Realizing that he had no choice but to obey, the blond allowed himself to be led from the irate park owner.

"Here should be safe enough," Itachi said when they were on the other side of the enormous amusement park and finally away from Lee and his hair triggered mood swings.

"What were you thinking, provoking him like that?" Naruto bellowed, "I thought you didn't like hassles."

The raven haired man smiled at the much smaller blond, "I do, but I hate being bored even more. Besides, I've always wanted to make a daring escape with a cutie like you," he purred. "It's rather romantic don't you think?"

Naruto couldn't help but blush at that. _'He flirts like it's some kind of automatic thing, but no telling what's going on in that crazy head of his,'_ he pondered, _'Argh! I shouldn't even be wondering about stuff like that anyway. I mean I don't even really know this guy. So what if he reminds me of my stupid no good ex, he's still a yakuza boss for crying out loud.'_

"We ran so much," Itachi said, interrupting the boy's train of thought, "Much further than we needed. Even I am a bit exhausted. I could really use a nice cup and tea and some dango."

"You like tea and dango?" Naruto parroted, surprised that a criminal like Itachi would have a sweet tooth.

"Why yes, I do. Who wouldn't?" said yakuza boss replied, pouring on the charm again, "The sweetness of the dango mixes will with the deceptively simple taste of the tea and I find the aroma quite calming."

'_I-Is that a real smile?'_ the blond wondered as he continued to watch the taller man, Itachi's dark eyes shining alone with the large grin he was currently sporting. "I like tea too," he piped, "Me and Ino-nee-chan," drink it together lots of times.

"Ino-nee-chan?" Itachi parroted, "Not another rival for my attention, I hope," he said leaning down so that their faces were almost touching.

"W-W-Wha?" the blond sputtered, blushing at the man's closeness, "N-N-No! She's my older sister!"

"Ah," he replied, "I see. That must be nice, to have tea with your sister." A rather sad and wistful look came upon the Mad Hatter's face.

Naruto started to ask what was wrong, but quickly thought against it. Ino had constantly beaten him up every time he attempted to pry into other people's problems. She thought it was rude and believed that if they wanted to talk about it, they would tell when they were good and ready. "Hey…" the blond started, "You know I had some tea at the castle. It was really good."

"That so?" Itachi asked, the solemnity of the look on his face creeping into his voice, "Did the queen pour?"

"Huh? Yeah she did."

"Oh." Itachi got even more depressed looking and leaned against the side of a building, crossing his arms as he continued to go off into his own little world.

'_Was it something I said?' _ Naruto silently wondered, feeling concerned for the suddenly morose man, _'All I did was say that Queen Sakura poured the tea for me.'_

"You," Itachi said after what seemed hours of silence.

"Huh?" the blond replied.

"Come to my mansion," the yakuza boss continued, "I'll throw a tea party in your honor. I assure you that I have far more appealing tea than that sludge they have at the castle." He suddenly leapt from the wall and before Naruto could do or say anything Itachi slammed his hands against the bricks on either side of the boy's head, effectively trapping him and preventing him from escaping should Naruto try to.

Said blond gulped nervously as Itachi leaned his forehead against his. "I may invite some of the 'those with roles to play' for tea, otherwise, I usually invite people I like. Will you accept my invitation, Naruto-chan?"

'_He's asking as nicely as he can,'_ the boy thought, _'and I'm sure he really doesn't mean to hurt me, but he's starting to freak me out here.'_

"Um…" Naruto began, "I really should…. um… tell Sasori first." He then laid a hand on the man's jacket and vest clad chest in an attempt to carefully push him away so he could escape. Itachi latched onto the hand and clasped it tightly.

"I would like it **very** much that you joined me for tea, Naruto-chan. I can promise you would have a wonderful time," he said smiling broadly before bringing the blond's hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss to the lightly tanned skin.

The boy blushed at the man's seductive voice and words. "U-Um… okay," he agreed, "I-I'll go have tea with you."

"Good," Itachi replied, still smiling, "I'll let you go now, Naruto-chan, now that you've said yes." He then backed away, giving the blond plenty of room.

"Boss Itachi!"

"Nii-chan!" the Bloody Twins shouted, running up to the couple.

"There ya are, Ita, un!" Deidara called, joining Tobi and Obito. "Ya not hurt are ya, hmm?"

"No. We're fine, Deidara," replied the yakuza head, "What went on with Lee?"

"After you dashed outta there, Bushy Brows started to calm down," the red clad twin replied.

"Yeah, but not before he went all nutso again, un," added the March Hare, "Anyway, Gaara-kun said it'd be best if we didn't show our faces around here for a while, un."

"Couldn't be helped," Itachi said stoically, "We're leaving Deidara." He then headed toward the park's entrance.

"Right!" replied the blond rabbit man, "Later, Naru-kun, un! You brats are coming too, un! Ya've got a gate to guard!"

"Tobi wants to play with the nii-chan!" the orange clad boy whined.

"Me too!" Obito seconded.

The taller of the blonds scowled and promptly whacked the two on the head. "You're coming and that's that, un!" The twins whined, but reluctantly obeyed the March Hare and joined their boss.

"Oh and Naruto-chan," Itachi called glancing over his shoulder at the smaller blond, "I'm looking forward to seeing you at our tea party.

"I-I'm looking forward to it too," he stammered in return, blushing. _'I wonder… does he really like me? He said he only invites people he likes, so he can't be lying right?'_

"Ne, Ita," Deidara started as they walked the forest path back to the Hatter family mansion, "Ya sure flirt with the kid a lot, un. So do ya **like** like him, hmm?"

"I admit I'm interested in him," replied his boss and friend, "and it would be nice to have someone unusual like that outsider at my arm. Of course, I could always kill him if he starts to bore me. Now, no more of such trivial talk Deidara. I want my hot tea and dango."

A few days later, Naruto had received a rather expensive looking invitation from the Hatter. Seeing as the man obviously went through a lot of trouble of sending him a fancy summons, the blond felt obligated to go, much to the clock fixer's trepidation. So there he was, at the Hatter's mansion having tea with the yakuza boss, the Bloody Twins, the March Hare, and the Cheshire Cat. However, it unnerved him a bit that time in this insane world was probably the only thing that didn't have to play by the rules, for the tea party was being held outside under the stars.

"It's night time again," the blond noted.

"So it is," his host quipped, "Though I usually call it the dead of night. It just sounds better, don't you think?"

_'Ok, now that's creepy,'_ the blond thought, _'Just what is it with this guy? First he flirts with me then he goes and says something creepy like that.' _"It's kinda strange to be having a tea party in the middle of the night," he said, blushing as the Hatter pushed his chair in before sitting next to him.

"Really?" the raven haired man asked, pouring himself a cup of tea then one for his guest, "I never pay attention to the time since I have tea parties whenever I feel like, just as events are held during at the evening since it's the queen's favorite time of day."

"Yeah, but back at home, I sleep at night."

"Oh, then I must apologize for making you come at night, you must be tired then," the taller man said, truly surprised at this little tidbit.

"Nah! I'm fine, besides, it's kinda fun having a tea party at night," the blond replied after taking a sip of the warm liquid and finding it to his liking. "Thanks for inviting me by the way."

"See, Ita," Deidara piped, "It's cool, un! So what if it's three in the morning, three is three, un!"

"Deidara," Itachi said coolly, his voice having a slight edge to it, "You're starting to sound like Kakashi Hatake again."

"E-Eh?" the blond rabbit man sputtered.

"Isn't he always saying the same thing when he's late?" quipped the yakuza head, "I must admit I've had my suspicions about the two of you being related. You do have similar characteristics after all."

"Ittttaaaa!" pouted Deidara, "There's no way I'm like that bastard, un! He's a major sneak and way too flaky to be related to me, un! And I've got a way cooler haircut too, un!"

"Now that you think about it," Naruto interjected, "there is a resemblance."

"N-Not you too, Naru-kun! Y-You're joking right?"

"Well you and that pervy rabbit do have the same ears," the blond remarked going back to his tea. The twins, who have been watching the exchange with interest, started snickering behind there hands.

"No way, kid, un!" spat the taller blond jumping from his seat and shoving his ears into Naruto's face. "These aren't rabbit ears! They're just long see! And look at the stuff I eat, un!" He then made a dramatic gesture toward the various dishes of orange colored food spread out before his seat, "Carrot compote, carrot cookies, carrot cake, **and** carrot tea. They're my favorites, un!" The blond raised an eyebrow. "So what if I like stuff made from carrots, hnm? Rabbits eat carrots raw, un! They like raw carrots so much, they can't get enough of 'em, un. It's pretty clear I'm **not **a rabbit!"

_'Is this guy for real?'_ Naruto thought as he hid the snicker behind his teacup. _'C'mon, he's got carrot dishes only! How much more rabbit like can a guy be? But, ya know, I think this is how Deidara really is. It's like he's a totally different guy, not at all like he was when we first met.'_

"Oi, what's up, Naru-kun?" the March Hare asked with a full mouth, looking up from his beloved carrot filled treats upon noticing the shorter boy staring at him. "There somethin' on my face, hmm?"

"Arrgh!" shouted Naruto shouted, unable to fight the urge he had ever since the rabbit man shoved his ears in his face any longer, "It's driving me nuts!" The blond then reached up and grabbed Deidara's soft and fuzzy looking ears.

"Yeeeoooowwwwtch, un!" the taller blond screamed, "W-What're you doing, un?"

"Ha! Serves ya right!" crowed Naruto, "That's what you get for dangling those fuzzy things in my face! They make me wanna snuggle 'em!" He then promptly began rubbing the furry appendages against his cheeks and run his hands all over the golden fur, finding that they were as soft as they looked.

"N-N-No stop, un! Oi c'mon kid!" cried the helpless rabbit man as the twins and Cheshire Cat continued to watch. All three had enormous grins plastered on their faces. "That hurt, un!" Deidara said, holding onto his abused appendages, "Why do ya have to hate me so much, hmm? Do ya think I'm really like that rabbit guy, hmm?"

Naruto got a shocked look on his face. He didn't mean for the other blond to think he did it out of hate. He just couldn't help himself, every time he saw something cute or fuzzy or both, he just had to snuggle it or rub it against his skin. It had been a compulsion of his since childhood and he had been unable to break out of it. "I-I don't hate ya, Dei-dei," the boy stammered, blushing, "You're way cooler than Kakashi!"

"Ya think so, hmm?" he asked, perking up. Even his ears were standing at attention.

"Yeah, not all rabbits can be the same, right?"

"You're a nice guy, Naru-kun, un!" Deidara beamed, his furry appendages, twitching with glee. "I love ya too, un!"

_'M-M-Must… r-r-r-esist…e-e-ears..."_ the shorter blond kept repeating over and over in his head as the urge reared its ugly head again. _'But he's so damned cute when he does that!"_

Sensing the blond's predicament, Gaara decided to lend a hand by speaking up. "I almost forgot. Lee wished for me to pass a message to you Naruto. He's upset that you didn't get to go on any rides because of him so he wants to give you a free pass. You can come back whenever you want."

"Gee, that's really nice of him, Gaara! Tell 'im I said thanks. Oh, yeah, I was wondering about that violin of his, by the way."

"I am painfully aware of how terrible he is, if that's what you mean," the redhead replied.

"Actually, I thought it was kinda strange looking. I mean it was a lot bigger than the ones we have back home."

"Well," Gaara started, going back to his tea and cake, "The thing is always changing size and shape every time Lee brings it out so I wouldn't know about that. I'm no musician either for that matter."

"Wow you know a lot of stuff don't you, nii-chan?" Obito piped.

"Of course he does!" Tobi added, "Tobi's nii-chan's reeeeaaaallll smart!"

Naruto couldn't help the blush forming on his face. "Well, I guess I do like to read sometimes," he confessed.

"Oh, ya like books, Naru-kun, hmm?" queried Deidara, "Ya know Ita's got a whole crap load of 'em, ne Ita?" The Hatter continued to drink his tea, he seemed to be in his own little world having not paid much attention to the conversation or earlier antics.

"Hn," was the man's stoic reply. "Since you brought it up, I have quite the collection. Philosophy, History, Fantasy. I have so many I can't exactly remember them all, I vaguely remembering having a few books on architecture as well."

"Told ya, kid," beamed the March Hare, "A real crap load. You should show 'em to Naru-kun sometime, Ita."

"That sounds awesome! Your own personal library! Now, that's something I'd like to see!" the shorter blond said, getting pumped. The Hatter looked at the boy with an unreadable expression on his face. "But it's okay if you don't wanna let me see them. I don't wanna be a pain."

"It's okay," the raven haired man replied returning to his tea. "You won't be bothering me."

"What do you want, Rabbit," Sasori snapped when Kakashi appeared at the Clock Tower's top.

"Why to see my darling, Naru-chan of course," he said with a cheerful tone, though his only visible eye was returning the clock fixer's glare.

"He's not here," the redhead snapped.

"Where is he then?"

"If I tell you will you leave?" The White Rabbit said nothing, instead stood silently waiting for an answer to his question. Sasori sighed impatiently. "Fine I'll tell you. If you must know, he's at the Hatter's. Itachi invited him to tea."

"And you let him go?" Kakashi yelled in utter horror and shock.

"There's no rule that says I have to stop him." The silver haired rabbit man had nothing to say to that. Sasori was right. As long as Naruto continued to play the game he was free to see whoever he pleased. "Since you're here, I want to ask you something."

"I suppose I could stay for a few moments, but do keep it short," the White Rabbit drawled in irritation.

"Why did you bring the boy to this world?"

"Why to see that he's happy of course," came Kakashi's reply, smiling.

"Really?" spat the clock fixer, "Then why aren't you watching him better since _**you're**_ the one who forced him to play this game?"

"I did it to make him happy. It's all I live for, nothing matters to me except for Naru-chan's happiness," he retorted, still smiling.

"Out of all of us here, you truly are the most twisted, you know that? Naruto has to find what makes him happy on his own. No one has the right to decide that for him. No one. Since you refuse to, I'm going to tell him how to go home while there's still time."

"Ma, ma," drawled the silver haired rabbit, "Someone likes playing at being brave."

"_**What**_ did you say, Rabbit?"

"Let's face it Sasori_**-chan**_ everyone knows how much of a loner you really are, yet here you are letting **my** Naru-chan live with you. That can only mean that someone's gotten quite attached, ne?" Sasori continued to glare at the rabbit man, his face otherwise emotionless, "I concede that Naru-chan has to decide for himself what makes him happy, but it goes the same way for him getting back to his home as well. He has his own path to follow I believe. You really should learn to practice what you preach, Mortician. Now since Naru-chan isn't present, then I see no further reason to stay. Can't say I've enjoyed our conversation though. Well, jya ne!" The White Rabbit gave a lazy wave over his shoulder as he turned and walked back down the tower stairs.

"Ugh! I _**hate**_ that man," grumbled Sasori, rubbing his temples in an attempt to stave off an inevitable headache.

Kakashi Hatake stood in a small clearing in the Tulgey Wood. He looked at his rather large pocket watch forlornly. _'Everything would be so much easier if Naru-chan loved me in return,'_ the White Rabbit thought to himself, _'But life is never easy isn't it? However, as long as my Naru-chan is stuck in this world – no matter how long that may be - I can forgive him for seeing another man. But should he ever cease to make him happy…'_ Kakashi balled his free hand into a fist, clenching it so tightly that the soft material of his kid gloves threatened to tear at the strain it was being put through.

Meanwhile at the Hatter's, Naruto had finished his third cup of tea and was currently staring at the raven haired man. _'Why can't the real Itachi be like Dei-dei. He's mood, vain, and way too into himself. What the heck was I thinking coming here? He's just like the teme!'_

~TBC~

Sakura: Whee! Now that the gang's all here, let's have a poll folks. Who do you want to see Naru-chan wind up with? The stalker pervy rabbit? The smexy Hatter? Our carrot obsessed Hare? Or perhaps you like 'em cold yet caring like our Tower Master. You make the call here people. You have until the publication of the final HnK manga volume so there's no rush. So let's all root for our fave bishies and let the best man win!


	4. Chapter 4

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 4

Dawn broke over Wonderland signaling the end of the end of the current period. "It would seem that it is time to end our tea party," the Hatter announced. He rose from his seat and clapped his hands. Scores of maids with tiny hats suddenly descended upon the table and began clearing away the dishes. "I've grown rather tired," the raven haired man said, heading back to the mansion, and ignoring his guest. "I'm going to bed."

_'He's got more mood swings than Ino-nee-chan!'_ Naruto noted.

"Ya tired, Naru-kun?" Deidara asked. "You can stay here, ya know, un. There're tons of rooms that we don't use, un."

The shorter blond glanced at the retreating form of the yakuza head. "Nah, I'll head back to the tower, 'sides I… um… don't think Itachi's in the mood for guests right now."

"What are you talking about, un? Of course you're…"

"You should visit me again," interrupted Itachi, "I'll show you my books, if you want. But in return, you must come straight to my room when you do."

'_W-W-W-Wha?' _the boy silently sputtered, too shocked to even open his mouth to protest. _'D-Does that mean he wants to…b-b-b-but I'm not that kind of guy! Get a grip Naruto! He probably has his books in his room, right? __**Right?**__' _

"Deidara, you will escort Naruto-kun back."

"Uh… sure Ita."

"Yeesh, what's his problem?" the shorter of the blonds griped as he and Deidara walked through the trees, "Why does he hate me so much? He's like a spoiled brat or something! Believe it!"

The March Hare got an unreadable expression on his face, remembering his conversation with his friend from the other day. "The boss doesn't hate ya, un," he said placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. _'At least I don't think he does, un. If Ita hated him, he'd killed the kid by now, un.' _He was growing fond of the smaller blond and he didn't want to see him hurt in any way, especially if the Hatter was planning on throwing him away should he get tired of having Naruto around.

The smaller blond let out a cry of disgust, but it wasn't because of the rabbit man's forwardness. "W-What's wrong? Was it something I said?" Deidara stammered, not sure of how to handle the boy. It didn't take him long to figure out the problem though, for standing a few feet away was the taller blond's arch nemesis – the one person people always **had** to compare him too. "Just what we needed, Kakashi Hatake," the blond rabbit man growled.

"NAAAAAAAAARUUUUUUUUUU-CHAAAAAAANNNN!" Kakashi squealed as he ran over to the smaller blond, hellbent on glomping the boy. At the last possible second, Naruto quickly jumped to the side. The silver haired rabbit man fell flat on his face.

"Now there's no need to be shy," Kakashi chirped, rubbing his sore head.

"I'm NOT shy!" yelled Naruto, "You're just a pervert who doesn't get it!"

"Ha! Ha! That's my Naru-chan!" laughed the White Rabbit, "Always playing hard to get. When I saw you weren't at the Clock Tower, I was on my way home heartbroken, but here you are. It has to be destiny that our hearts called out to each other."

"Seriously, you've got more than a few loose screws," the blond muttered under his breath.

The silver haired man's visible eye narrowed in suspicion and jealousy upon spying the other rabbit man. "Again, you are with another man; and the March Hare no less. Tell me Naru-chan, just what is he to you?"

"H-H-Hey! Wait a sec! I-It's not…" Naruto started to protest.

"Though I not surprised you'd be attracted to him, his ears are quite similar to my own. But must you choose such a brutal oaf who's a member of a criminal organization? I am concerned for your life."

"So what if he's not in an honest job?" snapped Naruto, "At least he doesn't stalk me like _**someone **_I know! I like Dei-dei! He's not so bad and he seems like a good friend too!"

"N-Naru-kun!" the March Hare stammered blushing. It wasn't everyday that he got defended by a cute outsider.

Suddenly there was a loud bang and something whooshed between the two blonds, causing them to jump away from each other. "Well, that's glad to hear," Kakashi said smiling, holding his still smoking pistol. "If that mangy hare isn't your beau, then it shouldn't matter to you if he's gone."

"Are you insane?" Naruto shouted.

"You should only need one rabbit in your life, Naru-chan. They are really hideous creatures," Kakashi interrupted, "I'd like nothing more than for the rest of the rabbits to just disappear. It would have been quite awkward if this person were your boyfriend, I am relieved that he isn't."

"I don't care about what kinda beef you've got against rabbits!" the boy bellowed, "You just can't go around shooting my friends! They're precious people so of course it'll matter if Dei-dei's gone!"

"What good are friends?" queried Kakashi, utterly shocked and confused, "You don't need them. But if you must insist on having a rabbit for a friend, let _**me**_ be that rabbit! I know you don't love me, Naru-chan, but I won't mind being your friend."

"Y-You… DAMN RABBIT!" bellowed Deidara, drawing his own weapon, "TAKE IT BACK, UN! TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW, UN! I! AM! NOT! A! RABBIT!"

_'Oh geez,'_ Naruto moaned, rolling his eyes. The March Hare squeezed the trigger and the bullet sped toward the other rabbit man. Kakashi, being used to such behavior from the other inhabitants of Wonderland, deftly dodged the potentially deadly bit of metal, the bullet grazing his finely tailored jacket at the shoulder.

"Ma, Ma," the White Rabbit drawled, "Such a bothersome person."

"You're one to talk, un," spat Deidara, "Looked in the mirror lately, hmm? I'm not gonna let ya upset Naru-kun anymore, un!"

"Deidara!" the smaller blond cried, trying to prevent another crazy gun fight.

However, it appeared that Kakashi had other ideas since he refused to back down, "I am a merciful man," he said, glaring at the other rabbit man, "But I **won't**forgive you, you vile upstart!" The pistol went off and the March Hare was forced to dodge, causing the bullet to rip a new hole in his already tattered cape.

"Merciful my ass, un!" Deidara snapped, "Merciful men don't harass cute boys, un! If ya don't wanna leave as a corpse, then say I'm not a rabbit, un!"

_'Dei… Dei-dei's fighting him for me?'_ Naruto felt his heart skip a beat at the though of having his honor defended, especially by a good looking man. Not even his ex would stand up for him when others bullied him.

"If it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck… as the saying goes," egged the White Rabbit, "Everyone knows about that carrot obsession of yours."

"I-I don't eat carrots, un!" the March Hare hollered, "I eat carrot dishes!"

"Which are _made from carrots,_ you dolt!" the other rabbit man shot back.

"Yeah, but rabbits only eat _**raw carrots**_, dumb ass!"

_'Can you believe this?' _Naruto whined, _'This has got to be the dumbest argument EVER! Guess I'll have to go back to Sasori's by myself since they're not paying attention to me anymore.'_

As the boy was about to sneak off one of the card soldiers from the castle burst through the brush. "There you are!" he called drawing Kakashi's attention, "Her majesty demands your presence, Minister Hatake."

"Hey! You're that soldier guy from the castle maze!" Naruto piped.

"T-That is correct, sir," the faceless man sputtered in utter shock, "I'm amazed you would remember my number."

"Number?" parroted the boy. He then noticed a small '5' embroidered on the front of the soldier's uniform above five embroidered hearts. "Oh. But I really didn't remember that," he continued, "I remembered your face. Sure all the servants look the same here, but if ya look closer, there're tiny differences."

"I'm honored that you would go through the trouble of telling us apart, sir," the soldier replied, blushing slightly.

A bullet landed at the soldier's face. Kakashi stood there glaring at the faceless man for interrupting his time with the shortest of the blonds. "You'd probably get angry with me if I shot this soldier, wouldn't you Naru-chan? We can't have that, so I won't. For now. Might as well return to the castle; I've seen my Naru-chan after all."

The silver haired rabbit man smiled and blew the boy a kiss before striding past the soldier and heading back to the castle. The faceless card turned and bowed deeply with a smile then followed the Prime Minister.

"Wow you can tell the servants apart, un!" Deidara chirped after letting out a whistle.

"What's so amazing about that? It's not that hard," Naruto replied as they resumed their walk towards the Clock Tower.

"Well, that's not all, un. I've never seen that nutty rabbit get so happy before, it's really weird, un. You two must be good friends, un."

"N-No way!" sputtered the shorter blond, "I can't stand that pervy rabbit!"

"Yeah, I guess ya did say you hated him, un," the March Hare said, rubbing the back of h is head sheepishly. "So how about if I killed him for ya next time I see him, hmm? I hate him just as much. First I'll go for both arms so he won't shoot back then I'll…"

"S-Stop! I can't stand that kind of talk!" Naruto yelled. _'Why can't they be so violent?'_

"Aw, don't get mad, un," Deidara pleaded, "I'll do it where you won't have to watch, un!"

"That's not what I meant!" the blond chided.

"I'm back, your majesty," Kakashi crowed as he all but skipped into the audience room.

The pink haired girl was slouching slightly on the throne, her head supported by one arm as it leant on the armrest. "Hatake," she scolded, "Not only are you late, you have a most idiotic grin on your face."

"Do I?" the silver haired rabbit man queried, "I suppose it's a result from seeing Naru-chan. He makes me want to do the weirdest things."

_'Naru-kun…'_ Sai mused.

"How interesting," the Queen of Hearts, murmured, "that an outsider could be able to change Our Prime Minister so."

_'It looks like there's more to you than I first thought,'_ the Knight of Hearts pondered.

At the Hatter's…

"Oi, Ita!" Deidara called, having just returned. "Naru-kun's back at the Clock Tower, safe and sound, just like ya wanted, un."

"Hn," the raven haired man replied.

"We did run into Kakashi Hatake though. He's become quite the stalker, following the kid around like that, un." The Hatter stiffened slightly at the mention of the White Rabbit's apparent obsession with the small blond. "But guess what Ita, he said he likes me more than that psycho rabbit, un!"

"Quite the little slut, isn't he?" Itachi snarled, "Throwing his affections around. He's even got you wrapped around his cute little finger."

"E-E-Eh? W-Wait, Itachi!" the March Hare pleaded as the yakuza head stomped off into the mansion, slamming the door to his office closed, "It's not like that," he muttered sadly.

Back with Kakashi & Sakura…

"Hatake, you say you've seen Naruto-kun? Then why did you not bring him to Us? We have not seen him since Our tea party."

"I did not realize you were so interested in Naru-kun, your majesty," Sai piped.

"Actually my queen, Naru-chan isn't here," Kakashi began, "And if he were, I wouldn't share," he muttered under his breath.

"So you abandoned your duties and yet again have no legitimate excuse for Us," glowered the queen.

"Forgive me, your majesty," Kakashi begged, his white furred appendages flattening against his head, "I was so lonely without my Naru-chan that I was unable to perform my duties. I even could not eat a single thing! I _**had**_ to see him! I sought him at the Clock Tower, but alas he wasn't there. Sasori told me he'd gone off to be with that vile Hatter. If I hadn't run into him along the way there, I fear I may have died of heartbreak, your majesty!"

"That has got to be the lamest…" the pink haired girl shouted, "Wait! Did you say Naruto-kun was with the Hatter?"

"Yes, your majesty," replied the Prime Minister, "It appears he invited him to tea."

"Hm… are they close, do you think?" Queen Sakura asked, putting her chin on her hand.

"Well, Itachi did invite someone who wasn't a 'role holder'. So I guess he must like him quite a bit."

"Yes," agreed Sai, "he even tried to seduce Naru-kun."

"WHAT?" hollered Kakashi, "That evil, disgusting…"

"We are most displeased," the Queen of Hearts said, her emerald eyes narrowing dangerously. "We were willing to look the other way with the Mortician and that ridiculous Lee, but We can not forgive that such reprobates would even think of making a move on Naruto-kun! Itachi Uchiha must _**not**_be permitted to get any closer to him! Is that understood?"

"You needed fear, my queen," Kakashi said, the glare on his face mirroring the monarch's, "I would rather die then let that happen." The White Rabbit then whirled on his heel and strode out of the audience room, Sai following him.

"I must say that was rather odd," the shorter brunet said, smiling cheesily, "Sakura-sama gave an order that had nothing to do with beheading. I never believed such a day would come."

"True," Kakashi said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. _'Why is he following me?'_ "However, the rules are quite different where Naru-chan is concerned."

"It looks like her majesty is already very fond of him," Sai noted, "But why did she get so angry when you mentioned the Hatters?"

"They're an extremely dangerous bunch," answered the silver haired rabbit man.

"Yes, I suppose they are. But I still don't understand all this fuss. I may like Naru-kun, but there's nothing special about him, is there?"

"Sai, I'll let that slanderous remark slide as long as you don't interfere with Naru-chan and me. Also, just why are you following me? Your quarters are in that direction," he griped, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Oh? I thought it was this way," replied the directionally challenged knight.

Kakashi took a deep breath and counted to ten before responding. "No it isn't. This is **my** room. Now run along!" He then spun the shorter teen around and gave him a hard push.

Naruto stood nervously as he watched the clock fixer take a sip of the coffee. "H-How is it?" he asked, clutching the tea tray to his chest.

"I'd give it a C," the taller redhead replied.

"Man, I can't even make coffee right!" wailed the blond, "Why is the only thing I'm good at is making instant ramen?"

"It's not awful," Sasori said, "Just too strong. You must have made a mistake grounding the beans. Next time, don't pulverize them. I know you're the type who overdoes things 'cause of some need to prove yourself."

"Hey! Don't ya try to figure me out through the coffee beans!" the blond griped, "And 'sides I didn't grind 'em into powder this time. You're such a fuss budget."

"I am not a fuss budget," the clock fixer protested, "I'm accurate, and it's because of that that I can tell you're getting better at it."

"Really?" beamed the shorter blond.

"Yes, I am looking forward to trying your next attempt," the taller teen answered, giving Naruto a rare smile.

"Thanks!" he crowed, returning the smile with one of his own, "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask ya, Sasori. How about letting me help ya with those clocks? I really feel bad about freeloading off of you like this. Anyway, you're always working. I don't even think you're sleeping much, are ya? If I help ya, the load won't be so much and you can get more rest."

Sasori blanched at the boy's request. His line of work wasn't suited for one as innocent and pure as the blond. "I don't need help," the redhead replied coldly.

"B-But…" begged Naruto, "You don't have to pay me. I'll work for free!"

The clock fixer let out a sigh. "Payment isn't the issue here," he replied gently, "It's just that I have no desire to see you get tainted. So do **not** touch any of the clocks I receive."

"Get tainted? Ya mean with oil grease or something?"

"No. Now that's enough of the subject," Sasori said with a tone that left no room for further discussion and went back to the clock he'd been working on currently.

A few hours later, there was a knocking at Sasori's workshop door. Naruto was about to get up and answer it since the clock fixer wasn't about to move from his desk, when the door burst open and a green spandex clad person bounded into the room. "Sasori, my friend!" beamed Lee, carrying a jug of sake, "It has been too long since we've shared a drink together!"

"Hey Lee!" greeted the blond.

"Hello, Naruto, my youthful friend! All is well with you I trust?"

"Did one of your employees' clocks break again? Is that why you're here?" the redhead asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance at the other's loud interruption.

"Always thinking of work," Lee said frowning slightly, "No my friend, I am merely here for a personal visit. Oh yes, I also have a gift for our most youthful outsider friend." The amusement park owner placed the sake down on the tea table before reaching into a hidden pocket on his spandex jumpsuit. "Here you go," he said, producing a slip of paper and handing it to the shortest of the three teens, "A free pass to my most youthful park. I do hope you use it well, my youthful friend."

"Thanks," Naruto beamed, carefully putting it into his own pocket.

"Oh!" Lee cried, "I almost forgot! The sake is for you, Sasori my friend. It is a most youthful vintage and I thought it'd be a waste if I didn't share with friends."

Sasori rolled his eyes and sighed, putting the clock down. A few minutes later, the three were sitting at the tea table. A few tea sandwiches had been placed out in the middle and the two Wonderland natives had tiny cups of sake set out in front of them while the blond had a glass of milk. "I hope you appreciate this Lee," Sasori griped, "You know how I don't like drinking during working hours."

"Oh I do, my friend," the caterpillar browed boy replied, a small frown appearing on his face, "However, it is most un-youthful of you to be so stiff. You certainly could do with a break every now and then and let your youthful passions to burn within your soul. It concerns me greatly that you would shut yourself in like this."

"He's got a point, Sasori," agreed Naruto, "If you keep this up, you're gonna get sick."

"Yes! My thoughts exactly! Even one as youthful as Naruto-san here can see it is not good."

"Stop butting in on my business," snapped the redhead. "You should concern yourself with your own."

"But I can't do that!" Lee pressed, "I just can not abandon a friend who has lost his youthfulness like this. And anyway, I truly do care for you my friend, out of all of us here, it is only you who does not make a fuss over my most un-youthful name."

"As if I would follow in their footsteps over something so trivial," Sasori replied, sipping the rice wine.

"Yesh! Thatsh my youthful Shashori," Lee beamed after taking a sip of his own, his words starting to slur after just one taste of the strong liquid, "Itsh a shame no one followsh your exshample."

_'I'm glad to see Sasori's got a friend,'_ the blond noted, _'Even if it's a guy with freaky brows like Lee.'_

"Sasori?" Naruto asked when he saw the redhead stiffen slightly and put down his sake.

"Excuse, but I have a guest," the clock fixer replied getting up. The blond was about to say that he hadn't heard a knock, but Lee interrupted him.

"There you go again," the park owner complained, "thinking of work. You are mosht driven, my friend."

"You're tellin' me!" Naruto agreed.

"Naruto-shan," Lee slurred, "It shurprishesh me that Shashori would allow you to remain here with him. He ish my mosht un-youthful friend, sho I know him well. In all thish time I have not even once known him to be anything other than cold toward people."

"Yeah I know," the blond agreed, remembering the clock fixer's praise, "Still he hasn't told me to leave either. Sure he's not the friendliest, but he's a good guy deep down."

"Well done," Sasori said as an after image dropped a clock into the Tower master's hands, "Leave the rest to me, I'll have someone go out and take care of them."

Heart Castle…

"I would be nice to finally sleep in a real bed," Sai said as he opened the door to his room, which took him hours to locate after his little run in with Kakahi. A slight frown appeared on his usually smiling face when he spied the shadow figures standing inside.

"So I have another mission," he said solemnly, "You needn't worry I shall head over to the Clock Tower at once."

Back at Sasori's…

"Hey how'd it go?" Naruto asked as the redhead returned to his desk. Lee staggered out of his seat and started for the door. "Ya leaving Lee?"

"Yesh," he slurred, "It would besht if I headed home now. I have taken enough of Shashori'sh time. I look forward to sheeing you at the park, my friend. You ash well Naruto-shan. It would be mosht un-youthful if you did not obey your youthful pashionsh and enjoy yourshelvesh with our ridesh and gamesh."

"Finally," grumbled the redhead once Lee was truly gone, "I can get some work done."

"So… um did ya get another repair job?" Naruto asked.

"You could say that," Sasori answered, putting his glasses back on, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't disturb me. It's a big job and it will probably take some time to complete, even if I did call for Sai and you know how he is."

"I can go get him for you!" the shorter teen piped, eager to lend a hand in spite of Sasori's earlier denial. "I know you're busy and this is big, so it'll go quicker if Sai gets here sooner, right?"

"You needn't trouble yourself, Naruto."

"Look, Sasori," the blond said, leaning against the desk, his hands on the almost completely covered surface, "you won't let me help you with the repairs so just let me do this for ya," he begged. "I told you it makes me feel bad for freeloading off of ya. If ya can't find something for me to do that'll help, then I'll just have to find somewhere else to stay. 'Course if I did that, then everyone else will think ya kicked me out, ne?"

"You're one pushy brat," quipped the clock fixer, sighing, "Fine do what you want. Go fetch Sai. Just be careful alright?"

"Sure! I'll be back with Sai in a flash, believe it!"

Naruto inched his way along the wall of Heart Castle's hedge maze trying to keep out of sight while on his search for the raven haired knight. _'Why did I volunteer to get Sai?'_ the blond grumbled, _'I totally forgot that pervy rabbit lives here too. Please, please, please, please don't let me run into Kakashi!'_ he prayed. However, it appeared that whatever deities watched over Wonderland were just as twisted as the ones back at home.

"Why hello there, Naru-chan!" Kakashi beamed, "I'm so happy that you missed me so much that you rushed right over to see me."

"The heck I did!" shouted the boy, sidestepping out of the way before he got another bout of glomping from the over-amorous rabbit man. "I'm here for Sai." _'Oops, I better not say anything 'bout him working with Sasori. I don't think Sasori'd like that.'_

"Sai?" Kakashi queried, frowning, "First that yakuza rabbit and now Sai. Who knew you were so loose, Naru-chan? I've also been told that you've been spending time with Itachi Uchiha as well. Can't you see that he's no good for you? Such an affair would be the end of you!"

"First of all, I. AM. NOT. HAVING. AN. AFFAIR. WITH. ANYONE!" bellowed Naruto, "And second, if I was, it'd be _**NONE**_ of your damn business ya crazy stalker pervy rabbit! You don't have any right to judge or tell me what to do!"

"None of my business you say?" the silver haired man scolded. He then grabbed the boy's wrists and pinned them against the hedge and above his head, "Of course it is my business. Now hurry up and say you love me, I don't think I'd be able to take much of your constant teasing, Naru-chan."

_'Oh no!' _moaned the shorter blond, _'H-He's gonna…not again!'_ Naruto gulped and shut his eyes as tight as he could, not wanting to watch as the rabbit man forced another kiss on him.

"What's going on, Kakashi?" someone asked from the archway near by, making the White Rabbit release the boy.

"S-Sai!" Naruto stammered in relief.

"I'm not interrupting am I?" the Knight of Hearts asked, smiling.

"Y-Yes," the blond replied, "But it's a good thing. I was looking for ya."

"What a coincidence," the taller teen chirped, "I was just thinking of going to see you, Naru-kun."

"Explain yourself, Sai," scowled Kakashi, "I do believe you said you weren't in love with my Naru-chan."

"Yes, I did say that, didn't I?" Sai answered, still smiling that ridiculous fake smile.

"Then why are you interfering with our relationship?"

"I may not love him, but that doesn't change the fact that I find Naru-kun interesting," the knight replied, placing an arm around the blond's waist, "So I suggest you get used to sharing for now, Kakashi-san."

"I suggest," the taller man echoed, his visible eye narrowing dangerously, "that you stop touching my Naru-chan with those filthy hands."

"I did not realize my hands were still dirty," Sai quipped, "I did wash them though."

"Well they are," Kakashi shot back, "They're covered with germs and untruths, just like the rest of you. Do _**not**_ go near my Naru-chan again."

"Now, Kakashi-san, you know I was never good at letting things go."

"Yes, I know. You really shouldn't have tried to pursue him further; you're only making things worse. You won't give up on Naru-chan?" The silver haired rabbit brought out his oversized pocket watch and it started to glow angrily, mimicking its master's mood, "Fine with me. You've just given me a reason to make you disappear," he said, aiming his pistol.

~TBC~

Sakura: Dum..dum..dum! Ooo what an intense cliffy! Will Sai make it out unscathed? Will Naru-chan for that matter? Well, send me reviews and I just might be persuaded enough to post the next part faster. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 5

"You won't give up on Naru-chan?" The silver haired rabbit brought out his oversized pocket watch and it started to glow angrily, mimicking its master's mood, "Fine with me. You've just given me a reason to make you disappear," he said, aiming his pistol.

"Oh dear," the Knight of Hearts said rather nonchalantly, "it looks I've made Kakashi-san angry. Kowai! (scary!)" The raven haired teen pulled Naruto close to him, putting the blond between him and the White Rabbit. "You know how stubborn we both are Kakashi-san," he said clutching the boy tightly, while drawing his sword, "and besides, I have a rather nasty habit of using force to get what I want."

The tension continued to increase as the two stared each other down. "Not going to shoot?" the knight egged.

"Not when you're using Naru-chan as a shield," said the rather uffish rabbit man.

"You've found me out," beamed Sai.

"Not funny," snapped Kakashi.

"Get your paws off me you grabby jerk!" Naruto shouted, shoving the slightly taller teen's arm away. "There's no way you're gonna use me as a shield!"

"You heard him you scum, back away from Naru-chan!" The raven haired teen refused to obey the older man, instead continued to smile that cheesy smile of his. There was a loud bang as Kakashi's gun went off.

"Sai!" the blond cried, fearing for the knight's safety. Yes, he was furious at him for planning to use him as a shield, but that didn't mean he wanted him dead.

"I'd better be careful," Sai said, holding his sword across his chest, the bullet lodged in the metal. "Kakashi-san's getting frumious." He then shoved the blond behind him. Sai then lunged at the rabbit man and slashed at him with the sword. Snicker-snack it went and the White Rabbit hopped out of the way before the deadly metal stick got any closer. "I can't believe there'd be anyone you'd refuse to shoot, Kakashi-san," jeered the teen, "You've gotten soft."

"Unlike you," snarled the silver haired rabbit man, "My intentions toward the boy are honorable."

"Even so," retorted the Knight of Hearts, "it's hard for me to back off when I find something that intrigues me. It is you who needs to stay from Naru-kun, it's obvious you two aren't lovers."

"I'm the one who wants to make him happy," Kakashi said, glaring at him.

"Well, if _I_ make Naru-kun happy, you'll stop shooting me then?"

"As if you'd ever manage that," huffed the White Rabbit uffishly. "I'm not going to leave Naru-chan with one such as you!"

"Go ahead and try to stop me then." Sai started to lunge at Kakashi again.

"STOP SAI!" Naruto pleaded. "That's enough already! You've gotta come with me!"

"But Naru-kun, I read that it's rather romantic to have two people fighting over another. Don't you find it to be so?"

"Are ya nuts? I don't like having you guys fighting over me!"

"If you want to stay alive," drawled the tallest of the three, "You'd better start paying attention." The White Rabbit's gun went off again. As with before, Sai's lightning quick reflexes allowed him dodge off toward the side, the deadly bit of metal crashing into the hedge wall behind them.

"Will ya two quit it already?" demanded the blond, "Sasori sent me to get ya!"

"Oh," the raven haired teen said, pausing in mid slash, "Why didn't you say so Naru-kun? So that's why you were here."

_'Great. Some secret keeper I am,'_ the blond grumbled, feeling very sheepish at the moment, _'Now that pery stalker rabbit knows about Sai and Sasori.'_

"Sasori Akasuna?" Kakashi parroted, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes, well it appears that Sasori-san wants me to help him with something," Sai said sheathing his sword, all the while smiling his patented smile.

"It doesn't matter to me who you choose to mingle with or where you go. But if it concerns or involves, Naru-chan, I will kill you." The rabbit man's finger began to squeeze the pistol's trigger.

"Don't you dare!" commanded Naruto, placing himself in front of the knight and protecting him much like he did the card soldier during his first trip to the castle. "You kill the teme right now, and I'll stop talking to you! EVER! Believe it!"

"B-But Naru-chan!" the rabbit man pleaded.

"I mean it Kakashi! Put that gun, pocket watch or whatever it is away!" The White Rabbit looked completely and utterly shocked at the irate blond, his long ears drooping slightly. He reluctantly turned his pistol back into a pocket watch and shoved it back into its pocket. "We're leaving Sai!" Naruto huffed and started dragging the slightly taller teen away before either of them started fighting again.

"Just talking to that stupid pery stalker rabbit makes me tired!" the blond griped when they were finally in the Tulgey Wood. "And every time I do, it just doesn't get any easier!"

"Not easy?" echoed Sai in genuine awe, "You were able to stop him with just one sentence. How can that not be easy? Not even her majesty can get him to obey her commands."

"Yea, I guess. But all I did was, threaten him with not talking to him."

"He may not look it, but Kakashi-san's rather romantic in his own way. He's determined and frank so he doesn't bother himself with a lot of moral ambiguity. In way I rather envy him for that."

_'Sai…he's got that freaky look in his eyes like when he showed up at Sasori's. What are you thinking Sai? What's up to make you look like that?'_ the blond wondered.

"Man, I can't believe we wasted all that time!" Naruto complained, "I told Sasori I'd bring ya back in a flash and now we're so late!"

"Oh that's no problem," chirped Sai, the strange look gone from his dark eyes in an instant, "I happen to know a short cut."

"Really?" Naruto beamed.

"Yes. Allow me to lead the way."

"It would seem that we're lost," Sai crowed as if he'd accomplished a rather difficult task.

_'Arrgh!' _Naruto screamed inwardly, _'I was so freaked out from that fight at the castle, that I totally forgot about Sai's total lack of direction sense! And now it's night time! Why the hell did I let him do this to me?'_

"I better set this up," the Knight of Hearts said cheerfully as he began pitching up a tent that he seemingly brought out of nowhere. "You must be tired from all that walking, Naru-chan."

"W-W-W-What?" sputtered the blond, totally flabbergasted now. "Why do you have a tent?"

"This?" replied the knight as if they were discussing nothing but the weather, "I never leave without it."

"Can't we just keep looking for the tower? I know it's night and all but…"

"We can do that if you like," Sai interrupted, smiling that smile again. "Though, I am rather tired. And we'll have to do with the wild animals that like to come out at night."

"W-What kind of animals?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Let's see, there's the Jubjub birds and I've heard rumors of a frumious bandersnatch roaming about. Oh yes, and there's a few snarks as well." None of them were sounding any good to Naruto even if he didn't know what the heck they were.

"O-O-On second thought, I'll take the tent!" he stammered dashing over to help the knight.

"If you say so, Naru-kun," Sai beamed.

"This'll help you to sleep," chirped Sai, handing the shorter blond a steaming mug of tea.

"Thanks," said blond replied gratefully, "So um, do ya always camp out when ya get lost like this?"

"Yes, it happens quite a lot actually," the other boy answered cheerfully, "I think it's rather fun, don't you? I find traveling fascinating so that's why I do it."

"That's not traveling!" scolded Naruto, "You're just plain lost!"

"You know," Sai started, "I've been wondering why you're not so worried, Naru-kun."

"Worried?" the shorter of the two parroted.

"Yes, doesn't bother you that you're stuck here with someone who's rather interested in you?"

_'Now that he's mentioned it, this tent is kinda cramped,'_ Naruto noted. In spite the two teens being able to stand up straight in the tent, there wasn't much room to move about or for both of them to sleep comfortably. _'And Sai's kinda iffy – not that anyone here isn't – so…Ok now I'm worried!'_

The blond blushed profusely as the slightly taller teen started removing his clothes. "Going to watch me, Naru-kun?" he asked teasingly as he folded his red jacket, causing the blond's blush to increase.

"Hey!" Naruto snapped, "You're the one who's acting like I'm not here! I'm not the type of guy who likes to check out other guys!"

"Oh? Is that so? I wouldn't mind if you did 'check me out', Naru-kun. But I was only taking my jacket off."

"Well make sure that's the only thing that comes off!" shot the shorter boy, "or else I'm leaving, animals or no animals! Believe it!"

"You're worried aren't you?" Sai queried, smiling. "If I did take off more than just my jacket, would you be able to leave I wonder. Did you think I'd try to stop you?" he mused, grabbing the boy's wrist.

"Let go, Sai!"

"Or if I don't want you to leave me? Who knows, I could be in love with you, Naru-kun." He leaned in closer to Naruto, their faces mere inches away.

"Y-You don't!"

"Hm?"

"You don't love me!" Naruto said, shoving the taller teen back. He then quick grabbed a pillow and clutched it to him as if it could serve as a makeshift shield of sorts.

"Of course I love you, Naru-kun."

"Yeah right! If ya did love me, you wouldn't try to use me as target practice for that pervy rabbit!"

"You got me there," the Knight of Hearts replied, backing off finally, "You're so lucky Naru-kun. I wish I were an outsider like you."

"Why do you say that Sai? What's the big deal with being an outsider anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sai asked, snatching the pillow away, "How can you not get it when the answer is right under your nose?" He then sprung forward and knocked the blond back onto one of the sleeping bags. The brunet's head was lying on Naruto's chest, exactly over his heart.

"S-S-S-Sai!" the blond stammered, blushing once more, "What do ya think you're doing? Get off!" He struggled to get lose but the other teen had him in a vise like grip.

"I envy you, Naru-kun," he said enjoying the increased beating of the blond's heart, "because of this sound."

"W-W-W-W-What the heck do ya mean? It's just a heartbeat!"

"Exactly," the knight replied, getting off of the boy, but not letting him go. "I want you to listen to what's in here." He carefully cupped the back of Naruto's head and pressed it against his own chest.

Naruto had no choice but to listen to the other's heart since Sai still wasn't going to let go.

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

TICK TOCK

Sapphire orbs widened in shock. "T-That's your heart?" Naruto stammered.

The Knight of Hearts didn't answer right away, an unreadable expression on his face. "We of this world can't change, no matter how we may want to," he began solemnly, "But you have a sound within you that isn't to be found anywhere in Wonderland. It makes me want to hope that I **could **change if I stayed with you, Naru-kun. Maybe my love for you isn't the kind you were thinking of right now, but I do love you, Naru-kun."

_'Sai…'_

"It's time for bed I think," the brunet announced in a more cheery tone and yawning, "You can have the other bag," he said, lying down. "Oyasumi nasai (Good night), Naru-kun."

The blond lay down on the other sleeping bag, but sleep refused to come as quickly as it did for the other teen. _'That sound I heard coming from Sai was a clock wasn't it?'_ he pondered, _'If people in this messed up world have clocks for hearts, then Sasori's…'_ He shivered at that thought. _'So that's what he meant about not wanting me to get tainted.'_

"Hmph! About time," Sasori spat as a strangely silent Naruto entered the Clock Tower with a smiling Sai. "I knew it was a waste to send you. You didn't save me anytime at all."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Sasori-san," Sai replied, not fazed by the redhead's foul mood.

"Just get to work already," he snapped.

"Hai, hai," the knight said, grabbing his tattered cape and mask from the tallest of the three. "Later, Naru-kun."

"What?" Sasori asked, noticing Naruto wasn't about to stop staring at him any time soon. "You've got something to say obviously so out with it already. You know I don't like waiting."

"I heard Sai's heartbeat," the blond replied seriously, "and it sounded like a clock. You fix clocks so…"

Sasori said nothing, instead turned his head away. He couldn't bear to look at the blond he'd come to care for. His job was the loneliest and most despised in all of Wonderland. Now that Naruto had learnt the truth, he was certain the blond would want nothing to do with him ever again, like all the others. Sai was the only one who not only tolerated the redhead, but was willing to help with certain parts of his occupation.

"Say something damn it!" the shorter boy demanded.

"You don't have to be so angry," scolded Sasori, "but you do deserve to have your question answered. Yes we have clocks for hearts and it is my job to fix those hearts. You remember the after images you saw, right?"

"Yeah." Naruto shivered, those things seriously creeped him out. "They look like ghosts. I **don't **like ghosts."

"They're not ghosts," Sasori began, "They help me with my work, like Sai. They are what is left of those who die in this world. They are just waiting for their turn to be brought back to life."

"So you…"

"Yes, I repair the clocks Sai and the after images retrieve them for me," Sasori replied, "Those are lives I handle each and every day. One who deals with the repair of clocks is more commonly known as a Mortician."

"Mortician?" the blond echoed.

"You must be disgusted to know you've been sharing a roof with such a person, Naruto. Why did you think I lived alone or have such few visitors? The majority of the population here despises my work."

"Yeah, I have to admit your job's kinda creepy," Naruto said, "but I don't hate ya Sasori. You're the only one who can do it, right? So no one's got the right to judge ya like that. It's not your fault it's gotta be you who does it, right?"

"Brave words, Naruto," jeered the taller redhead, "but deep down you're scared and filled with disgust just like all the others aren't you?"

The blond had wanted to deny that, but the Mortician's harsh words did have a ring of truth to them. Despite knowing that the older teen was truly a kind and gentle person, Naruto couldn't get rid of the horror he felt whenever he began to think about all those clocks he'd watch Sasori work so diligently on. Unable to bear the guilt and shame he was currently feeling, Naruto whirled on his heels and dashed from the Clock Tower, the door slamming in his wake.

"Ch," Sasori muttered, before turning and heading back to his workshop.

_'It's not that I'm scared of him,'_ Naruto thought as he stood against a tree, huffing and panting, _'I'm not even that freaked out that everyone here has a clock for a heart. But to really, really hear one of those hearts is really creepy. And those after image thingies aren't exactly any less creepy either.'_

The blond was about to head back to the Tower and apologize to Sasori for running out on him like that when he spied a familiar gate. _'That's the Hatters place! I really should start paying attention to where I run off too,'_ he chided. _'Might as well pay Itachi a visit since I'm here. He did say I could come back.'_

"Well, if it isn't Naru-kun, un!" the March Hare called approaching the gate.

"Hey, Deidara!" greeted the blond in return.

"Let me guess, un," piped the blond rabbit man, "Ya wanna check out Ita's books, ne? See I remembered, un! I'll take ya to him!" Before the shorter blond could get a word in edgewise, the taller one immediately ushered him past the gate and into the large building. "You're just in time too, un," Deidara continued, "Ita's finally done with work for now so he should be in his room, un."

The two walked down the many tastefully decorated halls in comfortable silence for a few moments. The March Hare's cheerfulness soothing the boy's previously frazzled nerves. "Ya know Naru-kun," Deidara said, breaking the silence, "if ya live here with us, you could read those books all the time, un."

"Yeah," replied Naruto, "but I'm still gonna stay at Sasori's. It's kinda comfy over there."

"Comfy?" the taller blond parroted in disbelief, "The Mortitcian's place, un? I just don't get ya sometimes un! How can ya say stuff like that about a guy who had me locked up once, hmm?"

"What do you mean locked up? There's no way Sasori would do something like that!"

"It weren't him, un," spat the rabbit man, "It was that sneaky henchman of his, un! If ya see a guy in a cape and mask, run as far as you can, un. He's pretty strong."

'_I bet the look on his face'd be pretty hilarious if he ever found out that was Sai,'_ Naruto mused mischievously.

"Well you are in the yakuza, right Dei-dei?" the shorter blond asked, "So maybe it's Sasori's job to act like the police or something."

"Hmph. I guess it was something like that," huffed the March Hare, "I did commit a real serious crime, un."

"W-What did ya do?" Naruto pressed nervously.

"I had a friend who died, un," the rabbit man replied, all cheerfulness pushed aside, "I made sure he'd stay dead."

"Eh?"

"When my pal turned into a clock right in front of me, I blew it up good, un. No one could repair it, not even that clock fixer of yours, un. But it's what he would have wanted. But people here are real testy if ya totally destroy a clock, so I got thrown in jail, un." Naruto didn't know what to say to that. "Sure people can come back if their clocks get fixed, un. But when they do, it's as someone different. A whole new person, un."

'_That must be why Sasori said most people here hated him,'_ Naruto pondered.

"Stay here with us, un!" pleaded Deidara, "You don't have to stay with a guy like that Mortician, un!"

Naruto was about decline again when one of the servants came over to them. "Pardon me, sir," the faceless man interjected, "But the boss wants you to fill out this paperwork and file it."

The March Hare groaned. "Fine fork it over, un!" he spat grabbing the stack of paper from the servant.

"We have paperwork for you as well, sir," more servants called. Turning around, the shorter blond couldn't believe his eyes. Before them stood what appeared to be an army of faceless servants, each one bearing a thick stack of paper.

"Yeah, yeah," Deidara grumbled, "Just let me finish escorting Naru-kun, un! Man, this always happens when I get home, un! Lazy ass, Uchiha," he moaned, adding the last part under his breath.

"I'm sorry for bothering ya, Dei-dei," the boy apologized, as the taller rabbit man continued to lead him down the halls, "I didn't know you were busy."

"Nah, it's okay, kiddo," he replied, "I may complain 'bout him being so lazy, but Ita's my hero so I do his paperwork anyway, un."

"How the heck could a yakuza boss be anyone's hero?" the shorter of the two asked incredulously.

"It was that tricky bastard who sprung me outta that jail, un," was the March Hare's answer. "Me 'n' him have a deal, ya know. I do his paperwork or whatever he don't feel like doin', un. And he'll be the one to make sure I don't come back when I die, un. You'd do anything for a guy who's got your back like that, un."

'_That's one weird friendship,'_ the boy silently quipped, _'But I guess I can't blame him. I don't think I'd want to come back as someone else either. I may not be the smartest bunch in my family or the most popular guy back home, but I like who I am.'_

"Oi, Ita!" Deidara called as he pushed open a set of heavy double doors. Inside were bookshelves that reached the ceiling on two of the walls, opposite each other. Near the far wall that had a few more bookshelves stood a heavy looking desk. A rather comfy looking couch of red velvet and black feet stood a few feet in front of one of the ceiling high bookshelves. A pair of matching overstuffed chairs sat opposite the couch across from a large carved coffee table. The room looked like it was a nice place to curl up and read a few books in.

"Hmm. I was sure Ita'd be in here," Deidara remarked.

"Pardon me, sir," another faceless servant started upon spying them in the Hatter's private study. "But you're needed for negotiations at the amusement park. Mr. Uchiha told me to tell you as soon as you got back from patrol."

"Gotcha, un," the taller of the blonds grumbled, "Anyway, do you know where the boss is, hmm?"

"I do believe I saw him heading out back, but…" the servant started.

"Good, take Naru-kun to him will ya, un?"

"N-No need to go through all this trouble," Naruto stammered, "I can go by myself, 'sides I'd uh… kinda like to look around."

"You sure, un?" the rabbit man queried. The boy nodded. "Ok, just don't touch anything, ok? Ita's really touchy when it comes to his stuff, un."

"Thanks Dei-dei," chirped Naruto, "it's really nice of ya to help me out like this when you're so busy."

"No problem, kiddo," replied the March Hare, "Well, I'd better get over to Lee's. See ya around Naru-kun, un!"

After nosing around the enormous mansion, the boy finally made his way to the rear yard where he had the tea party the last time he was there. _'This place sure is huuuuuuuuuuge!' _he mused in awe, _'Wonder where Itachi is. Tho' I'm not in such a hurry to find him actually. I mean, I barely know the guy so what could I say to him, especially after what Dei-dei told me.'_

As he wandered aimlessly about, Naruto found himself amongst a rather large garden that consisted primarily of roses. _'Who knew a yakuza boss would keep roses?'_ he mused, stopping to admire a few of the blooms. Movement from the corner of his eye caught the blond's attention and he turned to see what it was.

Off in the distance, the head of the Hatter yakuza was strolling through the rose bushes. It appeared to the boy that he was moving as if he had some kind of important purpose. Curious, Naruto silently followed the man, grateful for once that he was so short that the bushes hid him from the taller man's sight.

Itachi stopped a minute or so later and greeted a figure standing at one of the far paths. Naruto watched as he handed whoever it was the reddest rose the boy had ever seen. He inched closer for a good look and quickly swallowed the gasp that almost escaped his lips.

'_That's Queen Sakura!'_ he silently shouted in complete disbelief, _'What's she doing here? And why's Itachi smiling like that?'_ Indeed the yakuza head had the most genuine of smiles on his handsome face. It was nowhere near like the sly and crafty ones he gave the blond the few times they were together, _'I thought they were enemies!' _The Queen of Hearts' smile mirrored the Hatter's as she accepted the rose and brought it to her nose. Itachi was still smiling as she allowed him to escort her further into the distance.

~TBC~

Sakura: Ooooo looks like someone's got a secret love affair going on!

Naru: Itaaaaaaaaa! How could you do that to me?

Sakura: There, there Naru-chan I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for this. Right Ita? -_^

Ita: Hn.


	6. Chapter 6

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 6

After witnessing such a scandalous sight, Naruto thought it best to head back to Sasori's but not before wishing Deidara goodbye before the March Hare had left for the amusement park. _'What was all that about?'_ he wondered, the image of a certain pink haired girl and yakuza boss together playing over and over in his mind. _'It was like something out of those cheesy chick flicks Ino-nee-chan's always draggin' me to see.'_ As he thought of his older sister, a sharp pang stabbed through his heart as the memory of her laughing and talking to a certain dark haired, dark haired man arose unbidden to the forefront of his mind.

The blond shook his head furiously as if that would cause the memory to disperse. He started on his way again and came upon a park bench. _'That's odd,'_ he thought, _'I don't remember any benches on the way to Sasori's.'_

Naruto was about to shrug it off as being one of the many weird and insane things that populated Wonderland when he caught a familiar shade of red lying on the white wood of the bench. Cerulean depths widened in shock upon spying a badly injured Cheshire Cat sprawled along the length of the bench. "Gaara?" he called, fearing for the cat boy's well being.

"Hello Naruto," the redhead replied, grinning in spite all the blood covering him.

"What the hell happened Gaara?" fussed the smaller blond, "Do you need to go to the hospital or something? You look really bad!"

"I was a bit careless," the Cheshire Cat answered, "I usually don't get hurt this bad when I'm playing around."

"You gotta go get those looked at!" Naruto scolded, "Y-You're covered in blood!"

The slightly taller redhead gave a wry smile. "It's ok," he reassured, "We're near the amusement park. I should be ok if I can get to my room there."

Naruto looked as if he were about to protest again, but then again he didn't know if they even had hospital's in Wonderland so said nothing. He carefully and gingerly as possible helped the injured cat boy off the bench and the two slowly made their way to Lee's park.

The blond looked around the modestly furnished room. A simple bed stood at the far wall while a few shelves hung off to the left of it. A tall wardrobe joined the bed to stand against the wall at its right. A banner bearing a cat's skull and crossbones hung above the bed, fastened to the wall with a few tacks. Along the right wall stood several cases containing various sized guns; some were even in cases that hung on the wall above.

"Will you relax?" Gaara asked as he unhooked his collar and removed it along with the cropped top. He threw the ruined fabric to the floor, knowing one of the park attendants would probably take care of it. "I'm alright, Naruto," he added before holding one hand up and started licking at the cut on top of his wrist. "If I lick them, my wounds will heal."

"T-T-That's unsanitary!" chided the blond, carrying the unused First Aid kit he'd found in the adjoining bathroom. "They'll get worse if you do that! Now sit down!" When Gaara made no move to obey, Naruto grabbed hold of the Cheshire Cat's arm and dragged him over to the bed.

"That hurt," hissed Gaara, his tail lashing back and forth.

"Sorry," apologized the boy, "But that's what you get for being stubborn." He then proceeded to tend to the cat boy's wounds. True to his feline nature, Gaara put up quite the fight, squirming, hissing and yowling whenever the disinfectant was applied to the many cuts and scratches littering his arms and chest. When Naruto had finished, the Cheshire Cat looked like a partially mummified cat with all the bandages covering him, one even hiding one aquamarine orb from sight.

"I'm really worried about you, Gaara," Naruto said sternly, after returning the kit back to where he found it.

"You are?" the cat boy asked, blinking confusedly. No one had ever really told him they cared about him, not even Lee, though the park owner was being exceedingly kind by letting him live there with him. Then again citizens of Wonderland didn't need to worry for each other, not when they could all be easily replaced.

"I really think you should go to the hospital," the blond pouted, "I don't think what I did will help much."

"You're incredible, Naruto," the redhead said smiling, a soft purr reverberating from his throat. "Arigatou," he said again, still purring and licking the blond's cheek all the while rubbing up against the shorter boy.

"Y-Y-You're welcome," Naruto replied, blushing profusely while fighting the urge to scratch behind Gaara's ears.

"It was a good thing, Lee was not here to see this," the Cheshire Cat said, purring as Naruto lost the battle and petted one sand colored ear.

"Yeah," the blond said, smiling letting the soft rumble of the cat boy wash over him and make him a bit more relaxed. "I bet he'd totally freak out if he did," he added, laughing.

"Not really," Gaara answered, rubbing his head against the blond, unwittingly begging for more of the gentle touches, "He'd be pissed if he saw me getting blood on his floor."

"That's because you were hurt!"

"No," was the redhead's curt reply, "I've been hurt worse than this. When Lee saw that, all he did was complain about how hard it was to get the bloodstains out."

"W-Wait a sec!" shouted the blond, "You mean this happens all the time? Just what the hell have you been doing when you said you were 'playing around'? No one gets hurt like that from playing!"

"I was snooping around Heart Castle today. I guess I wasn't lucky enough this time," explained Gaara, acting as if it weren't such a serious thing, "I wound up in a fight with some of the soldiers."

"That's not playing!" bellowed the blond, "You could've gotten killed, you dumb cat!"

"Are you worried, I may die one day?" Gaara queried, amazed that someone should get so angry with him over something so trivial as a single life, "Besides, the soldiers aren't such great shots."

"The heck I am!" Naruto shot back.

"What a weird thing to say," the Cheshire Cat parried.

"It's not weird! You're supposed to worry about your friends if they got hurt like that!"

"In your world perhaps," argued Gaara, leaping from the bed and pulling out another cropped top from the dresser that was hiding behind the door, "But this is not your world. All anyone would worry about is the mess getting hurt makes." Naruto couldn't say anything after that. Gaara did have a point. Wonderland was so different from his home nothing there really made sense.

"I'd like to know more about your world," the redhead said after finishing getting dressed. He had sensed the blond's distress and thought a change of subject was in order. "I'm curious." Before he knew what had happened, Naruto found himself in Gaara's lap while the cat boy sat back down on the bed. The shorter teen blushed profusely and gulped at the predatory gleam in the visible teal jewel.

"W-Well, um, people don't have animal ears or tails," stammered Naruto, still blushing as the cat boy nuzzled his sunlit hair, "Though there are the cosplayers," he muttered, shivering slightly as he remembered his dog obsessed friend back home, "they creep me out sometimes."

"I see," Gaara said solemnly and released the blond from the hold he had him in, "You don't like ears and tails then."

"No!" the blond protested, "I mean yeah, your ears and tail are kinda creepy." The Cheshire Cat looked away, visibly hurt by the boy's words, "but that doesn't mean I don't like you Gaara!" he added hastily. A tiny smile appeared on the redhead's face and the purring resumed.

"What else?" Gaara asked, anxious to steer the conversation away from his personal appearance and genuinely curious about the blond's home.

"People don't go around carrying guns and stuff like that," Naruto began.

"No weapons?" the cat boy echoed, incredulously. His gun collection was such a large part of his life, he just couldn't imagine not having them.

"We have them," continued the blond, "but we don't use them all the time. We don't go on errands carrying them like you do here."

"That's odd. Your home is really strange. If you have weapons, you should use them. So I guess you don't use weapons much do you, Naruto?"

"Of course I don't!" spat the shorter teen, "I've never even touched a gun before!"

"You haven't?" If he had them, both of Gaara's eyebrows would have been raised in complete and utter shock at the boy's admission. Gaara then unhooked the chain connecting his collar to his belly piercing once more, this time it glowed and within moments, a gun was in the cat boy's clawed hand. "This one's my favorite," he said with a slight hint of pride coloring his voice. "You can hold it if you'd like."

"N-N-No thanks!" sputtered Naruto, jumping off Gaara's lap.

"You might like it," purred the Cheshire Cat, the predatory gleam back in his eye.

"I-I-I-I said no!" the blond protested, "No means no, Gaara!" He turned to leave, suddenly desperate to get the heck away from the gun happy cat boy.

Once again, Naruto found himself trapped within the redhead's surprisingly strong arms and the gun was being pressed into his hands. "Good boy," Gaara purred, as he forced the blond's hands to close around the handle. "Now hold it out like this," he added, guiding the boy's arms until they were stretched out before him. Naruto gulped when he felt the Cheshire Cat's bandaged chest pressed slightly into his back. "You can shoot it, if you'd like," the redhead whispered into his ear, causing the shorter one to get shivers down his spine at Gaara's suddenly seductive tone.

"I-It's too heavy," said Naruto.

"You'll get used to it," the redhead continued to whisper, "Go ahead I know you want to."

"T-That's not what I meant!" the boy stammered, bringing the gun down, "There's a lot of responsibility when you have a gun! If I did go and shoot, I could hit someone if they just happened to walk by and kill them without meaning to! I'd hate myself forever if that happened!"

Gaara let out a laugh. "Stop thinking so much!" he chortled, "So what if you hit someone's clock? It's not that of a big deal." He then placed a hand over Naruto's heart, "You may not get replaced if your heart breaks, but here it's different. There are lots of replacements. Especially for me."

The blond whirled around and reached behind Gaara, yanking the cat boy's tail as hard as he could. The Cheshire Cat let out an earsplitting yowl as a fuming Naruto continued to pull on the furry appendage. "Naruto, stop!" he pleaded, tears streaming from his eyes, "I-It hurts!" His tail was always the most sensitive part of his body.

"That doesn't mean you should fool around with your life like that, you… you dumb cat!" the blond bellowed, finally showing some mercy and releasing Gaara's tail from his death grip. "So what if you can get 'replaced', it's still **WRONG **to waste your life like that! And even if you did, it wouldn't be _**you**_, right?"

"Yes, but…"

"That means I won't ever be able to see _**you**_ anymore! I'd miss you! You've got that, stupid cat?"

Gaara blinked for several seconds, letting Naruto's words sink in. "You're right," he said, realizing the smaller one had a point. "I wouldn't like not being able to see you again either."

"I'm not the only one," Naruto started, "What about Lee, or the Twins, wouldn't they miss you too?"

"Don't think so. You the only one who's ever really worried about me."

"You're kidding me!"

"No. I'm not. I'll be more careful from now on. I want to keep seeing you, Naruto."

"Good. I'd really hate ya if you kept 'playing around' like that. Your life and friends are precious. I know you don't think that way in Wonderland, but you really should!"

"I'm back," a blood splattered Sai called as he entered Sasori's workshop, "I've got you a lot of clocks today." He then pulled out a medium sized sack that was apparently full to the brim.

"Did you have to bring so many?" the redheaded Mortician griped, "You could have a bit of pity for the one who's got to fix them."

"It's not my fault this time, Sasori-san," excused the shorter brunet, "I had to add the clocks of the ones who got in my way. They kept hiding them and you want me to get them before they're broken, ne? Oh," Sai said upon realizing something, "it's not like you to make a comment when I bring you clocks. How odd."

"…"

"By the way, where is Naru-kun? I didn't see him around."

"We had a… discussion about clocks," was Sasori's terse reply, "it ended with him running out."

"Oh? You weren't truthful with him? Why didn't you tell him from the beginning?"

"Hmph. You forget this world is totally different from what Naruto's used to. He's already upset and stressed as it is. I see no point in wasting time in telling him things that would only upset him more."

"My, my, it looks like you've fallen for Naru-kun, Sasori-san," Sai announced a dangerous glint in his dark eyes, "I've never heard you talk like that before. It almost makes me jealous. So jealous that I just might kill you, my friend."

"So you came back," Sasori noted, looking up from his latest job as Naruto entered the workshop, "And here I thought you wouldn't want to stay here anymore, after that last talk."

"Yah, about that," the blond started, "I'm sorry for running out on ya like that, Sasori."

"Don't expect me to take you back the next time you pull something like that," the Mortician replied rather uffishly, "Make me some coffee, then get to bed it's late."

"You got it!" Naruto beamed and rushed off to ground some more beans.

About half an hour later, the boy retuned with two cups of the steaming black liquid. "Why are you still up?" snapped the clock fixer, blushing at the blond's current state of undress. "And must you walk around like that? It's indecent," he added, indicating the boy's orange boxers with tiny green frogs on them.

"You told me to make coffee, remember?" he retorted, "And what's with the sudden interest in my clothes? You never complained before. I've been sleeping like this since I've got here, you know."

"Hmph." The redhead took a cup and went back to work, ignoring the boy a he pulled up a chair and sat across from him.

"You sure work hard, don't ya Sasori? I haven't seen you take a break, yet."

"Go to bed if you're bored, Naruto," the clock fixer said while never tearing his eyes from his work.

"Nah. I like watching you. You're so amazing with those things. It makes me wish I was as good at something like you are. But you always look so sad when you're working." Naruto pouted, leaning his arms and head on the tiny bit of desk that wasn't covered in clock parts.

"No matter how many times I fix a clock, it still gets abused," the redhead replied sadly, "No one cares about them here. And since I'm the only one who can fix them, this tower is the only sanctuary I can offer these broken lives. That's why you always see me working. People may hate me for my less than social personality but where else can they go when I'm the only Mortician in Wonderland?"

"Yeesh, you're such a pessimist, Sasori!" Naruto quipped, "You don't get it, do ya? I bet those people see you as some kind of god."

The taller teen spluttered his coffee. "Me? A god?" He gave out a bitter chuckle, "I hardly seem fit to be a deity, Naruto."

"That's true," the blond agreed, "Most gods are a lot less cranky. But I've seen ya work, Sasori. It's amazing! I've seen ya fix clocks I thought could have never been fixed. And you give people a new life when theirs get broken. That's something no ordinary person could do! Believe it!"

"…Isn't that why you ran out before?"

"Ok, so I'm creeped out by those after image thingies," the blond admitted, "not to mention having a clock for a heart. But _**you**_ don't scare me Sasori. You actually save lives and that's not scary at all! That's why I'm gonna do my best to help ya no matter what!"

Sasori stared at the shorter boy in awe. No one had even seen his despicable job the way he had. The Mortician was truly stunned by this rather strange, yet remarkable boy. "Whatever," he said, choosing to take a small break for once. "B," he added before opening the workshop door, "Your coffee still needs improvement, but it's not so strong this time."

"Just you wait, Sasori!" Naruto called back, beaming, "I'm gonna make ya a cup of coffee that'll knock your socks off!"

Meanwhile…

"…what Fate has decided?" Kakashi shouted, "Don't give me that crap, Neji!"

The dream demon continued to smirk at the White Rabbit as he floated above the silver haired man. "He may be taking his sweet time," he said, "but Naruto is starting to fit in."

"You think so?"

"Yes, he knows the truth about the Mortician now and yet Naruto has chosen to remain living with him. Bit by bit, he is becoming part of this world."

"That's good," the rabbit man said, hope coloring his voice, "So when do you think he'd be able to love me back?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" snapped the long haired teen, "Anyway, I thought you were content to just have Naruto here, Kakashi Hatake. You've gotten quite greedy haven't you, wanting him to stay **and** love you."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my mind," Kakashi drawled.

Neji smirked again. "Can't help that," he replied, "I am a dream demon after all."

"I don't know what to do," bemoaned the rabbit man, his ears drooping slightly, "I've never really been in love, so everything I've done so far has made Naru-chan upset."

"You've probably been coming on too strong."

"Are you saying I shouldn't woo him? But Naru-chan has to love me! If he didn't then how was I able to bring him here in the first place? Isn't that how it's supposed to go? Someone has to tell him, once Naru-chan knows, I'm sure he wouldn't play so hard to get."

"That could be problematic," the shorter teen began, "Yes, Naruto may have some feelings for you, but there's more to you than you let on. The way you try to explain yourself just might make him run home instead. If you want Naruto to love you, I suggest you stop acting as if he were something to own and start earning that love. That's all the advice you'll be getting from me." The dream demon began to fade from the barren landscape that was his dominion, "Oh and one more thing, Kakashi, Naruto is the only one who can know how he feels. I suggest you keep that in mind from now on."

"Naru-chan…" the White Rabbit whispered, thinking on all the dream demon had told him and how his previous actions had once again upset his precious Naru-chan. He banged his fist against a nearby tree in frustration. He sighed heavily as he began to head back to the castle.

As he walked gloomily through the small village near the Clock Tower, a flash of orange and blue appeared at the corner of his single visible eye.

"K-Kakashi?" the blond called, nervously.

"NAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUU-CHAN!" the rabbit man squealed. He skidded to a halt halfway while running to glomp the boy yet again. Neji's words ran through his mind again, reminding him that he'd never win his Naru-chan's love if he kept that up. The White Rabbit stood stiffly as he stared at the blond intently.

"W-What's up?"

Kakashi stayed silent for several more moments then ran the rest of the way to the boy, wrapping his arms around him and trapping him in a bear hug. "It's just too hard for me not to hold you, Naru-chan," he said, "I love you," he repeated over and over.

"Look ya pervy rabbit!" the blond protested, squirming, "I already told you I don't!"

"I know," Kakashi said, releasing the boy, though it was extremely hard for him to do so, "Then what do I have to do to make you love me, Naru-chan?" he begged, a look of desperation on his face.

_'What the heck's going on here?'_ wondered Naruto, _'He's acting weird, well weirder than usual.'_

"Tell me!"

"I-I can't," the shorter one answered, "I don't really know if I could ever love you the way you want, Kakashi."

"Naru-chan…" He clutched the boy to his chest again, burying his head in the sunsilk strands. The silver haired rabbit man found it unbearable to look at him right now. He felt for sure his clock would break if he had to look at him and see the disgust and pity in those oh so lovely sapphire orbs.

"L-Let go ya stupid, pervy rabbit!" screamed Naruto shoving against the taller man again. As with before, Kakashi released him without further protesting on either side. "Kakashi," the boy started, "if ya want someone to love you, then try being a bit less pushy and scary."

"Less scary, huh?" the taller one echoed, "Then how about this?" There was a flash of light and when Naruto could see again, a silver furred rabbit wearing Kakashi's clothes stood before him.

_'N-N-No way!'_ he sputtered, _'Kakashi's that rabbit I saw before?'_

~TBC~

Sakura: Hoo-boy our cute widdle foxie's got quite the harem going here now that all of the guys are starting to fall for him. Quite the b'day gift for him, eh?

Naru: Hey, I can't help it if everyone thinks I'm hot. I got it from my old man you know!

Minato: Yep. That's my boy! ^_^

Sasuke: Great, just what the dobe needed, another ego boost.

Sakura: Oh shut it, gaki! You're just jealous you're not even in this one. Anyhoo, remember ppl, Naru can only have ONE hottie so keep voting for your faves. Good luck and let the best bishie win!


	7. Chapter 7

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 7

"Less scary, huh?" the taller one echoed, "Then how about this?" There was a flash of light and when Naruto could see again, a silver furred rabbit wearing Kakashi's clothes stood before him.

_'N-N-No way!'_ he sputtered, _'Kakashi's that rabbit I saw before?'_

"Do you love me now?" the rabbit asked, using the most feared weapon known to man – the dreaded sad puppy look.

"You…I…" the blond sputtered, "You're that rabbit from our orchard!"

"Guilty as charged," the White Rabbit drawled, "You should have told me sooner you preferred the more kawaii me, I never would have bothered switching forms."

"Um… Kakashi, look," Naruto started.

"I'm much cuter," interrupted Kakashi, "than a certain rogue rabbit I know. So if you want the cute and small me, then I'll keep this form. As long as that'll get you to love me back."

_'Why does he have to be sooooo damn kawaii?'_ the boy moaned, once again fighting against his obsession with all things small and furry.

"You can pet me if you want," the silver furred rabbit said, noticing the now much taller blond's dilemma.

That was it, he couldn't hold back any longer. The blond sprung forward and scooped up Kakashi, holding the rabbit as if he were a prized stuffed toy, cooing and fussing all the while. _'He's so soft and fluffy!'_ he inwardly squealed. _'Even if he is a pervy stalker rabbit.'_

"Oh Naru-chan!" cried Kakashi, elated at finally being held by his beloved, "You don't know how happy you've made me! I'll stay like this forever just for you, so please come stay with me at the castle." He pulled out the big guns again, looking even more cute and helpless if that was even possible.

_'Can you believe this guy?'_ Naruto said, inwardly sighing, _'He says he'd try to change but he's still the same Kakashi! But he's soooooo damned kawaii!'_

"You can move in right away," beamed the White Rabbit, "Even her majesty will be happy to see you. She's been going on and on about how much she wants to spend more time with you."

"The queen?" he echoed. The boy frowned slightly at the memory of seeing the pink haired girl having a secret tryst with a certain yakuza head. "Hey, Kakashi," he said, putting down the silver furred rabbit, much to his disappointment. "I need to ask ya something. I saw Queen Sakura at Itachi's yesterday, so what's up with that? I thought they hated each other."

"The queen at the Hatter's? You must have been seeing things, Naru-chan. Otherwise there'd be some serious trouble. Her majesty never goes anywhere alone and if she did it would be to meet to discuss land negotiations. The queen and _that man_ usually try to kill each other as soon as they set eyes on them."

"But, I could've sworn…"

"You could ask her, if you're so worried," suggested the White Rabbit, "it'll be another reason to come to the castle right away."

"Look, Kakashi," Naruto replied seriously, "I'm not gonna leave Sasori's so just give up already."

"B-But Naru-chan!" he begged, his ears drooping and tears glistening in his visible eye, "I'll stay like this!"

"Not gonna work, buddy," the blond retorted, "I'm helping Sasori with his work, and I'm not gonna quit just 'cause of a cute bunny." _'Even if he is soft and cuddly,'_ he added silently. "I was kinda on my way back there, so I'd better hurry before Sasori gets any crankier. But I'll stop visit ya, sometime maybe."

"Will you visit if I'm like this?" the extremely cute rabbit pleaded.

_'I've gotta hand it to him,'_ Naruto quipped, _'he really knows how to blackmail a guy.'_ "Uh, ok I guess."

"Great!" Kakashi beamed, almost jumping for joy, his ears twitching in excitement, "I'll be waiting, Naru-chan so don't stay away too long." He then half hopped, half strode down the cobble-stoned street and back toward the castle.

The blond sat at the tea table, trying hard not to think about what he'd seen at Itachi's mansion the previous day. The fact that Kakashi denied that Queen Sakura would even think of associating with the admittedly hot man hadn't helped at all. It only served to add more doubt to the boy's already confused mind. _'If Kakashi said she doesn't go anywhere by herself, then the queen must have snuck out. And Itachi sure did look happy to see her too. They've got to be having an affair! Believe it! Why else would they look so happy?'_

"…Naruto!" the redheaded clock fixer snapped, "Pay attention when I'm talking to you! What is with you? You've been spacing out on me all day!"

Naruto blinked and snapped out of his reverie. "S-Sorry, Sasori!" he apologized, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and grinning, "Guess I kinda got lost in thought there. What was it ya wanted?"

The taller teen sighed, shaking his head. "I was asking why your clothes are covered in hair."

"They are?" The boy quick looked down at the jacket of his jumpsuit and sure enough tons of white hairs were almost completely covering the front. _'Oops,' _he thought, _'looks like that pervy rabbit shed on me.'_ "I-I… uh… you see there was a really kawaii fox… yeah a fox, and I just had to pick 'im up!" he explained, trying not to sound too suspicious."

"So you were goofing off," muttered Sasori, "No wonder it took so long for you to get a simple and quick part purchase for me."

"I'm really sorry about that, Sasori," the blond said, apologizing profusely, "I'll be much quicker next time. Believe it!"

"There's no need to apologize," the Mortician replied, "Thanks to the parts you got me, I was able to get rid of the backlog. If you weren't here, I wouldn't be having this break, so thank you Naruto."

"Y-You're welcome," he stammered, blushing at the taller one's praise, "I'm glad you think I'm helpful, Sasori."

"To some extent," the redhead interjected, "You can take a break as well. I don't have any clocks to fix at the moment."

"Sure thing, Sasori!"

Naruto stood before the small bookshelf that was in one of the empty rooms in the Clock Tower. "I've read all these already," he stated, frowning. "So now what?" He stood there in thought, pondering what he should do now that he didn't have any errands to run for the Mortician.

_'What did I do on days off back home?'_ he asked himself, trying to remember, _'Oh yeah! I used to read! Especially on Sundays. Ino-nee-chan and I would pack a lunch and some tea and bring it to the orchard. Then we'd sit and read a whole bunch of books together. It's been so long, I hope she's not too freaked out.'_

At the thought of his older sister, a sudden and sharp agonizing pain shot through his chest. The blond staggered against the books and clutched the orange fabric of his jumpsuit. "Naruto!" Sasori called upon spying the stricken boy as he was passing by, "What's wrong? Naruto!"

"It's too soon for you to remember," Neji said as he watched the heaving and panting blond from the dreamscape that was his domain. "Just forget, Naruto dear. Forget and remain in your dream for now."

"Naruto!" the redheaded Mortician shouted, grabbing hold of the boy lest he unintentionally hurt himself. "What's wrong? Tell me!"

The blond suddenly blinked, the searing pain vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Huh? Sasori?" _'The pain's gone!'_ he noted, surprised.

"Are you alright?" the taller teen queried, concern still lacing his voice.

"Y-Yeah. Thanks Sasori," he said letting the clock fixer to help him stand, "But now I've forgot what I was thinking about. Silly huh?" he said, scratching the back of his head and grinning sheepishly. The Mortician continued to stare at the boy as Naruto tried to remember what it was he'd forgotten. "Oh yeah!" Naruto piped, "I was thinking how I've read all your books, Sasori." _'Guess I could borrow some from Itachi, but…'_ He frowned as the picture of the Hatter and the Queen of Hearts smiling together popped into his head, unbidden.

"What is it?" Sasori pressed at the boy's sudden silence, "Are you still feeling ill?"

"N-No," he stammered, "I was thinking of Itachi."

"Uchiha?" the redhead asked, frowning slightly, "Why?"

"I was just thinking about borrowing some of his books since I've read all these already," Naruto explained hastily. "See ya Sasori," he yelled dashing out of the room before the taller one could even think of protesting, "I'll be back before ya need me, 'k?"

The boy stood before the Hatter yakuza's gate, trying to work up the courage to ask a certain raven haired boss to let him borrow some books. "Hiya nii-san!" Obito cheered, as he and his twin came running up to greet him.

"Did you come to play with Tobi and Obito?" Tobi asked, bouncing for joy at spying his new favorite person.

"Hey guys," greeted Naruto. He then blanched at the sight before him. "W-What happened? Are you two okay?" The Bloody Twins were living up to their title, for they were both currently covered head to foot in blood.

"Tobi was playing with Sakura-chan's soldiers!" the orange clad twin said proudly, "Obito-nii too!"

"Yep," agreed the red clad twin, "But it was over way too quick since they're no good at playing."

"P-P-Playing?" parroted a horrified blond. Apparently their clothes weren't the only things drenched in blood, for their halberds were soaked in the red liquid as well. "W-W-With those things?"

"Uh-huh," Obito chirped, "You can't play 'Kill or be Killed' without weapons!"

"Oh wonderful," Naruto muttered under his breath, "They're as bad as Gaara."

"Gaara?" parroted Tobi, "Tobi's nii-san's been to Gaara-nii's?"

"U-Uh yeah. He got hurt and I had to help him home."

"Aw, no fair!" whined Obito, "Why'd you have go play with just Gaara?"

"Hey!" the taller boy defended, backing away from the two in case they decided to sick those wicked looking weapons on him. "I stopped here too, but I you guys weren't around."

"Tobi's nii-san should have told us he was stopping by," the younger of the twins said, pouting.

"Yeah, guess I should've," agreed the blond, still fearing for his life, "I… uh... wanted to borrow some books from Itachi but I couldn't find him last time. So is he here today?"

"Aww, ya just missed him," Obito replied, "Boss Itachi went out with Chickie Rabbit."

"Jeez, why'd I get stuck with lousy timing?" the tallest of the three complained.

"Tobi's nii-san should stay!" Tobi piped, grabbing onto one arm.

"Yeah," agreed the red clad twin, attaching himself to Naruto's other arm, "You can wait in our room until Boss Itachi gets back. They said it was a quick job too!"

"Guess I have no choice, huh?" the taller blond said, resigning himself.

"C'mon nii-san!" Obito called as the Bloody Twins led the older boy through the grounds of Itachi's mansion.

"Tobi wants to show Tobi's nii-san our treasures!" Tobi added.

"Hey, guys," Naruto began, recognizing a familiar area, "What's in those woods? It's Hatter land right?" _'I'm sure that's where Queen Sakura and Itachi were.'_

"The woods?" Obito repeated, "We don't go there, Boss Itachi said to never go near there."

"Yep, yep!" the youngest of the three concurred, "Even Dei-dei-nii-san and the workers don't go in!"

"That's Boss Itachi's rules so we gotta listen or we'll get our pay docked."

_'Itachi must really not want anyone to see him and the queen together,'_ Naruto mused, _'Why else would he go through all that trouble to keep people away? I knew they were having an affair!'_

"You sit here nii-san," Obito said as the Bloody Twins ushered the blond over to a couch and pushed him down onto the plush cushions.

"Tobi and Obito are gonna change now!" the orange clad twin then dashed off somewhere to get cleaned up, his older brother in tow.

Looking around, Naruto got increasingly nervous. Crammed into every nook and cranny, were various weapons of all kinds and sizes. It was a miracle the twins were able to have not only one but two comfy looking sofas, equally comfy chairs, two buffet tables, two wardrobes, and a fireplace amongst the multitude of arms. _'I'd bet Gaara would die of envy if he ever saw this place,'_ the blond pondered. _'I'd hate to find out what they'd call treasures.'_

A short while later, Obito and Tobi came bounding in, their hair still damp from showering off the blood. "Lookit, nii-san!" Tobi crowed plopping on the blond's left and shoving a grenade in his face. "Aren't our treasures awesome?" asked Obito, sitting on his right and brandishing a kunai.

_'I should have known,'_ the eldest of the three inwardly groaned.

"Tobi says this grenade's real comfy in his hand!"

"And this kunai's the awesomest!" piped Obito. "You like it don't you, nii-san?"

"Tobi says nii-san likes Tobi's grenade more!"

The Bloody Twins then glared at each other venomously and began to argue over which weapon Naruto liked best. "It's the kunai!" shouted Obito.

"The grenade!" protested his younger twin.

"The kunai!"

"The grenade!"

This went on for several moments then Obito had gotten the brainstorm of the century. "Tobi," he said, "let's settle this by fighting. Whoever doesn't die is the one nii-san likes best."

"Tobi is gonna kill you Obito-nii!" the orange clad twin shot, grinning maniacally.

"H-H-Hey!" Naruto yelled, dashing between the two as the twins got into battle stances after grabbing a few all too handy weapons. "I-I-I DON'T LIKE EITHER OF 'EM!"

"EH?" the shorter boys chorused.

"Tobi's nii-san doesn't like Tobi!" he cried, tears pooling in his crimson eyes and bottom lip quivering.

"Do you really not like us anymore, nii-san?" asked Obito, looking as he was going to cry as well.

"I-I didn't say that!" the blond protested. Naruto never could figure out what to do when a kid started to cry. "I like you guys!"

"YAY!" they squealed in unison and immediately glomped the taller boy, pinning him to the couch. "Nii-san likes Tobi!" the orange twin shouted with glee.

"We loooooooooooooooove nii-san!" the red clad twin crowed. "Ne, Tobi how 'bout we show the nii-san our special, special treasure?"

"Tobi's gonna get it!" the youngest of the three barked and bounced off Naruto's lap and ran to one of the far corners. In mere seconds he dashed back carrying a pair of nodaichi. "Here they are Obito-nii! Tobi's a good boy! He got the special, special treasure for the nii-san!"

Naruto let out a nervous giggle. _'They're kinda cute for kids, but this weapon kick of theirs really freaks me out! What kinda parent lets their kids collect weapons?'_

"Tobi wants to test the treasure on the nii-san, can we Obito-nii?"

"Great idea Tobi!" beamed the older twin, drawing one of the swords and placed the rather sharp looking blade millimeters away from the blond's neck.

"H-H-Hey!" Naruto shouted in horror.

"Hold still Tobi's nii-san," Tobi said dangerously as he mimicked his twin.

"Just what the heck are you two doing, un?" Deidara bellowed from the doorway, having slammed it open. "You brats are nothing but a major pain, un! Ya okay, kiddo, hmm?" the March Hare asked, rushing over to the frightened boy and shoving the twins off to the side. "They didn't hurt ya did they, un? I was freakin' out when they said these freaks took you to their room."

"I-I-I'm fine, Deidara!" the boy stammered, shaking as the taller blond held him protectively in his arms. "I-I'm glad you showed up though."

"'S good, Naru-kun."

"Well, well, well" Itachi called dryly from the hall, leaning against the door frame, "It looks like my men just can't keep away from you can they?"

"Itachi!" eeped Naruto, causing the taller blond to immediately let go of the boy.

"I hope the gatekeepers weren't causing you any trouble," the yakuza head said icily, glaring at the twins. There'd be two more clocks for the Mortician if they'd so much as have harmed one hair on his prey's head.

"Nuh-uh!" Obito denied.

"Tobi's a good boy!" the younger twin wailed, "we were just playing with the nice nii-san!"

"Puh-leeeze," scoffed the March Hare "Your idea of play is nothin' but trouble, un!"

"Aw what do you know?" spat the red clad twin.

"Tobi says the stupid bunny should shut up and mind his own business!"

Deidara had had enough the twins had tried to harm Naruto and that didn't sit well with him – even if it was the boy's fault for being so stupid enough to let them drag him to their room to begin with. The blond rabbit man grabbed the grenade Tobi had discarded earlier and began chasing the twins around the room and then through the mansion.

"We would like some tea and dango," Itachi said to a passing faceless servant as they neared the library.

"Right away sir!" she piped and made her way to the kitchen.

"I apologize for not being here the other day, I could have helped you pick out a few books," the yakuza head said opening the library door.

"No, it's my fault for not letting you know I was coming," objected the blond.

"I usually do my work in here," started Itachi, "but you are welcome to help yourself whatever books you like."

"Um… thanks, Itachi," replied Naruto, blushing.

The Hatter smirked as he removed hat and jacket, placing them on a brass hat stand just off to one side of the door. A few moments, later, the two were seated comfortably at the desk and couch, Itachi starting on a rather large pile of paperwork and Naruto reading a book.

"Ne, Itachi," the blond began, "are you sure I'm not in the way? You look like you're really busy. I can just read these books back at the tower. I'll return 'em I promise!"

"Hn. I'm the one who invited you."

"Yeah, but…" _'I know he's trying to be polite here, but I feel like I'm being ordered around. He's nothing like _him_,'_ the boy mused as he stared at the raven haired man, a certain two-timer coming to mind, _'Itachi isn't as kind tho' they look a lot alike.'_

"If you keep looking at me like that," the Hatter chided, smirking all the while, "You just might burn holes right through me, cutie."

"I-I-I didn't mean to stare!" Naruto stammered, blushing, "I-I-If I'm disturbing you, I can…"

"You're not," the yakuza head replied, rising from his seat. He stalked over to the couch and sat next to the blond. The shorter boy gulped nervously and scooted away only to have Itachi move closer. "Let me guess," he said, smirking, "you were thinking of a former love. Am I right?"

"H-H-How'd you know?"

The man's grin grew, "You just told me," he replied poking the boy in the forehead with one finger.

"D-Don't you have work to do?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Don't feel like it. You're much more interesting," was Itachi's reply, snaking an arm around the shorter boy. "So I remind you of a lost love, huh?"

"Y-You look like him a bit," explained the shorter one, "but you're **nothing** like him on the inside!"

"Hn. Good. I'd be a bit worried if there was someone exactly like me in your world. So, cutie is it normal for you to go visiting criminals on your days off?"

"Nuh-uh," Naruto answered, blushing again, "Sasori said the other parts of this world are just as bad as yours, so I guess it wouldn't matter if I did come here."

"My aren't we the bold one," drawled Itachi, "Though you're not in that much danger since outsiders like you are loved by all of us here."

"So, Itachi, have there um… been a lot of outsiders?"

"No. Outsiders are rare. From what I've been told, those of us 'with roles to play' are usually able to spot an outsider just by looking at them."

"Really?"

The yakuza head continued to grin. "Yes, but you Naruto are the first one I've been able to really feel anything for, that's why I'm so interested in you. You seem to be getting on fine these days."

"I guess so," Naruto replied, "I've been kinda busy helping Sasori though."

"The Mortician?" the taller man echoed, a dark look coming to his face.

"Y-Yeah," the blond replied nervously, unconsciously picking up on the taller one's jealousy. "But when I go out, all kinds of weird stuff keeps happening to me."

"Weird? Like what?"

"Well, that pervy rabbit's **always** stalking me. And Gaara wanted to teach me how to shoot. And there was that time I had to spend the night with Sai in his tent when I was dumb enough to let him lead me back to the tower. Geez, it's such a pain!"

"So that's it," Itachi announced grimly, "The reason you're doing so well is you've been driving all the men here mad with that cute act of yours."

"N-Nanda yo?"

"Come now," the raven haired yakuza head chided, cupping one lightly tanned cheek, "you and I both now you used that same act to seduce that former love of yours. You're quite the little gigolo, aren't you?"

CRACK

A red handprint began to form on the Hatter's finely sculpted cheek. "Look who's talking, pal!" a very angry Naruto shouted.

"I beg your pardon," Itachi asked, his dark eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I saw you, you womanizer! You were with Queen Sakura in the rose garden!"

"That place is off limits," the taller man said icily, a hint of red beginning to bleed into his normally ebony pools.

"Hey! How was I supposed to know that if I'm not the one living here?" the blond shot back.

"Hn. You still broke the rule, Naruto. Rule breakers are punished around here." With speed born from years of practice, Itachi lashed out and wrapped one of his much larger hands around the boy's slim neck and forcibly shoved the blond to lie on the couch. "I'll have you know," the Hatter said, starting to squeeze, "I've always wondered what it'd be like to kill an outsider." The boy grabbed Itachi's arm with both hands and desperately struggled to get the much stronger man to release him. "To wrap my fingers around their throat and destroy what everyone here loved so much. But you were different, Naruto. I found myself liking you, liking you so much that I didn't want to see you dead. Yet, here I am, doing the very thing I've fantasized about."

"Y-You're n-n-ut… uts!" the blond choked, "H-H-How can… you… s-s-say you… l-l-love… someone while… y-y-y-you're t-t-try… ing to… ki…ill them? Y-Y-Ya g-g-gon…na kill… the qu..een next… 'cause… y-y-you l-l-lo…ove her?"

"Love Sakura?" he parroted nonplussed, and released the boy. "I see. So that's what you were thinking." Naruto began coughing and gasping, trying to get his breath back while rubbing his now sore throat. Itachi rose from the couch, turning back toward his desk. "I don't love her," he replied, coldly.

"Sure didn't…" the shorter one snapped between coughs, "look like that to me!"

"Hn. Believe what you want. No one else will."

"Tell me Itachi! What's the head of the yakuza doin' with the queen if you're supposed to be **hating **each other?"

"None of your concern," was the Hatter's curt response, "I suggest you walk away right now before you fall for me any further. I'm no one's replacement lover."

"Y-Y-You bastard!" screamed the blond. Naruto shot up from the couch and grabbed the book that had been knocked away during the struggle and he threw it at the taller man with all of his might. The rectangular object sailed through the air and sped toward the man's head, however, Itachi just smirked as he whirled around and grabbed the book before it could do any damage.

"As if I'd ever fall for a sicko like you!" Naruto yelled, tears threatening to fall from his lovely ocean like orbs. "And FYI buddy, I made a promise to myself that I'm NEVER EVER gonna fall in love again! So there!" He promptly gave the yakuza head a raspberry. "It's just too much of a hassle."

"Hn. One less pest for me to bother with."

The shorter boy glared at the raven haired man, tears streaming from his sapphire eyes and bottom lip quivering. Itachi paid him no attention, instead proceeded to return to his desk and pile of paperwork. Naruto let out a frustrated scream then rushed out of the library slamming the door behind him.

"Naru-kun?" the March Hare called as the blond maelstrom blew past him. Deidara grabbed the boy's arm, worry flooding his cerulean eyes. "You're… crying, un? Ita did something didn't he?" The shorter blond stiffened then yanked his arm out of the rabbit man's grasp. "Naru-kun," he tried again. The boy ignored the older one and ran off before Deidara could grab him again. The rabbit man's eyes narrowed in anger and concern. How dare Itachi make the kid cry!

The blond promptly marched to the library and burst through the door. "Itachi!" he shouted, causing the yakuza head to look up from his work, his face expressionless as always. "What just did you do? The kid was crying his eyes out, un!"

"Your point being?" he replied coldly.

"Argh! I just don't understand ya, un! You say you don't care for him, but Naru-kun's still alive, un. You wouldn't let him live if ya didn't care for him. So what gives, hmm?"

"Deidara," warned Itachi, the barest hint of crimson flashing in his jet black orbs, "I'm trying to get some work down, unlike some people around here."

The March Hare stood silent for several moments before deciding to leave his friend be. He'd known the other for so long that there'd be no changing the Hatter's mind once he clammed up like that. Sighing, Deidara sighed as he closed the library door behind him.

_'Why am I such a dobe?'_ Naruto berated himself as he slowly made his way back to the Clock Tower, _'Just what the hell was I thinking? How the heck could I have _**any**_ feelings for that teme?'_

"Hello, Naruto," greeted the Cheshire Cat, the Bloody Twins at his side.

The slightly shorter blond blinked, having been drawn out of his reverie. "Gaara!" he replied, "Are you sure you should be out like this?"

The redheaded cat boy gave a low chuckle and grinned. "I'm fine," he replied, "Thank you again for helping me the other day."

"I was just doin' what anyone 'normal' would've," the blond said, blushing slightly, "Anyway, you really gotta start taking better care of yourself, Gaara."

A mischievous smile was gleaming in those aquamarine pools, "Too late," he teased, "I was just coming from the castle." Naruto got ready to rip the Cheshire Cat a new one for being reckless again. "Relax," he said, chuckling again, "I **was** more careful, so there's not a scratch on me this time."

"Honestly, Gaara!" chided the blond in mock anger.

"Is Tobi's nii-san going back to the nasty Clock Tower, now?" the orange clad twin queried.

"We wanted to have some more fun, nii-san," Obito complained, "It's not fair Boss Itachi had to go and ruin it!"

"Eh-he, sorry guys," excused Naruto, "but I've gotta get back. Sasori's probably wondering where I've been all this time."

Gaara stared at the boy intently, finally noticing the blond's red and puffy eyes. "Do you like riddles, Naruto?" he asked, an ingenious idea coming to his mind.

"I guess, why?"

The cat boy grinned. "By myself, I am a bloom, but when there are two of me, I jump for joy. What flower am I?" he asked.

The blond hmmed in thought, trying to figure out the answer. "I don't get it," he said, drawing a complete blank.

Gaara continued to grin. "It's this," he replied, producing a single crimson flower.

"A rose?" the boy queried, "I still don't get it."

"It's simple, Naruto," the cat boy explained, still grinning, "First try saying it like this, a rose."

"A rose…"

"Now put it together."

"Like this… arose?" The shorter blond suddenly started laughing his head off when it finally clicked in his head. "Geez that's the lamest pun I've ever heard!" he cried between guffaws.

Gaara laughed, the blond's mirth contagious. "I know," he said, "But I like riddles, even really lame ones. Feeling better?" he asked, placing the rose in the boy's hair.

_'Gaara…were you trying to cheer me up?'_

"I like seeing you laugh, Naruto," the redhead said, "I love how your face lights up."

"T-T-Thanks, Gaara," the blond replied, blushing.

"Hey!" whined Obito, "We love the nii-san too!"

"Tobi loves Naruto-nii lots!" the younger twin added.

Meanwhile…

Itachi Uchiha sighed, and once again left his ever-growing pile of paperwork. He strode over to the coffee table where he had placed the book Naruto had thrown at him. Picking it up, he brought it to his face. The boy's lingering scent still clung to the cloth cover and he inhaled the intoxicating aroma. "Even now, you still hold my interest," he spoke to no one in particular, "As they would say, curiouser and curiouser."

~TBC~

Sakura: Is it me or are things getting intense here?

Naru: Yeah what gives, lady? I thought you liked me!

Sakura: I do, Naru-chan. It's just that…

Ita: She thought it'd be more interesting if she stuck to the original manga plot when it came to my part. She's quite taken with the Hatter it would seem.

Naru: Interesting? You call me almost dying interesting? You're nuttier than that Madara guy!

Sakura: Now, I wouldn't say that Naru. I'm not that mad.

Chessur: Yet. Though you are pretty close.

Sakura: Oh hush up, cat! Who asked for your opinion! Go annoy the red queen or something!


	8. Chapter 8

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

_**So sorry for the wait everyone. I know you've been anxious for the latest bit of madness that is my Heart no Kuni/Naruto x-over so without further ado, let's get the party started!**_

Chapter 8

"Oh! I'm sorry, Naru-kun!" apologized Sai as he crashed into the blond as Naruto was entering the Clock Tower, causing the boy to drop the books he'd been carrying.

"Eh-he, guess I should have knocked first huh?" the boy said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Here let me help." The knight immediately bent down and started picking the fallen objects.

"Why must you never look where you're going?" grumbled Sasori, joining them upon hearing the commotion. The Knight of Hearts let out a wry chuckle, not bothering to look at the redhead. "Quit fooling around Sai. You need to be awake so you can do your job."

"Oh I'll do my part alright, so you needed worry, Sasori-san," he replied, having finished picking up Naruto's books. He then adjusted his tattered cape and mask before dashing off to collect more broken clocks for the Mortician.

"What's with him?" the shorter blond asked, having noticed that Sai wasn't his usual self.

"I wish I knew myself," the clock fixer said, moving aside so Naruto could enter the Tower. "He has been acting odd lately. He's always been horrible with directions, but it seems he's gotten better at getting lost." Naruto looked at the taller teen quizzically, concerned for the knight. "By the way, Naruto, where did you get those?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I got 'em from the village. I had some of the money you gave me saved up so…"

"I see. So the Hatter didn't have anything to your liking I take it."

"Um… you could say that."

Sasori raised an eyebrow, but was interrupted before he could press any further.

"Is Naru-chan here?!" a frantic Kakashi asked as he rushed up the tower stairs. "Naaru-chan!" he shouted and immediately began glomping the blond, knocking him back and causing them to crash into the stairs. Sasori rolled his eyes as the boy started struggling to escape the over amorous rabbit man's hold.

"Will you get off, ya damned pervy rabbit!" Naruto shouted.

"What is the meaning of this, Kakashi?" demanded the clock fixer, grabbing the taller man by the collar of his jacket and yanking him off the boy. Naruto gave him a grateful smile and once more picked up his scattered books.

"Naru-chan has to come with me to the castle immediately!" the White Rabbit explained, "Her majesty is in quite the nasty mood over you. She's been demanding to see you all day!"

"S-She has?" the boy queried, getting an uneasy feeling. _'This can't be good,'_ he fussed, _'What if she saw me at Itachi's rose garden?! Even if she didn't, I still can't face her. Not after what happened with me and Itachi.'_

"Yes. She's been missing you so much that she's been having servants beheaded because you haven't come to see her. It's gotten so that bad that more are killed before we can replace them all. She's even threatened to have _**me**_ beheaded if I don't bring you back!"

"Oh, good. It's about time Queen Sakura realized how much a pain you are," spat the boy, "Tell her that I'll be right over as soon as she lops off your head."

"N-Naaaaaaaaarrrrrrrruuuuuuu-chan!" the Prime Minister wailed, "How can you be so… so cruel?!"

"Hey! I was only kidding!" Naruto joked, "Geeze pull yourself together! Anyway, I'm not gonna go right now. Not if people are getting their heads chopped off."

Kakashi got a determined look on his face and decided that the 'big guns' were very much needed in this situation. There was a flash and when anyone could see again, the rabbit man was in his rabbit form, looking up at the blond expectantly. "Can we go now?" he pleaded.

"Um… okay," Naruto replied, causing the taller redhead to pause in mid-step and almost trip on the stairs.

"I thought you didn't want to go," the clock fixer grumbled.

"Stop being such a meanie, Sasori!" the blond scolded, picking up the silver furred rabbit. "I just can't leave a defenseless animal in trouble can I? I'm going now." With that, the boy dashed back down the stairs and out the Tower, leaving Sasori to pick up Naruto's poor abused books.

"Cute fox, my eye," he groused, remembering one of the blond's earlier excuses as to why he'd been late. He sighed and continued on his way back to his workshop, but not before making sure Naruto's books were placed in the boy's room.

"How come Naruto hasn't shown up yet?!" bellowed a very irate pink haired girl. She stamped her foot and cracks formed on the marble tilling of the floor. "Off with his head!" she commanded, pointing at a hapless soldier who just happened to be standing nearby.

"B-But Sakura," a man with spiky black hair pulled into a ponytail that resembled a pineapple and wearing similar robes to the queen but in, "We're already understaffed as it is. It's troublesome enough that we already are having difficulty replacing them."

"Shut up, you!" she spat, whirling to face her counterpart, "Or would you rather I'd have your head instead?" The taller man gulped noisily.

"Wait!"

The Queen of Hearts spun around, intent on turning her ire onto the latest fool to try to stop her. Fiery emerald eyes widened in surprise at the sight of her Prime Minister in his rabbit form while being carried by a blond boy. "Naruto!" she shouted with glee.

"Kakashi went and got me like you told him," the blond said, holding the rabbit a bit tighter, "so could you forgive him? Please?"

"Forgive, Hatake?" Queen Sakura parroted. She gave her Prime Minister a quick glance then it dawned on her. He had tricked the boy by using a guilt trip. "We could never behead Our Prime Minister even if We wished."

"W-What?" stammered Naruto, not noticing the rabbit hop out of his arms and returning to his half-rabbit/half man form.

"There is none here like Hatake," the queen replied, "Were We to actually give that order, he would slay each and every soldier We had should they try to execute him. It'd be a waste of time."

"Y-You tricked me!" Naruto yelled, turning to the taller rabbit man.

"Not exactly," Kakashi drawled, "Her majesty **always** gives that order when she's exceptionally angry, but she'd never let it be carried out."

"Indeed," the pink haired girl agreed, "We do thank you for bringing Naruto to Us so quickly, Hatake. However, We do not intend to share him with you this time."

"Y-Y-Your majesty!" Kakashi pleaded, "Must you be so cold?!"

Queen Sakura smirked. "How many times have you seen the boy, Hatake?" she asked, "Naruto-kun has come to visit _**Us**_ and not _**you**_ so I suggest you get back to your work. You've been slacking off too much again."

"My work?!" the White Rabbit shouted, "It's his work that I'm doing!" he added pointing to the spiky haired man.

"Give it up, Hatake," he ordered, yawning, "It's troublesome enough that we've got so little staff as it is."

"We'll be leaving you men to your work," the queen said, ushering Naruto into the depths of Heart Castle.

"This is my room," the pink haired girl said, dropping the formal speech. Naruto's eyes bugged out at the huge room. It was a two-story chamber done tastefully in shades of red and pink with heart motifs etched into the enormous windows that overlooked the castle gardens. A small table stood by one of the windows and several comfy looking sofas were carefully placed not to far away. He didn't look up, but he was sure an enormous bed was hiding somewhere on the second floor.

"I'd like to show you my secret collection, Naruto-kun," Queen Sakura announced.

_'If she's like everyone else here, I bet it's heads,'_ he thought, getting nervous.

"Here we are," beamed the girl, directing the boy's attention to one wall of the lower part. Piled upon shelves and along the floor were stuffed animals of various types and sizes. It was such a vast collection that it ran along the entire length of the wall and was starting to spill into the rest of the queen's chambers for a few of the toys seemed to have strayed from the main flock.

"Wow! That's a lot of stuffed animals!" the blond cried, whistling.

"I just adore cute things," the Queen of Hearts, said grabbing hold of Naruto from behind and wrapping her arms around him. "That's why I've grown so found of you Naruto-kun. You're just too cute!" The boy blushed profusely, he never was comfortable when girls would coo and fuss over him back at home. "No one knows about this," the pink haired girl said, getting serious now, "only a few select maids are even allowed in here. So you are **not** to tell a soul, got it?"

Naruto gulped at the queen's stern continence, "Y-Y-You've got it, Queen Sakura, I w-w-won't tell anybody! Ever!"

The queen giggled, "Call me Sakura when we're in here, ok?" she said, all seriousness gone once again, and put her finger to her rosy lips. "This will be our little secret."

"You bet!" he replied. _'Wow!' _he mused, still blushing, _'She's really pretty now that I can see her better. She's like a different person in here; she's being so sweet and cute. Not at all cold or scary like she is with everyone else.'_

"Say, Sakura," Naruto started, "um… when'd you become queen? I mean how old were you?"

"Hmm… I can't remember exactly. It was when the previous queen stepped down," she replied.

"Oh so you took over for your mom, huh?"

"My mother?" Queen Sakura echoed, "No, she wasn't my mother. I don't even know what happened to her. Only those involved with the last outsider to come here know that. I do know that it must have been something nasty, because Queens can not be taken from the game so easily. When it happened, I was just a poor faceless commoner living with her parents and older brother. A soldier from the castle came and said that I had been chosen to be the next Queen of Hearts. That was last time I saw my family. I wanted to scream and kick the whole time I was being led away, but I knew that it'd do no good. My fate had been set in stone."

"Gee, that's terrible!" shouted Naruto, "How could they just take a kid from their family like that?!"

"That is the way the game is played, Naruto-kun. A new queen was needed and she was unfortunately me. Though I am treated well here, it is such a tiring duty that I must bear. If things were a bit different, I would have stepped down myself long ago."

"What's with all this game stuff? I've been meaning to ask that ever since I wound up here!"

"I'm afraid I can't say much, I know it's hard for an outsider like you to understand this world. Most of us enjoy this game we play, but there are those who despise it greatly. You must have seen someone like that, yes?"

_ "We of this world can't change, no matter how we may want to,"_ Sai's words ran through his mind again. "You mean Sai don't you?"

"Yes," she replied, clutching an old and ratty Teddy Bear. "He's desperately trying to escape from his duty, but he never will. Though I must admit it gives me a bit of satisfaction seeing that there's someone suffering much worse than I am."

_'I take everything I said back; she's just as freaky as the rest! Believe it!'_

"Watching Sai run around like that is great for stress relief, as well as beheadings," the Queen of Hearts said, giggling, "The first execution I ordered was the King's mistress."

"King?" Naruto parroted, it was the first time he'd heard of a king, "I didn't know you were married Sakura."

"You idiot!" she shouted, causing the blond to eep and duck behind one of the couches, "How dare you say that! The thought of even marrying that spineless, lazy, imbecile makes me sick! I mean just look at the guy! He keeps insisting on wearing his hair like that so it always looks like a pineapple's stuck to his head!"

_'Oh so that was the king!'_ "But if you're queen and he's the king doesn't that usually mean…"

"No it does not!" the pink haired girl exclaimed, "Sorry Naruto-kun. It's just that I really can't stand Shikamaru. He's always trying to find some way to get out of doing his job. He's the same as I, someone chosen to fulfill a role."

"Oh. So um… that mistress was really his girlfriend or something? Then why'd ya have her killed?"

"She's not dead," the queen said quietly, "Shikamaru begged and begged for me to take back that order, so I did. Temari now lives in the village, though I can not forgive her for her crime."

"Uh… I'm afraid to ask, but what did she do? Steal something?"

"In a way yes. At the time, I was a beautiful delicate flower about to bloom, yet His Majesty refused to pay attention to me. He wouldn't even give me the time of day! The nerve of that man!"

_'That's not a crime! She was just jealous!'_

"But Shikamaru does have his uses so I took back the order no matter how much I wanted that hussy's head."

_'Now I get it!' _the blond noted, catching sight of a faint blush on the queen's cheeks as she spoke of the king. _'She's got a crush on the guy and she's too scared to admit it. Why else would she do something like that? But if she likes that Shikamaru guy… then what the heck was it that I saw back at Itachi's?! Argh! This is just too confusing!'_

"Oh my!" the Queen of Hearts exclaimed, "Is it night time already? I haven't realized we were talking for so long."

"Well, I guess I'd better be getting back," the boy said, getting up and replacing the stuffed frog he'd been holding.

"Oh must you?" whined the girl, "Stay here at the castle."

"I really should head back. I don't want Sasori to worry."

"Hmph," scoffed the queen, "that _person _is hardly anyone who'd ever care for anyone."

"He does seem that way, but…" defended Naruto.

"I won't have it!" Queen Sakura protested, "If you dare leave now, I'll start beheading servants again," she said, smiling sweetly.

"Fine! I'll stay!" _'Yeesh what a spoiled brat of a bitch!'_

"Right this way Naru-chan!" beamed Kakashi as he led the boy through the castle halls.

"Man, I can't believe how long this night's taking," grumbled Naruto, definitely not enjoying his time with the overzealous and over-amorous rabbit man.

"This 'night' seems to be a longer one than usual," the silver haired man replied, "The time periods are always hard to predict. But I wouldn't mind if this night didn't end at all."

"Look, Kakashi," the blond said, annoyed, "I'm only letting ya show me to a guest room 'cause I'm tired. Once I've had a nice nap, I'm sooooo outta here!"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Naru-chan. Not only would her majesty have another hissy fit, it's become dangerous at night. Lately, there have been corpses found out on the village streets."

"C-C-Corpses?!" the shortest of the two stammered.

"Yes. We don't know who's the culprit though. So please don't go out alone at night."

Naruto sighed heavily, opening the door to the same room he'd been given earlier. "Fine. Whatever."

"If you're scared, I could always stay and…"

"Don't. Even. Think. It!" the boy interrupted, shoving the taller man out of the room.

Kakashi gave a sigh of his own, his ears flattening against his skull in disappointment. "As you wish, Naru-chan," he said, letting the shorter one shut the door behind him.

_'That's weird, Kakashi listened this time.'_

Before he could head over to the bed and rest, there was a knock at the door. Naruto answered it, in spite of the gut instinct to ignore it, immediately wishing he'd obeyed that instinct. Before him stood Kakashi in his rabbit form, the White Rabbit giving his best sad puppy look. "Naaaarrrrruuuuuu-chaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn," he pleaded, "can I stay with yoooooooouuuuuuuuuu now?"

Being one of those who never could resist anything small, cute, and furry, the blond said, "Of course you can, Kaka-kun," then proceeded to pick the smaller animal and carry him into the guestroom. "You know, you should stay like that," he said, placing the Prime Minister on the fluffy bed.

"I would gladly, for you Naru-chan," the silver furred rabbit replied, "but this form does have its drawbacks." Naruto was about to ask what those drawbacks could be, but Kakashi quickly started to change the subject. "So how do you like Wonderland, now that you've spent some time here, Naru-chan?"

"It's not that bad actually," the blond replied, laying down and pulling the covers over the two, "It's way weirder than anything I've ever seen, but I don't hate it anymore."

"That's wonderful to hear Naru-chan. So does that mean you'll stay forever, now?"

"In your dreams, pervy rabbit!" snapped the boy, "if I don't go back soon, Ino-nee-chan will really freak!"

"Naru-chan, listen," the rabbit began, "About your nee-chan… never mind." The boy looked at him quizzically, "You'll go home no matter what I say will you?"

"Of course I will," the blond replied, yawning sleepily, "I've got to get back home."

_'When Mom died, Pa was so devastated that he stopped paying attention to us and started burying himself in his work. Hanabi, my baby sister just couldn't understand why I couldn't cry when they buried Mom, but Ino-nee-chan…she's the only one who'd really miss me if I don't get back.'_

"I don't want you to go, Naru-chan," the White Rabbit whispered when the boy had finally fallen asleep.

As night finally ended and day came to Wonderland, Naruto woke to find himself unusually warm. _'What the?!'_ he wondered, _'Oh right! That pervy rabbit's here!'_ He opened his eyes and blinked hazily. When his sleep clouded mind could finally work, he realized that it wasn't rabbit fur that was making him warm. Sometime during their nap, the silver furred rabbit had returned to his half human form and was now holding the blond close to his thankfully still clothed chest.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed. He leapt backwards, falling onto the floor.

The rabbit man yawned lazily. "Huh?" he asked stifling another yawn, "What's all the noise about, Naru-chan?"

"Y-Y-You pervy rabbit!" the boy yelled then promptly slapped him across the face, a handprint a shade of angry red forming on the taller man's face. "I thought we had a deal here!"

"But Naru-chan," he pleaded, "I was only trying to keep you warm."

"You could have done that as a rabbit!"

"But, it would have been no good Naru-chan. I needed arms so I could hold you close enough. It's rather difficult with just paws."

"Arrgghh!" the shorter blond cried in frustration. He grabbed the nearest thing which happened to be a vase full of red roses and hurled it at the rabbit man. If Kakashi hadn't still been half asleep, he would have normally avoided such a vicious attack. However, as fate would have it, the vase hit its target and the silver haired rabbit man fell back onto the bed unconscious – a very large lump forming on his head. "I HOPE THAT KILLED YOU, YOU DAMNED SNEAKY PERVY RABBIT!" he yelled, storming out of the room and slamming the door.

_'Kakashi really pisses me off!' _ the blond fumed as he made his way through the hedge maze that surrounded the castle. _'Hey, it's Sai.'_

"Hiya Sai!" he called, running over to the Knight of Hearts.

"Oh, hello, Naru-kun. Come to visit the castle?"

"Yah, but I'm on my way back now."

"That's great," beamed the brunet, "you can show me the way out. I've been wondering the maze all night and I just can't seem to find the way out." Naruto gave a small chuckle, but allowed the slightly taller teen to follow him out. "Sasori-san's probably frumious right now since I'm so late finishing the job he gave me," Sai said as they walked through the maze.

"You getting clocks for him again?"

"Sasori-san's told you about…?"

"The Mortician job," finished the shortest of the two.

"And you're still with him? I'm impressed," the knight replied, smiling cheesily, "It is rather atrocious work."

"I-It's not atrocious!" declared Naruto, "It's really important! If people here have clocks for hearts and Sasori fixes them when they break, what can be more respectable than that?!" The knight stared at the boy in awe. No one in Wonderland had ever thought of the redhead's role to be a noble one. "And it still pisses me off," Naruto continued, "that everyone here treats their lives like dirt, just because they know their hearts can be fixed! I'm not that stupid, Sai. I know what you do to get those clocks, you kill people don't you?"

The Knight of Hearts stood silent for a few moments before answering, "Yes. I do sometimes. But I just can't let the clocks get destroyed either."

"You don't have to kill!" protested the blond.

"If I let those people live," Sai said solemnly, "they'll just keep coming back and trying. Don't you think I have a right to protect myself? I only kill them if they attack anyway. When it comes right down to it, one safe clock is worth _more_ than dozens of replaceable people."

"That's a load of crap!" Naruto bellowed, getting more and more angry with each emotionless word the other spoke. "So what if 'roles' can be replaced, people can't Sai! Everyone has their own personality that makes them different!"

"I understand how you feel, Naru-kun, but in this world, faceless people are insignificant. It's just…" Suddenly, they were surrounded by a group of faceless men brandishing all types of weapons. One leered at Naruto and started advancing on the blond, raising his handaxe. Before anyone knew what was going on, Sai drew his sword and with one swipe of the weapon, sliced through three of them. The rest of the thugs ran away in terror.

"As I was saying," the knight continued, smiling as if nothing had happened at all, "those kind words of yours just might be the death of you Naru-kun."

The blond shook and shivered, more unnerved by the brunet's coldness than having seen him kill someone in front of him. "I-It was you," he stammered, "T-Those corpses Kakashi talked about earlier."

"Most likely," Sai admitted, "I seem to get attacked a lot, though it is usually Kakashi-san who sics them on me. He really must hate me a lot for him to do that. Pity. I may not care much for the Prime Minister, but I don't hate him."

"Sai…" the boy started.

"Oh, it looks like we're near the end," interrupted Sai, "Thanks for showing me the way, Naru-kun. I'm off to work now. Jya ne." With that the Knight of Hearts gave a quick wave over his shoulder and strode out of the hedge maze, leaving a very shaken and stunned Naruto.

~TBC~


	9. Chapter 9

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 9

A lone figure smirked as he stalked amongst the outer edges of Heart Castle's hedge maze. The crafty teen dropped to all fours then pounced gracefully up onto the very top of the highest bush. _'Good,' _he thought to himself, _'I'm in.'_ He was about to leapt down into the maze itself when a familiar scent caught his attention. _'That smell...' _He sniffed the air, much like the cat he was, _'It's…'_ Looking around he spotted the source of the scent.

A blond boy sat on his knees in the middle of a group of what appeared to be corpses; a rather distressed expression was on his usually cheer-filled face. The cat boy leapt down from the hedge silently. "Naruto?" he asked cautiously as he approached the shaken boy.

Meanwhile elsewhere…

Sasori didn't bother looking from his work as a superior sounding knock was heard from his workshop door. "Sorry for interrupting," the Hatter yakuza head said as he barged in. Itachi was never one to waste time on unnecessary niceties.

"You don't usually come here for business, Uchiha," quipped the redhead, ignoring the brunet as he continued to work. "What do you want?"

"Hn. You're busy as ever I see."

"Again, what do you want, Itachi Uchiha?" the Mortician snarled.

"Glaring is so unbecoming," the Hatter sneered as he removed his hat and placed it on the small table where Sasori usually had his coffee with Naruto. "You should have known, this was bound to happen," he continued, "I would rather drink laundry water than coming here."

He smirked as he brought his cane up and purposely knocked it against a box of repaired clocks. The box slid off the chair it had been occupying and crashed to the floor, breaking quite a few of the delicate timepieces. The redhead let out a shocked gasp. "I do apologize," Itachi said in mock apology as he sat in the now empty seat, "but I did need the chair."

"Y-You bastard!"

"I know you love your precious clocks so, but I can't bear to look at such filthy things, even if they are mandatory for our continued existence. However, I do admire you, Sasori. Yours is a dirty and thankless job, yet someone has to do it. I couldn't imagine doing what you do, performing a duty that's soaked in sin. I pity you for being condemned to be in such a tiny cell like this."

"Are you done with the preaching?" snapped Sasori, removing his glasses and standing up, glaring at the Hatter, "What makes you think I care about what _you_ or anyone else thinks? I'm a busy man so just get to the point and tell me what the hell it is you came here for!"

"Suit yourself," the raven haired man replied, "I'll make it short and simple. I want Naruto-kun. I'm here to take him back to where he belongs, in my mansion."

Sasori stood shocked for a few moments then let out a laugh. "To think that one such as _you_ would fall for a child like that."

Itachi raised one elegant eyebrow. "Oh, and I suppose you were expecting to allow him to stay here with you. You're not exactly known to be the friendliest of people," he retorted, "Though it does make some sense since outsiders have always been loved by those of us in this world, especially since they have that certain something that makes us want to love them. If that is true, then it'd be safe to say that we're both attracted to the boy, am I correct?"

Sasori said nothing. Instead he continued to glare at the yakuza head.

"You of all people should know," Itachi continued, "how dangerous it is for Naruto-kun to stay here with you. You're the one who's closest to the 'truth' after all. That's even more dangerous than him staying with a criminal like myself. Naruto-kun would be safest at my mansion, don't you think, Mortician?"

"As much as it irks me that I agree with you," replied the redhead, "I refuse to hand him over. It's up to Naruto to decide where he wants to stay. I may eventually hurt him, but if it's Naruto's choice to stay here, I will abide by it."

It was the Hatter's turn to be shocked. He stared at the clock fixer for several moments before sneering once more. "Well, well," he drawled, "it looks like someone's fallen for Naruto-kun pretty hard. You've changed Sasori, now I've become even more intrigued by that boy. I just hope he's worth going through all this trouble." Itachi clutched his cane and stood up. The walking stick glowed and morphed into a machine gun. "I'm sure Naruto-kun wouldn't mind leaving once he sees your lifeless corpse."

The Mortician growled and reached for a pair of pliers. The tool glowed and morphed into a revolver. Itachi fired a few warning shots off to the redhead's side. "I thought you hated wasting time, Sasori," he quipped aiming his weapon at the shorter teen's chest, "You know there's only one way to end this."

"Tch!" Sasori winced, knowing he'd been backed into a corner. However, he wasn't about to give up without a fight. He aimed the revolver and glared at the Hatter, daring the yakuza boss to make the first move.

Itachi grinned as he squeezed the trigger just the slightest bit, wanting to enjoy making the clock fixer suffer. He later regretted not pulling the trigger instantly, for he suddenly found himself face to face with the point of a sword. Before him stood a figure in a tattered cloak and mask. The Hatter snarled and shoved the sword away with his machine gun. The barrel of the weapon hit the newcomer's mask and it was thrown off the person's face before connecting with his skull.

"You always seem to get in my way, Knight of Hearts," the taller brunet spat, "You've become quite the thorn."

"That's not very nice, Itachi-san," Sai said smiling as he touched the side of his head. He winced slightly at the pain and feel of something wet and sticky. "This is a no killing zone after all."

"I should have known it was you who's been giving Deidara such a hard time lately," Itachi said, noticing the currently forgotten mask lying on the floor. "I know when I'm outmatched." He grabbed his hat and returned it to his head while the machine gun glowed and returned to being a simple walking stick. "It'd be a serious shame if I were to destroy even one of your clocks. However, it'd be interesting to see how you'd punish me for that." With that, Itachi Uchiha, head of the Hatter yakuza syndicate strode out of the workshop, slamming the door as he went.

Sai watched expressionlessly as the redhead went about gathering up the now broken clocks. Light brown eyes glanced up at the other teen, a tiny bit of concern showing in them. "Don't worry," he said, placing the box on his desk and returning to his current project, "they're not badly damaged. They just need minor repairs. Tch what an annoying person."

"The Hatter's always been a bit unstable," Sai said, the fake cheesy smile returning to his face, "Though, I don't ever remember him being so stupid as to come here just to break clocks and point a gun at your face."

"He wanted Naruto," the redhead replied, not looking up from his work.

"Naru-kun?" Sai parroted, a dark look coming to his face.

"Yes. He's made it quite clear that he'd take the boy even if Naruto refused to go with him. He has to be warned."

"Naru-kun has to learn to be more careful, doesn't he? Since we all love our dear, Naru-kun, ne Sasori-san?"

Back at Heart Castle…

Gaara's teal eyes narrowed in concern at the motionless blond. "Naruto?" he called again, but got no response. The Cheshire Cat was at a loss as what to do. Outsiders were so different from the inhabitants of Wonderland and he had so little experience dealing with them. He didn't know what would be the proper course of action for such a situation as this.

Meanwhile, the knight's words kept running through the blond's mind. _"I thought what I told Sai was common sense,"_ Naruto thought, _"But I'm always forgetting this place isn't like back home."_

"Naruto?" Gaara tried yet again, this time shaking the boy gently.

Naruto slowly blinked, coming out of his musings. "Gaara?" he asked, shocked to see the cat boy holding onto his shoulders.

"You okay?" the Cheshire Cat asked, still concerned by the corpses surrounding them. "They didn't hurt you did they? If you need help…"

"It's ok, Gaara," Naruto replied, giving him a forced smile. The redhead wanted to press on, but decided against it; thinking that it'd be better if the blond told him when he was ready. "I'm not hurt."

"Good. I was worried when I found you here dazed with all these bodies. For a moment I thought…"

"Wait a sec, why are you here Gaara? You sneakin' into the castle again?"

"N-No!" the slightly taller teen replied hastily, blushing. "Well… maybe," he admitted sheepishly. "But I'm making sure I don't get hurt this time."

"Hmph. You'd better," scolded Naruto.

"Yes sir! I mean, well duh. I really want to see you again, and if I get really hurt I can't right?"

_"What could I expect from Sai?"_ Naruto thought, spacing out again, _"I mean, it took all this time just to get Gaara to realize that him getting killed would upset me. Just what was I thinking… trying to talk some sense into these people?!"_

"Naruto?" Gaara called, waving a hand in front of the boy's face.

"Oh sorry, Gaara I was thinking for a sec."

"I just wanted to know if you'd like to come play with me at the amusement park. I know Lee gave you a free pass."

Naruto sat there for a bit, considering the cat boy's offer. "Yeah he did, but it's back at Sasori's."

"Oh. But maybe they'll let you in if we explain. Besides, we all know you."

"Um… I think I should go back and…"

"Don't worry so much," Gaara said, giving him a mischievous grin, "I'm sure there'd be no problem in letting you in." Teal eyes narrowed in disgust as a bunch of shadowy after images appeared off in the distance. He needed to get the poor traumatized boy out of there and quick. "You're coming," he said with a tone that left no room for objection. "You need to get your mind off of these guys," he said gesturing at the corpses.

Naruto nodded and let the Cheshire Cat help him up. The two then headed back out the hedge maze, Gaara's arm around the blond's shoulders.

"Okaeri, Gaara-sama!" greeted the green spandex clad faceless girl as the cat boy and Naruto approached the amusement park entrance.

"And welcome, Naruto-dono," her male counterpart added, "we have been informed that Naruto-dono has an unlimited pass, if you'd please follow us."

"See? Told you so," Gaara whispered to the blond as they were led into the park. "You think too much."

"Yeah, I seem to be told that a lot these days."

"You're here to have fun," chided the redhead, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards one of the many rides, "so stop thinking so much."

Naruto and Gaara were sitting at one of the park's quaint bistro tables sipping cold drinks after a hard days' riding almost every single ride Lee's amusement park had to offer.

"My friends!" the spandex clad owner called, bounding over to them exuberantly. "This time I have come up with the most excellent ride! It'll knock your socks off!"

"That's great Lee!" Naruto said.

"Indeed my youthful friend! It embodies the very fires of youth! I call it the Jet Coaster Coffee Cup!"

"Lee…" Gaara said, glaring at the bushy browed teen, "Don't tell me… it's some monstrous combination of the tea cup ride and a coaster."

"That's it exactly my feline friend. It's guaranteed to make your heart beat most youthfully! The cups spin until you can't see straight while racing on the tracks! Our customers will scream with the most youthful passion ever!"

_"That doesn't sound fun at all!"_ was the joined thoughts of the cat boy and blond.

"Uh… sounds really awesome, Lee," Naruto said laughing nervously. "too bad we can't ride it now." _"There's no way I'd ride anything like that! I'd rather keep my lunch! Believe it!"_

"Yes," Lee agreed, frowning ruefully, "It is a great shame the ride isn't ready yet with you so excited, Naruto."

"Heh, heh… well ya know what they say, safety first and all that."

"I wouldn't tease him like that, Naruto," the redhead whispered, "He'd think you actually mean it."

The green spandex clad park owner snapped his fingers and one of the countless faceless attendants came bringing a bright green hard hat. "Oh that's not a problem, my youthful friend. We can do the safety testing ourselves!" he said, putting on the helmet.

The other two paled as he once again snapped his fingers and an enormous horde of attendants came rushing over.

Before he knew what was happening, Naruto and Gaara were being dragged and shoved all through the park until all three were seated in a tea cup that had been attached to a set of roller coaster tracks.

"W-W-We're really gonna do this?!" Naruto stammered in apprehension, "How come you're the only one with a helmet?!"

"Oh, this is just for show," Lee said, clueless to the bond's major discomfort, "There are rules here that require helmets while doing test runs. Rest assured, my youthful friend, we've haven't had that many accidents in the past."

"W-W-Wait a sec, Lee! What do you mean by 'that many'?!" _'I don't wanna be a guinea pig! _"Lemme off!"

The poor boy let out a rather girlish scream as the cup began to spin at an unholy pace and then dropped down the tracks at an even faster speed.

"…to?" The blond's eyes fluttered heavily, but refused to open. "Naruto?" the voice called again, but the boy still would not open his eyes. "Naruto!" The boy's eyes shot open, and he gasped and sat straight up, knocking the damp washcloth off his forehead and into his lap. "Where am I... I don't feel so good," he croaked, his throat hoarse from all the screaming he did.

"You're in the first aid room," Gaara replied, wiping the blond's forehead with the cool cloth and helping him to sit up more comfortably.

"I am truly sorry for earlier," Lee said mournfully.

"Seriously, Lee…" Gaara hissed, "You're so rough mannered, no matter it's so hard to believe you're a duke."

Naruto let out a shocked snort. "Whoa! Wait a sec! Bushy Brows here is a Duchess?!"

"Duke actually," Gaara said smirking at the blond's slip – Lee did have a very feminine name after all. "To tell the truth, that's the only impressive thing about him."

"Gaara-kun!" whined Lee, "Being the owner of a successful business that embodies the very flames of youth themselves is impressive too! I really must apologize, Naruto. I misread your excitement. I'm more used to happy youthful screams. You came with Gaara-kun… I just wanted to make your youthful date more enjoyable."

"D-D-Date?!" both teens stuttered, blushing profusely.

"They are a rather cute couple," a female attendant piped, grinning, "walking through the park like lovers in the springtime of youth!"

"I must congratulate you my feline friend!" Lee crowed, rubbing the cat boy's head between the ears. "Our melancholy kitty's feeling the heat of the fires of passion at last! I should have seen sooner that he came here the first time because of you."

"Y-You have it all wrong Lee!" Gaara stuttered, "I only brought Naruto here because he was depressed." The Cheshire Cat looked away from the still blushing blond, not wanting them to see him blush any longer. "I just… I just wanted to cheer him up."

"Gaara…" Naruto said, surprised. "That's… really nice of ya," he said smiling shyly. _"Just like that time… the time he told me that stupid pun. Gaara's really a kind guy. He makes me feel more relaxed with him around, too."_ "thanks Gaara. You did cheer me up."

The slightly taller teen blushed before giving the blond a shy grin.

"Ahh the passion of youthful love!" squealed the bushy browed boy. "Naruto! Allow me to give you some platinum passes in apology for what happened. He then shoved two shiny silver plastic cards into the blond's hands. "They will let you on any ride without having to wait in line. You can use them now if you're feeling better, or perhaps you'd like to come back with Gaara-kun…"

A rather devious plan popped into the sun haired boy's head. "Hey Gaara…" he started, "What's the stupidest ride ya've got?"

"I've got the perfect one," the Cheshire Cat replied, grinning devilishly, catching on. "Almost no one ever wants to ride the Merry-Go-Round."

Lee flinched at the obvious jab to his true name. Oh how he loathed that name!

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

"If Naruto chooses to live with someone else," Neji said as he hovered in front of Sasori, "what will you do about it? Do enlighten me, Sasori."

"It's his choice to make," replied the clock fixer stoically, "I won't _do_ anything."

"Hmph. Really? Even if our dear Naruto wishes to remain with the Hatter?"

"Naruto is smarter than any of you give him credit for," the redhead huffed, "He knows just how dangerous_** that**_ man is."

"Is that what you think?" the dream demon asked, smirking smugly. "I guess he hasn't told you, has he?" he continued, appearing just behind the taller teen to whisper in his ear. "Itachi Uchiha is the splitting image of Naru-dear's former love. A rather odd coincidence wouldn't you think?"

Sasori's brown eyes widened at that little revelation before narrowing in sheer dislike. "What do you think you're trying to do?! You filthy…"

"Trying to do?" parroted Neji, still smirking. "I'm doing what we **all **are trying to do. And that is make Naru-dear happy."

"I should have known you'd be in league with that annoying Hatake," snarled the clock fixer.

"Again, is that what you think?"

"Listen Neji," Sasori said, the tone of his voice making the temperature take a sudden drop, "If Naruto truly does wish to live at the Hatter's mansion, I _**will not**_ stop him from leaving. That would be the wrong thing to do."

"I've brought Naruto back," Gaara announced as he walked into Sasori's workshop. "I must admit, I wanted to spend more time with him, but Naruto insisted that you were worried."

"Not really," the older redhead replied icily, not bothering to look up from his work.

The cat boy raised a non existent eyebrow. "Whatever. Stop hiding and come in already Naruto."

"I-I'm home," came a nervous greeting from the blond as he cautiously made his way into the workshop. Sasori's eyes bugged out at the sight before him. Naruto had a pair of reddish orange fox ears on the top of his head and matching paw gloves on his hands, which one was holding onto a bunch of balloons. A big fluffy white tipped tail of the same reddish orange color was strapped around his waist.

~TBC~

LnM: Squee! Kawaii! (glomps foxie Naru)

Naru: Hey! Cut it out! Why'd ya have to make me wear this stupid kiddie stuff?!

Sakura: Aww, but you're soooooo cute Naruto! (glomps Naru)

Naru: S-S-Sakura-chan?!

Ino: He's just too adorable for words!

Naru: N-N-Not you too, Ino?!

Ita: Would you ladies kindly release **my** fox?

LnM, Sakura, Ino: fainting from exposure to Uchiha smexiness.

Ita: Hn. Works every time. (drags Naru off to only L-sama knows where -_^)

Sai: I must remember that for next time. ^_^ It appears that it has been left to me to ask for reviews. If you like what Sakura-san wrote, then let her know. She always seems in a better mood if she gets a review. ^_^


	10. Chapter 10

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 10

"I-I'm home," came a nervous greeting from the blond as he cautiously made his way into the workshop. Sasori's eyes bugged out at the sight before him. Naruto had a pair of reddish orange fox ears on the top of his head and matching paw gloves on his hands, which one was holding onto a bunch of balloons. A big fluffy white tipped tail of the same reddish orange color was strapped around his waist.

"You look ridiculous," the clock fixer said icily.

"I told you he'd hate it, Gaara!" wailed Naruto, hiding his red face behind the paw gloves.

"Must you be a stick in the mud?" groused Gaara, "Even you have to admit Naruto's cute like this, even if it's just a little silly. He did this for you, you know. He's always saying that you hardly leave and you're always grumpy."

Truthfully, the Mortician did think the blond was adorable dressed like that. But Sasori wasn't about to admit that out loud, especially in front of others.

"G-G-Gaara! Don't tell him that!" the blond stuttered, trying to shove the redhead out the door.

"Why not? I didn't even work."

"J-J-Just shut it ok?! It's nighttime anyway!" the petite blond said, noticing the now dark sky, and started shoving the reluctant cat boy harder. "Go home! I've gotta go to bed so good night, Gaara!"

"Fine," Gaara said a tad hurt, "I'll see you later, Naruto."

"Man, I can't believe I let that crazy cat talk me into that!" Naruto grumbled yanking off the ears and tail – after removing the gloves of course. "I knew it wasn't a good idea to wear this stuff **outside** the park."

"I admit, it wasn't like you," Sasori said, coming over to the now scotch taped table after getting some more coffee.

"Yeah I know… that's why I did it. I thought it'd make you laugh because it wasn't like me."

"Use your brain next time," the taller redhead said placing a cup of coffee before the boy, "You should have known by now that most people here have animal ears and tails. I've gotten used to their stupidity."

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that, heh, heh," Naruto said rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. _"Geez I feel even more of a dobe now! Stupid ex! Why does he always have to be right?!" _

"Hey, Sasori," he piped, finally noticing the shoddily repaired table, "what happened to the table? It's all taped up."

"Nothing for you to concern yourself with," the clock fixer replied, coolly, "a few distasteful things happened while you were out."

"What do you mean distasteful?" The blond was about to press further, then noticed that there were quite a bit more clocks on the redhead's desk than before. "I'm really sorry for being gone so long, Sasori. I would've been here to help with those."

"I appreciate your offer," the taller teen said, with a tiny smile, "But my work isn't your responsibility."

"But I _want_ it to be!" protested Naruto, "I'm really don't want to be a freeloader, Sasori! Let me help, please! I'm not even tired! I can stay up some more."

"Naruto…" Sasori began, Neji's words running through his mind, "Did you have a good time at Lee's?"

"Yeah, I had a great time! Though there was that one ride…"

"I suppose you'll be moving over to the park then."

"Huh?! W-W-Where did _that _come from?!"

"Or you can move into the castle since you and Kakashi Hatake seem to have some kind of arrangement with his rabbit form."

"S-Sasori!"

"Hear me out. Think about it, Naruto," the clock maker said, his brown eyes focused intently on the boy. "you wouldn't be feeling like a freeloader elsewhere. I know you're the type that's always has to be doing something and I can't change that. But wouldn't you feel easier staying at a territory that's not so bogged down with work?"

"Now you hear _**me**_ out!" yelled the shorter teen, slamming his hands down on Sasori's desk and making several of the clocks to jump slightly, "Yeah, your work does creep me out a bit, but I'm comfortable _**here**_! There's no way I'm gonna be moving out! Believe it!"

"Comfortable?" the Mortician parroted. He sighed and looked away from those expressive sapphire pools, "Itachi Uchiha was here a short while ago."

"He… he came here?!"

"Yes. It appears that he wants you to live with him."

Naruto's eyes bugged out and his mouth started moving, but no words came out. "M-Me?! Move in with him?!" he finally got out.

"I suppose that makes you happy to know that he has so much interest in you," Sasori said bitterly, "and I'm sure you've been thinking of him quite a lot."

"W-What the heck are you talking about, Sasori?! Answer me, damn it!"

"_I'm doing what we __**all **__are trying to do. And that is make Naru-dear happy."_

The clock fixer was silent for several moments as he continued to go over what the dream demon had told him not so long ago. "…do whatever you want, Naruto," he said, coldly and going back to his work. "If you want to move out, fine, I won't stop you. You don't have to worry about the clocks any more. Decide where you're happiest and live there."

"_I… I don't wanna move out. But maybe _Sasori's_ the one who's uncomfortable with having someone stay with him. I should have been paying better attention to what the others were saying about him being the loner type."_

"F-Fine," Naruto said smiling shakily, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes, "I can take a hint." A single tear dripped off his cheek and into his cup of coffee. _"NO! It's not that I'm staying here just because he didn't say I couldn't! I…"_

"I-I don't want to live anywhere else!" Naruto shouted, tears falling freely from his cerulean depths now. "You're the o-only one who r-really makes me feel safe!" Sasori gasped and stared at the weeping boy in shock. No one had ever told him that they would feel safe with him around.

"You w-want me to choose, Sasori?! Then I choose to s-stay here! T-That's what _**I **_want! You happy now?!"

"If that's what you want…" the older teen said, totally flummoxed by the boy's tears and barely controlled sobs. "Just stop crying."

"I-It doesn't matter what I want does it?" Naruto asked, turning to the door, "I know you really don't want me here, Sasori."

"No I don't," he said getting up and going over to him.

"But you're always…!"

Both teens got the shock of their lives when the stoic loner of a clock fixer crossed the short distance between the two and pulled the petite blond into an enormous bear hug. "I'm sorry Naruto," the taller one whispered into his ear. "I never meant to make you cry. Besides, I… I can never figure out what to do when you cry."

"S-Sasori…" He didn't know what to say. All Naruto could do was just let the Mortician hold him close. Oddly enough, the soft tick-tick-tick of Sasori's heartbeat didn't unnerve him as Sai's had.

Meanwhile…

Gaara strolled lazily through Tulgey wood. "Night was short this time," he mused to no one in particular as the sky was now light again. "I hope Naruto got enough sleep. Hmm?" The cat boy paused and sniffed the air. "I smell blood."

The Cheshire Cat felt his excitement rising with each step he took toward the source of the blood. Eventually he came upon a cloaked figure covered in blood a few feet up ahead and corpses strewn around him; the sword he'd been carrying dripping with the crimson substance as well.

Gaara gave an appreciative whistle at the carnage laid before his teal eyes. "What was all this about?" he asked curiously, his finger on the trigger of his gun. "Did you do all this?"

"_He's wearing a cape. I've heard about him… but he smells very familiar."_

"Who are you?"

The cloaked man turned around, an eerily fake smile on his masked face. "Hello there, kitty-cat," he said with the same false cheer.

"I-It can't be!" Gaara cried, as the Knight of Hearts removed the mask.

"Well if it isn't the Cheshire Cat," Sai said smiling dangerously.

Back at Sasori's…

"Uh… Sasori," Naruto said, wincing slightly, "You're kinda crushing me here, I can't breathe."

The taller teen blinked then quickly released the blond, blushing heavily. "Sorry… are you feeling better now?"

"Y-Yeah. Thanks. But it was getting real hard to breathe with your jacket in my mouth."

"What would you expect?" the clock fixer huffed, "I'm not exactly used to this… living with someone else. Your crying is really inconvenient."

"I-Inconvenient?! Are you saying that you were trying to suffocate me on purpose?! S-Sasori you bastard!" The tears that had finally stopped quickly returned, welling up at the corner of the smaller one's eyes.

"N-Not again!" Sasori cried horrified.

"Hmph! I ain't gonna cry!" spat Naruto indignantly, "You'll try to choke me again!"

"Look, Naruto, I… I said things the wrong way. Just forget I even said anything. As for you staying here, I don't have time for crybabies. But if you leaving here makes you cry, then don't leave."

"Um… okay. Thanks I think," the blond said flummoxed. "I… I'm uh… gonna go take a nap. I'm beat."

"Whatever," the Mortician replied, sitting back at his desk, "Do what you want."

"Honestly," grumbled Neji, "He's such an idiot."

"I know," Naruto replied, sitting on the gray wasteland, "I can't even tell if Sasori's really a nice guy or a stupid jerk half the time! But he wouldn't be Sasori if I could right?"

Neji couldn't help smiling at that. "It's a waste actually."

"A waste?" parroted the blond.

"If Sasori has feelings for you, he should just come out and say it. Who knows you two might actually work out if you got together."

"W-W-W-What?!" sputtered Naruto blushing profusely, "T-T-T-There's nothing like that with Sasori 'n' me! Yeah he's nice to me… most of the time, but that doesn't mean he likes me! I like the guy, but only as a friend! In fact I think all of you guys are my friends too. Now that I know ya a bit better, there's a lots of stuff I like about you guys…. well maybe not _those_ two." The blond shuddered slightly as visions of Itachi and Kakashi ran though his head. "Anyway, ya don't have to be in love to have a relationship with someone. I like making friends. So that means I like ya too, Neji."

The dream demon stared at the younger teen nonplussed for several minutes before choking and coughing up blood.

"Hey! You okay?" Naruto shouted, dashing over to the now kneeling brunet and fussing over him.

"I-I'm… fine," the dream demon coughed, "it's just… you made me happy. You seem to be fitting in here quite well, Naru-dear. You've made friends, have fun with them. Do you still want to leave Wonderland, now that you're beginning to find a place here?"

"W-What are you talking about Neji?! Of course I want to go home! I… I have to go home! That's why I'm having so much fun here. I'm not going to stay here forever, so I'm trying to make my time here worth it."

"…I see," Neji said, sitting next to him. "How typical of you to say something like that, Naru-dear."

Back with Gaara and Sai…

"So that's how it is," the Cheshire Cat said, never taking his eyes off the hooded Knight of Hearts, nor his gun, "You're doing Sasori's work. Don't you _**already**_ have a job? I won't tell your mistress about this though, it's pointless. She'd never get rid of you even if I _**did**_ tell. Why bother with all this? It's no secret you hate your real job, but you can't escape from it. None of us can."

"I am well aware of that," Sai said, finally lowering his hood. "That's the rules of this world. So it's pretty much pointless for me to wear this mask and cape, since no one can see me unless I am doing my proper duty."

"Pathetic," Gaara muttered, coldly, "I was curious about that masked guy in a cape and wanted to find him so I could have a bit of fun. I've found him, but I'm no longer interested. I'll play with you the next time I sneak into the castle, Knight of Hearts." The cat boy then turned and started to walk away.

"You're right of course," Sai replied, "it won't matter if anyone sees me like this. At any rate, I can't loiter around here; I still have to get back to the Clock Tower."

"Now?"

The taller brunet raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you understood. I am helping out there after all."

"I meant, you're going looking like_** that**_?"

_ "So what if 'roles' can be replaced, people can't Sai!"_ Naruto's previous words ran through the knight's mind.

"Take that stuff off, it'll scare, Naruto," the Cheshire Cat growled, his teal eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Naruto?" Sai parroted, "He already knows. He didn't freak out or anything like that. In fact, he was typically Naruto. He gave me quite the scolding, told me not to kill even if someone was trying to kill _me_." Gaara stared in astonishment.

"You scum!" hissed the shorted redhead, frumious at the memory of finding the traumatized blond in the hedge maze, "You killed in front of him didn't you?! How could you do that to him! Naruto isn't like _**us**_! He values life!"

"As an outsider, he _is_ entitled to his opinion," the Knight of Hearts drawled, smiling cheesily. "But it won't change the way things are in this world. It won't change just because he showed up."

Gaara said nothing, just lowered his head and looked away.

"My my, looks like you've fallen for him, kitty cat," Sai smiled cheesily, "It's interesting that you all are always fussing over Naru-kun like this. So interesting, that I've got an idea. I think I'll kill him, and watch what happens next. There's no rule against killing outsiders, so why not try it?"

The Cheshire Cat growled and hissed, his hair standing straight up. The irate redhead raised his gun and aimed it at the now leaving brunet. "I WON'T LET YOU HARM HIM!" he snarled.

~TBC~

Sakura: I know, I know. I'm an evil little you-know-what. ^_^

Tobi: Tobi's not as scary as you nee-chan. Tobi would _**never**_ force Tobi's parents to listen to that reeeeeaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyy scary Smurfs record. Nope, nope. Tobi's a good boy!

Dei: Yeah, that thing's pure evil, un!

Sakura: Hey! I was a just a kid back then! Lay off! 'Sides I loooooove Smurfs! They're sooooo cute!

Xellos: And they say _**I'm**_ the twisted one. ^_^

Sakura: Et tu, Xel?! T_T

Sasuke: Well, at least she doesn't have it anymore.

Kakashi: Thank goodness for that. ^_\

Sakura: Oh I wouldn't say that just yet. ^_^

Sasori: You didn't….!

Sakura: ^_^

Kakashi: Oh sweet kami, she did! 0_\

Oro: Good thing I had Kabuto tell you where to download it then?

Sakura: Yep. Thanks Oro-sama! I've _**missed**_ that thing! I looooooove broadband. Anyhoo, lemme know what you think ppl.


	11. Chapter 11

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 11

"My my, looks like you've fallen for him, kitty cat," Sai smiled cheesily, "It's interesting that you all are always fussing over Naru-kun like this. So interesting, that I've got an idea. I think I'll kill him, and watch what happens next. There's no rule against killing outsiders, so why not try it?"

The Cheshire Cat growled and hissed, his hair standing straight up. The irate redhead raised his gun and aimed it at the now leaving brunet. "I WON'T LET YOU HARM HIM!" he snarled.

The gun went off, missing the slightly taller teen. "And just where were you aiming?" the Knight of Hearts quipped, giving him his patented false smile. "You didn't even graze me. If you truly wish to kill me… you should aim here," he continued, placing a hand over his 'heart'. "Or don't you want to, kitty cat?"

Gaara did want to get rid of that annoying man. With him out of the way, he'd have more of a chance with the adorable outsider. But would Naruto really want him to do such a thing? Sighing, the Cheshire Cat lowered his weapon.

"This is new," Sai said still smiling that disgustingly cheesy grin. "I thought you were going to protect Naru-kun from big bad me. You two would have made a good couple, yet you gave up… just like that."

"Oh I see now," the brunet continued, "You realize this game will go on with or without him, so why bother protect an outsider. Is that it?"

"You're wrong."

"Oh?"

"I'd just make Naruto cry if I killed you," the cat boy replied.

Sai gave a mirthless laugh. "Surely you are joking. Naru-kun wouldn't cry for me; we aren't lovers after all. On top of that, I can always be replaced."

"I know, and you know. But either of us dying would _**still**_ make him cry," retorted Gaara. "I did try to explain things, but Naruto said that I could _**never**_ truly be replaced. I'm sure he feels the same about the rest of us. That's why I can't kill you. Naruto knows you."

The brunet gave a wry chuckle. "Your killing me will make Naru-kun cry? But if you _don't_ kill me, I could _still_ kill _him_. How like one of your riddles Cheshire Cat. How can you save the boy? Let me break his heart or break his neck?"

"NEITHER!" growled the cat boy, raising his gun once more, "I may not be able to kill you, but I _**will**_ stop you!" He fired the gun one more time, this time aiming for the Knight's legs.

"Who knew you were such a romantic?" jeered Sai, "But you know; you can't stop an elite swordsman by aiming for his legs."

With lightning speed born of years of practice and training, the Knight of Hearts drew his sword and slashed at the Cheshire Cat's gun arm. The blade went snicker-snack and severed he gun from the chain connected to Gaara's collar, then sent it flying toward him. Sai then used his sword like a hook and jammed the tip into one of the chain links, jerking the metal stick back towards himself. The shorter redhead was pulled along by the momentum and fell face down onto the forest ground.

"You really should stop being so naïve. I'm getting annoyed enough as it is with Naru-kun," the brunet said, stepping on the weapon. "So now, I guess I'll have to kill you both. Sayonara, neko-chan!"

Gaara groaned as the Knight of Hearts raised his sword, holding the weapon with both hands and pointing it downwards. The Cheshire Cat groped desperately for his gun and thankfully was able to wrench it from under the other teen's foot. With the speed all cats had, the redhead raised the gun and fired, this time grazing the Knight's upper right arm. However, Sai had already struck the cat boy in the chest.

Gaara's last ditch effort had caused the sword's aim to be off just enough for it to be not fatal. Sai had missed his heart by mere millimeters. Also it had given him the distraction needed to get away. For just as Sai had turned his head to examine his injury, the cat boy made an adrenaline fueled leap into the bushes along the side of the road.

"Tch. He escaped," the knight grumbled, "He's fast, I'll give him that. Well, I'd better head back to the tower anyway."

Gaara gave a pained yelp as he attempted to staunch the blood flow with just one hand. "That bastard had to aim for the vital spots did he?" he hissed, "Now Naruto's gonna get mad at me again." Teal eyes widened as he watched the taller brunet from his hiding spot. The idiot was heading in the **wrong** direction! _"I should have known,"_ Gaara grumbled to himself.

Breathing a small sigh of relief, the cat boy started to get up, groaning and wincing slightly as he shakily got to his feet; his hand still pressed tightly to the wound. "Since he's always getting lost, I can get to the tower before he does," he said forcing himself onto the forest path. "I've got to get to Naruto!"

Meanwhile, a certain blond cutie was slumbering peacefully, sprawled out on his nice comfy bed when a series of creaks, clanks, and thunks woke him up. "S-Sasori?" he called, groggily, still half asleep. There was another thunk for a reply, a much louder and closer one. _"Is it a customer?"_ the boy wondered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and getting out of bed.

Upon opening the door, he gave an 'eep' in shock. Lying on the floor in front of his room with his clothes all torn and slashed up was…

"Gaara!"

Seeing that the Cheshire Cat was hurt badly, Naruto rushed to his friend's side and began to gingerly roll the redhead onto his back "Are you okay?!" he asked, sapphire gems hardening at the blood matted crop top.

"N-Naru…" Gaara mewled plaintively.

"What happened?!" the blond demanded, "What the heck were you doing to get so hurt?!"

"S-Sorry, Naruto…" he replied weakly, "I broke my promise… to be careful… I'm sorry I made you… angry."

"I'm not just angry!" shouted Naruto, "I'm worried sick! You stay put, I'm gonna go find a doctor or something!"

As he was about to get up, Gaara used every bit of strength he could to latch on to the smaller teen's arm. "Y… You can't!" he panted, "It's too… dangerous. "The Knight… of Hearts…" The Cheshire Cat gave out a pained cough then promptly passed out.

"Gaara! Hey! Gaara!" Naruto cried frantically, "W-W-What about Sai?! Come on! Get up! Gaara!"

Meanwhile at the Hatter's…

The current head of the Hatter yakuza was enjoying a nice relaxing bath in the mansion's pool sized marble tub, well it would have been relaxing if it weren't for a certain pair of twins and a hair triggered hare.

"Hey lookit, otouto!" Tobi squealed behind his orange swirled mask – he rarely took it off – as he dumped one of the many vases of flowers into the far side of the tub.

"Cool Tobi-nii!" Obito said, watching the blooms start to float and spread about.

"I bet that'll make it reeeeeaalllll hard for the maids to clean up now!" the masked twin squealed in mischievous glee.

"Yep, they'll get caught in the drains and stuff!" the younger twin added conspiratorially.

"And it's funny 'cause we're not the ones who'll have to do it!" The twins laughed raucously at their nasty little trick on the poor house staff.

"For the love of…!" muttered Deidara, chewing on a carrot sandwich. "Why don't ya two drown yourselves while you're at it, un! How can I relax with ya carryin' on over there, un?! I really don't need this! Not after the week I've had, un!"

"Deidara-san's drunk!" teased Tobi.

"Hey, get lost drunk rabbit!" Obito added, not liking having their playtime interrupted.

"I was here first, un! You brats get out! I'm older so I get to stay, un!"

"First in has to be first out!" the masked twin whined.

"You don't want your brain to melt if you stay any longer, bunny!"

"What did you say, un?!"

"That's enough," came Itachi's calm voice, the barest tinge of annoyance coloring it as he sipped his sake, "It's bad enough there's four men in the bath, must you make it worse?"

"Oi! Ya heard the boss, un!" the March Hare shouted, jumping up, splashing the yakuza head.

"Deidara," the raven haired man chided in warning, "yelling at them isn't making it any quieter. Sit down."

"Boss Itachi's right," Tobi piped, "It's no fun washing with a bunch of geezers!"

"We'd rather wash up with the nice nii-chan than the _**dumb **_chickie rabbit and his _**dumb**_brain, ne Tobi-nii?"

"W-With Naruto, un?!" sputtered the blond rabbit man. He started to blush heavily as images of a certain blond outsider wearing nothing but a towel came to mind, _"Bathing… with Naruto, un…"_

"H-Hey! Aren't ya two a bit young for that?! Ya perverted brats, un!" Deidara yelled, jumping back up again. "W-What were ya thinking of doin' after bathin' with… with…"

"Hey, why're you all red, Deidara-san?" the older twin asked curiously, "We didn't say anything."

"Yeah!" piped the younger of the two, "We still kids! You're the one's who a perv! We just wanna play pirates 'n' stuff with the nii-chan."

"Deidara-san's a dumb pervy rabbit!"

"Pervy dummy rabbit!"

"W-What?!" sputtered the March Hare, crossing his arms uffishly, "I would never make anyone do somethin' they wouldn't like, un! 'Sides I'd only bathe with Nauto-kun if he'd wanted to… but he'd probably wouldn't, un."

"Hn," the yakuza boss interjected, as he took another sip of sake, "I wouldn't think that, Deidara. That little kitsune isn't as innocent as you'd think."

"What makes ya say that Itachi, un?" he asked, sitting back down.

"I'm certain Naruto-kun would have no problem jumping right in with all of us here."

"Ya think so?"

"Why not? He seems to excel at seducing any man he runs into," Itachi replied, smirking maliciously.

Deidara stared at his friend and employer. Just what was going on with him? He knew something had to have happened between the outsider boy and the Hatter, but Itachi was being even more close-lipped than ever. Plus it wasn't like him to make such malicious comments, true or otherwise, about others; Itachi rarely expressed interest in anyone or anything.

"Say, when do you think the nii-chan will come play with us again?" Tobi asked, interrupting the March Hare's musing.

"Yeah," Obito added, "We never get 'nuff time to play, Tobi-nii. And he hasn't come back since the last time."

"…Naruto was crying then, un. When he was in your room, un."

"Boss Itachi made the nii-chan cry?!" both twins cried in surprise.

"Just what went on between ya that day, Itachi?" the blond rabbit man demanded.

"…I'm done here, Deidara," the raven haired man said, placing his cup on the floating tray and getting out of the tub, "I've been soaking long enough. Now if you have enough time to poke into my private affairs, then you have time to leave here and get back to work." With that, the Hatter strode through the bathroom door, slamming it.

"Boss Itachi got in a bad mood," Tobi noted.

"Yeah," Obito agreed, "Stupid chickie rabbit made him mad!"

"…Ita."

A couple hours later, Itachi Uchiha strolled through the roses in the forbidden part of the Hatter's garden. _"I saw you, you womanizer! You were with Queen Sakura in the rose garden!"_ Naruto's previous words running through his head, _"Y-Y-Ya g-g-gon…na kill… the qu..een next… 'cause… y-y-you l-l-lo…ove her?"_

"Hn. Love her, eh?" he whispered, fingering the petals of one of the copious scarlet blooms.

"Evenings are truly the best, aren't they?" Itachi turned around. The Queen of Hearts was standing there, her hands behind her back as she stared up at the twilight sky. A gentle, wistful smile was on her lovely face. "The red of the evening sky is like blood and it calms my heart."

Both role holders stood there silently for several moments, neither finding the need to say anything, content with watching the evening sky. "These gorgeous roses you've raised," Sakura started, gently cupping a delicate rose nearby, "are like an eternal evening here on the ground. They are really beautiful. In fact this is the most wonderful garden of all."

"Of course it is," Itachi said, without a single hint of pride or arrogance in his tone, "I did all I could to make it perfect. Just so you could be happy." He gently cupped the queen's cheek, "They bloom for no one but you."

"I hope I did it right," Naruto whispered as he cut the last bit of gauze. Gaara was now lying on his bed after much struggling to get the still unconscious Cheshire Cat off the floor and into the blond's room. "Geez… why did Sasori have to go out? I hope he gets back soon, he'll know how to fix ya up Gaara. I know it! But… what was it you were trying to tell me?"

"_It's too… dangerous. "The Knight… of Hearts…" The Cheshire Cat gave out a pained cough then promptly passed out._

"Wait! If Sai's the Knight of Hearts, does that mean that he did this to Gaara?! But why did ya come here instead of gettin' help? It kinda sounded ya were warning me about Sai." The blond jumped out of the chair he'd placed by the bed, half expecting to see the slightly taller brunet ready to attack him right there and then.

"Hey! Get a hold of yourself, Uzumaki!" he scolded, "I'm not thinking right here! I mean I've hung out with Sai a bunch of times and he hadn't… but he's been acting weird, well weirder than usual, lately."

Naruto wrapped his arms around himself as he began to remember the last time he'd been with the Knight of Hearts; the amount of violence and bloodshed he'd witnessed as the brunet cold bloodedly fought a group of faceless men.

A knocking on the bedroom door snapped the boy back to the here and now, "Naruto?" came Sasori's voice, "I'm coming in."

"Oh! Sasori!" the shorter boy cried, running over to the taller redhead as he entered the room. "Boy am I glad to see you! I've got a bit of an emergency!"

"Let me guess," Sasori said, eyeing the figure on Naruto's bed warily, "It's got to do with that cat on your bed."

"Um… ya see…"

"I saw the mess out in the hall. I know Gaara's more than capable of taking care of himself, unless he was fighting someone with elite skills."

"Um… I really wanna get a doctor, but I can't just leave Gaara like this."

"Fine. I'll get the doctor. He didn't make an appointment so I don't want him dying in my tower just yet." The clock fixer then turned to leave.

"Sasori!" called Naruto, worry coloring his voice, "…um be careful, 'k?" The Mortician glanced quizzically over his shoulder at the boy. "I mean… you uh… might run into the creep who did that to him."

"I am fully aware of that Naruto. I'll be back."

And without another glance, Sasori left, closing the door behind him as he passed through.

~TBC~

Hooboy! Is this some ride or what folks? Will Gaara make it? Will Sasori fetch the doc without trouble? And what is Sakura to Itachi?! Are they the new 'it' couple?!

Gimme lots of reviews and all of these questions will be answered next chapter… maybe. Mwahahahaha!

Marik: And they said I was sadistic.

Sakura: Shut it Ishtar! I'm still reading the manga here so not even _**I **_know what's gonna happen yet! 8P


	12. Chapter 12

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 12

"You're going out, Sasori?" a rather blood soaked Sai asked as the clock fixer approached the tower's entrance.

"Obviously," the redhead quipped. "So you've finished the job I gave you."

"Yes. I was able to get what you sent me for."

"You'll have to wait. We have an injured cat staying here at the moment and unfortunately he needs a doctor."

"Lee's cat? Injured?" parroted the slightly shorter brunet.

"Yes. Naruto is with him right now. I'll be back so you'll have to let yourself in," Sasori said, leaving the tower and heading for the village.

"Don't mind if I do," the Knight of Hearts said, grinning.

Spying the trail of blood droplets, Sai headed deep into the tower, stopping only when he spotted a larger pool of blood and Gaara's boa still lying in front of a door. _"Naru-kun's probably in here,"_ the brunet assumed, _"if that was really where that cat was headed."_

Placing one hand on his sword he opened the door, causing the blond sitting by the bed on the other side to start and whirl around.

"Sai.." Naruto said, nervously and doing his best to keep Gaara from the knight's line of sight.

"Hello, Naru-kun," he said smiling with his usual fake one, "Is something the matter, you seem to be nervous about something." Naruto gulped. He found he couldn't say anything. "Oh, I see the Cheshire Cat beat me here," Sai said, peering at the unconscious Gaara over the blond's shoulder. "For an injured person, he's pretty good. I left for the tower before him, this place isn't easy to find, you know."

_"Says the guy with _**no** _sense of direction,"_ Naruto muttered to himself.

"Sai…" the blond said, getting up from the chair and approaching the still bloody knight. "You did that to Gaara didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," Sai admitted flat out, "He was very frumious with me for saying that I wanted to kill you. Frumious enough to actually point his gun at me. But what I don't get is that he said that you'd be sad if I died, so he didn't shoot me. That was stupid of him to lower his guard like that. It shocked me so much that I ran him through." Naruto was about to protest but a quick glance to the partially drawn sword made the boy take a step back and keep quiet.

"But Gaara-kun's not the only one acting strange. Everyone is. All of those you've spent time with have changed. Kakashi-san… the Hatter… even Sasori. They've all changed ever since you came here. I told you once before, I thought I could change too if I stayed with you, but I haven't. Not one bit. And that makes me feel more lost than ever now. Do you think I'm capable of changing like the rest, Naru-kun?"

"Sai… D-Do you… really want to change? Queen Sakura told me, you want to quit your job no matter what it is."

"I'm already a traitor to her majesty by working for Sasori," the Knight of Hearts said smiling cheesily, "That's why I wear this ridiculous mask and cape. It's against the rules. But that's only symbolic. Queen Sakura is well aware of what I am doing, but acts as if nothing is going on. In fact she won't _**let**_ me quit. As long as I'm dressed like this, she refuses to see me. Only when I'm acting as the Knight of Hearts does she acknowledge me. But… I've been thinking…" He then raised the sword's scabbard and pointed it at the still nervous and stunned blond. The sheath glowed and morphed into a machine gun, Sai's finger resting lightly on the trigger.

"Something just might _**really**_ change if I killed you, Naru-kun. Everyone here likes you, so I wonder. What will happen if I killed their beloved outsider?"

"You won't do it," Naruto said solemnly as he stared down the weapon's barrel, "If you were really gonna kill me, ya would've done it the second you walked in here. Now put that thing away, Sai. I know you don't really mean this. Hurting people as your answer to everything isn't right! You've gotta stop this!"

Sai stared at the blond more confused than shocked and slowly lowered the gun, but did not put it away. "Do you think like that because _**your**_ life can't be replaced?" he asked, "I've always believed that swords and guns only existed to be used. I truly don't understand you, Naru-kun."

"That makes two of us, pal. I just don't get this place at all. How you all can just throw away your lives like that. I don't get how _**you**_ think Sai. I guess that means that neither of us gets it."

"It would seem so," the older teen replied, smiling ruefully.

"Can't we just leave things as they are, Sai? It looks like to me that you're the one who goes way out of his way to get lost. The guy who's always happy no matter where he winds up, that's the Sai I know."

The Knight of Hearts gave a bitter chuckle. "So nothing's going to change is it? No matter, I really don't mind. I suppose I don't have to kill you after all."

"_Phew!"_ Naruto said, inwardly giving a sigh of relief.

"Oh, by the way, I wasn't having doubts about doing it. I just wanted to talk first. And I'm still not sure what would have happened if you died; I'm still interested in finding out. But I won't do it," he said finally putting away the gun, "If I had, I would never get to listen to your heartbeat again."

The blond couldn't help blushing at the memory of the night he'd been forced to spend with Sai out in the Tulgey Wood. "I'd very much like to hear it again. So how about a deal, Naru-kun? I won't kill you if you go camping with me again sometime and you let me listen to your heart."

"I-It doesn't have to be in the tent again does it?" the shorter blond asked, blushing as the memory of that night continued to plague his mind. Sai just gave him a cryptic fake smile.

"Fine. J-Just don't kill me."

"I said I wouldn't Naru-kun, and I mean it this time."

"…um Sasori's probably on his way back by now," Naruto stammered, anxiously.

"I really should be heading back to the castle now," Sai said turning to leave, "We've been pretty busy lately over there. Tell Sasori about the clocks I left on his desk will you?"

"You got it, Sai," Naruto said, rather relieved at the older boy's retreat.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" snarled Gaara jumping up to a sitting position.

"Gaara! You're awake!" Naruto cried, rushing over to his feline friend.

"Hello there, Gaara," the Knight of Hearts said, the ever present fake smile plastered on his face.

"You filthy…!" the irate Cheshire Cat snatched the pair of scissors that Naruto had placed nearby the bandages and started to leap out of bed.

"Gaara don't!" shouted Naruto. The cat boy yowled in pain as the sudden action irritated his chest wound, causing him to stumble to his knees on the floor.

"H-He… wants to kill… you Naruto," he panted, still clutching the scissors.

"It's okay, Gaara! Really. Sai said he doesn't want to kill me anymore. So…"

The Cheshire Cat eyed the knight suspiciously as he continued to smile cheesily. "See it's just fine now. So don't push yourself kitty cat."

"You have got to be kidding me," growled Gaara, still eyeing the brunet warily.

"Oh believe me Gaara-kun. I was deadly serious that time. But I've changed my mind now."

"'You've changed your mind'?!" hissed the Cheshire Cat, his fur and hair standing on end, "Why don't I believe you?"

"I suggest that you do, kitty cat. If I did kill him, I'd never be able to listen to his chest anymore."

"His chest?!" parroted the redhead, eyes wide as saucers.

"S-S-Shut up, Sai!" stammered the shortest of the three, blushing profusely.

"Don't you want to know what his heart sounds like? You have to put your ear to his chest to do it, you know."

"You… let that… _thing_ touch your chest?!"

"I-I-I-It w-w-w-wasn't like that Gaara! H-H-He j-j-j-just did it without askin'!"

"Well, you did promise to let me do it again."

"I. Did. Not!" the blond shouted, snatching the scissors from the Cheshire Cat and brandished them before him. "Now shut it or I'll stab ya!" Suddenly, Gaara lunged and grabbed the wrist of the arm holding the scissors. "Gaara?!"

"…It's not fair," he griped. With the grace and speed all felines have, he grabbed the stunned blond's other wrist and shoved the boy to the floor, his knees on either side of Naruto's waist.

"G-G-G-Gaara! W-W-W-W-What are you...?!"

The redhead scooted downwards so his head would be in line with the blond's chest. "I want to hear your heart too, Naruto."

"He's really gonna do it," Sai mused, still smiling as the cat boy's head got ever closer.

"S-Sai! This is all your fault teme! Get 'im offa me! NOW!" Naruto demanded, struggling against Gaara's advances.

"Actually, Naru-kun, I'd like to join in."

"You had your turn!" snarled Gaara, a most agonizing and painful death promised in his teal eyes should the knight come any closer.

"You really must learn to share, Gaara-kun," Sai chided, taking a tiny step forward.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY GUYS! NOW GET OFF GAARA!"

"Oh Naruuuuuu-chan!" Kakashi's voice sing-songed as the door to Naruto's room opened, "I've got a present for… you?!"

The Prime Minister's visible eye nearly fell out of its socket at the sight before him. On the floor, lay his beloved blond with not only one, but two _**men**_ hovering over him _**veeeeeerrryyy**_ closely. Gaara was still straddling Naruto and holding onto one of the now still blond's wrists while during the struggling, Sai had somehow managed to get hold of the other one. All in all, it was a veeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyy questionable position the boy had found himself in.

"Uh…" Gaara began.

"Oh," Sai finished for him.

"What. Is going on here?" Kakashi inquired, the icy tone of his voice could have frozen all of hell itself.

"Boy! Am I glad to see you Kakashi!" Naruto cried in relief at the prospect of being saved.

The White Rabbit had his pistol in his hand and had aimed it at the nearest Wonderlander before any of them could do or say anything. "Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Him. NOW! Unless you wish to die of course." He fired a warning shot just above Sai's hand, making the knight release Naruto.

"Easy Kakashi-san," Sai said holding up his hands in surrender, "We were only trying to get at his chest."

"His chest?!" Kakashi's eye narrowed in disgust and fury. "So you do want to die!" The frumious silver haired man then shot a volley of seemingly endless bullets at the Knight of Hearts, which of course Sai dodged easily.

"Gaara-kun's just a guilty you know," he said as he continued to evade the hailstorm of deadly projectiles.

"I'll deal with him when I'm done with you."

"Guys?" Naruto called, finally free of Gaara's grip, for the Cheshire Cat had also been dodging the myriad ricocheting bullets. "Guys?! WILL YA QUIT IT ALREADY AND SIT DOWN!" the blond bellowed on the top of his lungs when they repeatedly ignored him.

At the hollered command, Kakashi paused in mid shot and sat on the nearest thing, Naruto's bed. Sai had dropped down onto the floor while Gaara basically stayed where he'd originally been by the bed.

"Geez, can't you three _**behave**_ for once?! You're like a bunch of Iruka-sensei's students! Now just what the heck did you come here for, Kakashi?" Naruto groused, crossing his arms.

"Oh yes, that!" the White Rabbit put away his pistol and rummaged through his pockets. Once he'd located what he was looking for, he produced a rather expensive looking envelope with an equally expensive looking seal affixed to it. "Sorry this is so late, Naru-chan. I wanted to make sure you got this myself."

"A-A letter?"

"It's an invitation," the silver haired man replied, "To the ball."

"W-What ball?" Naruto didn't like the sound of that. He always did hate fancy parties where everyone was made to wear fancy, stuffy, and reeeeaaaaaalllllly uncomfortable clothes.

"Is it that time of year already?" Gaara asked.

"It certainly is. Now if you don't mind, I need to escort Naru-chan to the castle so he can properly prepare."

"H-Hey! Don't just ignore me here!" the blond grumbled as Kakashi went off into his own personal dreamland.

"You know you can't do that, Kakashi-san," Sai said, "We have to get the place set up first, or have you forgotten."

"The others can do it, now stay out of this, _boy_."

"Kakashi-san, please use your head. You know how her majesty gets if we try to get out of ball preparations."

"I have to admit, you're right, but…" there was a poof and the Prime Minister had shrunk to his hard to resist rabbit form and leapt into Naruto's waiting arms, "I must stay with Naru-chan!"

"Is that how you're going to play it?" Sai asked, smiling and grabbing Kakashi's ears, "You know I'll just carry you since you're like this now."

"Let him go, Sai! Can't you see it's hurting him!" Naruto scolded as the Knight of Hearts began to carry Kakashi by his ears.

"Oh! I see you like him now because he's all fluffy and cute. But don't forget, he's still the big, lazy, perverted Kakashi-san. You can let him stay and cling to you if you really want Naru-kun, but if you do, there might not even be a party so you'll just have to spend the whole time with him."

The shortest of the males blanched at the images of Kakashi clinging to him every waking moment currently playing over and over in his head. "Fine! Take him!" he said, shuddering.

"Gladly."

"No! Naaaaaaruuuuuuu-chaaaaaaannnnnnnn!" rabbit Kakashi squealed as Sai continued to carry Heart Castle's Prime Minister out of the room and down the tower stairs.

A couple hours later…

"He's out of danger," Sasori said, returning to his workshop.

"So is the doc finished?" Naruto asked, placing down the invitation he'd read for the umpteenth time.

"Yes. Gaara's sleeping now. Though I think you might have been exaggerating if he was able to move about so much. Not to mention I'm even more behind in my work now."

"Thanks Sasori," Naruto said beaming at the redhead.

"Hmph. Sai left to prepare for the ball?" he asked, getting back to work at his desk.

"Yeah. And Kakashi gave me an invitation," Naruto replied, holding up the expensive piece of parchment. "So um… if it's at the castle does that mean that Queen Sakura's hosting it? I mean she doesn't look the type to do stuff like that."

"True she is rather prone to violence," Sasori replied, "It is still her duty to entertain people from time to time. It's one of the rules. Also that invitation is just a formality. You can go to the ball whether you have it or not. Everyone is invited and is treated as equals during times like that."

"Ok, I get the duty and formality stuff, but does that mean her enemies are invited too?"

"Yes, but since they are guests, they are under the obligation to behave… not that they always do."

"Are you going, Sasori? Eh-heh forget I asked, I know you've got tons…"

"In spite of the current back log," interrupted Sasori, "my presence at such occasions is mandatory."

"Gee, that's pretty weird. Why's there forced attendance for a party? A meeting or school I can understand, but…"

"Go to the ball," suggested the clock fixer, "since you're so confused. You'll find your answers there."

"That's just it, Sasori," Naruto said, glancing at the invitation again, "I really don't feel like going. 'Sides a mandatory ball doesn't sound much like a party to me." _"Tho' I wonder if Itachi will be there?"_

~TBC~

Sakura: Ooooh is someone falling for a certain Hatter? Not that I blame him.

Crow: Hey! Quit drooling all over my computer! Do ya know how hard it is to find parts around here?!

Sakura: Oops! Sorry Crow-chan! I just can't help myself whenever Ita's concerned.

Jack: So we've noticed.

Sakura: Oh shut it Jackie! You're just jealous he's muuuuch better looking than you!

Jack: Am not!

Yusei: Don't even think of starting anything you two.

Sakura: (pouts) Killjoy. Anyhoo, lemme know what you think folks. Oh yeah, the voting's still going on so, keep the votes coming folks! And may the best bishie win!

Kiryu: That would be me of course.

Sakura: Ki-koi! You're not even in this thing!


	13. Chapter 13

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 13

The next day¼

"So have you picked out your suit?" Gaara asked, after running into the blond while Naruto was running errands at the amusement park for Sasori.

"My suit?" the boy parroted.

"For the ball. You should wear a black one or maybe orange, it looks good on you."

"W-W-Wait a sec Gaara!" Naruto protested, blushing, "I haven't even decided to go yet, so don't¼"

"Good afternoon my youthful friends!" chirped the amusement park owner as he came jogging up to them. "Have you heard the news yet? It seems the Queen will be holding her most youthful ball soon.

"We already know, Lee," Gaara replied emotionlessly.

"Oh? Is that so? You were taking so long to come home, I thought you haven't heard." Lee's eyes narrowed slightly upon noticing the bandages the Cheshire Cat was still sporting. "Oh! So that is what happened! You got hurt and Naruto-san had to treat your wounds! Wuss Puss!" The spandex clad teen said trying his best to stifle the laugh that threatened to burst from his mouth.

The fur on the redhead's ears and tail puffed as Gaara let out an embarrassed growl. "It's nothing, Lee. Just leave it."

"And I thought cats just licked their wounds and walk away," Lee said, continuing to tease his feline friend, eager to get back at him for giving away his secret to the blond outsider.

"Enough, Lee!" hissed the cat boy, "Naruto is¼ what's wrong with getting first aid?!"

"You are right my feline companion. It shouldn't matter as long as you're not dripping blood everywhere. It's really hard to clean."

"Um¼ Lee," Naruto said, angered by the brunet's callous words, "You really should say stuff like that. Do you know how cruel that is? How can you worry about cleaning up blood when Gaara's hurt like that?!"

"Cruel?" repeated Lee, completely stunned, "Gaara is always injured so, I guess I'm used to seeing him like this. And it is rather unyouthful of me to make such jests when there's a gentleman present. I deeply apologize, Naruto-san," he said, bowing lowly.

"He got you good," Gaara quipped, smirking slightly.

"Not so fast Gaara!" Naruto yelled, turning his scornful gaze to him, "You've got to stop being so reckless! You wouldn't be hurt all the time if weren't! I can't believe you went and got messed up _after_ you _**promised**_ me you'd stop being so darned reckless! Don't you get¼"

"Naruto," interrupted the Cheshire Cat, "I don't think I can keep that promise."

"W-What do you mean?!"

The slightly shorter redhead gave him a sly grin, "Because I rather like it when you yell at me."

"Y-You're nuts!" the blond shot back, blushing once more.

"I wonder if the Kakashi gets all tingly when you yell at him," the cat boy murmured more to himself than the angered blond.

"Tingly?" Lee queried, "Oh! I do believe I know exactly what it is you're talking about Gaara-kun."

"You do?" Gaara asked.

"Yes. It is what they refer to as masochism," Lee said still reeling from his own tingly feeling from having Naruto scold him.

"Is that so?"

"Naruto-san! If you feel as though you must yell at us, then do not hold back! Unleash all your youthful fury! We will wholeheartedly accept each and every blow you throw at us!"

'_They just get freakier and freakier,'_ Naruto inwardly grumbled, getting slightly nauseated at Lee's admission. _'Why is it that no one here ever takes me seriously?!'_

Suddenly a pair of kunai came flying from around a corner, heading straight toward the blond. "Naruto!" Gaara shouted, seeing the danger, grabbed hold of the boy's wrist and pulled him down onto the cobblestone paving. The throwing knives barely missed the two and imbedded themselves into Lee's violin, thanks to the green clad teen's quick reflexes.

"What is going on?!" the amusement park owner asked, glaring in the direction where the kunai came from.

"W-What w-was that?!" Naruto stammered, still shaken by the sudden attack.

"Awww man he dodged!" whined Obito as he and his orange clad twin came from the corner.

"That sucks, Obito-nii!" Tobi whined.

"Tobi! Obito!" called Naruto.

"Hey it's the nii-chan!" the red clad twin piped happily.

"Yay! Nii-chan's here!" Tobi repeated, bouncing in joy.

"What's with all the noise, un?" called a rather annoyed looking Deidara approaching the rapidly growing group. "Why'd the hell did ya do that for, un?!" he bellowed, hitting the nearest twin on the head, "Ya could've hit Naru-kun, un! Stupid good for nothing brats!"

"Shut your pie hole b*^#hy rabbit," Obito groused, rubbing his injured head. "We didn't see the nii-chan."

"Yeah, Tobi and Obito can't see what we can't hit!" added his younger twin.

"Besides, havin' land talks all the time is sooooo booooooorrrring!"

"So Tobi and Obito wanted to kill the owner so we could go play!" Tobi piped.

"It would appear that there is some kind of poison on this blade," Lee said, examining one of the kunai, "You two were really serious this time weren't you?"

"It's really strong stuff," the red clad twin crowed proudly, "Just one scratch and you're dead!"

"Isn't it cool?!" squealed Tobi.

Naruto blanched while Gaara glared at his 'buddies'. "Are you going to yell at them, Naruto?" the Cheshire Cat asked curiously.

"H-huh?" was the blond's clueless response.

"Just you two wait," the redhead said grinning. "Getting yelled at makes you all tingly."

"Oooo."

"Really?" chirped the twins.

"Tingly, un?" parroted the March Hare, "Sounds good, un."

"Naruto-san!" pleaded the park owner, "You must scold us!"

"Tobi and Obito are not good boys!" cried Tobi.

"You're a bunch of freaks!" shouted Naruto, looking a tad disgusted at the group, "If ya wanna get scolded, then why don't ya go to Sakura! I bet she'll be real happy to! Tho' you'll probably lose your heads," he added under his breath.

"I am afraid I must pass on that, Naruto-san," Lee replied, "Being scolded by one such as her is most unpleasant. It would seem that only you would cause such an enjoyable effect."

"Ya got that right, greenie," agreed Deidara, "That is one scary chick, un. Man it sucks that we're gonna see her at the ball, un."

"Say, Tobi, you think nii-chan's gonna wear a pink suit?"

"Yep, Yep. Tobi thinks blood red's pretty, but Tobi's nii-chan's gotta wear pink!"

"He is wearing, orange," Gaara said in a tone that left no room whatsoever for any nonsense.

"Boo!" griped Tobi, "Stupid cat!"

"Nii-chan's wearing pink!"

"ARRRGH!" screamed Naruto, very near at the end of his rope and clutching the blond spikes on top his head, "Will you just stop it already! I'm not even sure if I'm gonna go! Besides I HATE fancy parties and I can't dance!"

"Oh my!" cried a passing park attendant, "You can't dance?"

"Just leave it to us sir," added his partner, "With our teaching you'll be the best dancer at the ball!"

Before he could even draw the breath needed to protest, Naruto found himself dragged off further into the amusement park by a mob of overzealous park attendants and servants from Itachi's mansion.

"One, two, three," counted the blond's much taller faceless dance partner as he led him around the park's dance studio, "One, two, three." Naruto, much to his surprise found himself actually being able to keep up with the man, content to let him take the lead. "Yes just like that. Very good sir."

"Looking sharp there, kiddo, un," Deidara said after letting out an approving whistle.

'_Ya know, this is kinda fun!'_ Naruto said, getting into the flowing rhythm of the dance.

"Ow!" the park attendant yelped as the shorter boy stepped on his foot.

"Heh, heh, sorry about that," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, "Um, I didn't hurt ya did I?"

"No it's alright, sir."

"Naruto-san, you're a natural!" beamed Lee, "All you is just a bit more practice."

"I don't know¼" started the boy.

"Please don't be so harsh with yourself, sir," said one of Itachi's servants, "You do have quite a bit of talent. Though, the master would be rather frumious if you did step on his foot."

"So we'll just have to make it so you can avoid that," added another of the Hatter's staff.

'_Itachi__¼__'_ mused the blond, "So Itachi's gonna be there huh?"

"Yes," replied the first Hatter servant, "It is mandatory for all those 'with roles to play' to attend."

"Yeah, you know how Ita's crazy about Queenie's rare teas, un!" piped Deidara, "He looks forward to the thing all the time, un! And with that dancin' problem of yours fixed now, you'll come too, hmm?"

"Forget it," Naruto said grimly.

"Huh?!"

"If that jerk's gonna be there, then there's NO WAY IN HECK, I'm gonna go! He'll just insult me no matter what I do, so I'm not gonna give him the chance!"

"Naru-kun¼"

"My mind's made up, Deidara!" the shorter of the blonds yelled, turning to leave the park.

"W-Wait, Naru-kun!" pleaded Deidara, but the cry fell on deaf ears and the boy stormed out of the dance studio.

"Something happened between him and the Hatter, didn't it?" Gaara asked.

Deidara remained silent, staring solemnly after the boy.

_**Heart Castle was buzzing with the whispered conversations of all of Wonderland's inhabitants and soft music played by an expert faceless orchestra. Roses of every shade of red were festooned in every nook and cranny of the palace and table upon table of the finest culinary delicacies, wines, and teas were strategically placed where hungry and thirsty revelers could acquire their refreshments within easy reach.**_

_**The blond smiled as he moved on the grand polished dance floor, a custom tailored tuxedo of bright orange clung to his graceful body as it swayed in perfect union with the music.**_

'**I can't believe how much better I got at this!'**_** Naruto beamed to himself, **_**'I didn't even get to practice that much. I don't know why I put up such a fight before, this is fun.' **_**However, the blond's silent musing caused him to loose the rhythm and he once again brought his foot down on his partner's very expensive looking shoe, making the taller man grunt slightly in pain.**_

"_**I'm so sorry!" Naruto cried, blushing profusely at letting himself get so distracted.**_

"_**Don't apologize," his partner said smirking, onyx eyes gazing at the little blond in amusement, "Most men would pay to have a cutie like you step all over them."**_

"_**I-Itachi!"**_

Naruto shot straight up, almost completely jumping out of the chair he'd been sitting in. Sapphire pools blinked confusedly before his groggy mind finally got itself together.

"Something the matter?" Sasori asked, looking up from his latest job, "You look rather pale, Naruto."

"I-I'm okay, really," he hurriedly replied. _'Phew! That was just a dream! What a relief.'_ "I guess I haven't been getting much sleep lately, I kinda dozed off there I guess," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to push yourself so much," Sasori groused, going back to his repairs, "If you're tired then just go to bed already. You don't have to help."

'_Yeesh,'_ Naruto inwardly groaned, ignoring the Mortician's grumblings, _'Itachi's being a jerk in my dreams now! Just what I needed! Tho' I can't stop thinking it feels like a warning or something. That's it I'm soooooooo not going to that ball no matter what they say!'_

"Naru-kun, Sasori!" called Sai cheerfully as he burst into the clock fixer's workshop, instead of his usual red and black uniform, this time he wore a crisp white suit with a black silk shirt. "Are you set to go? Oh! Aren't you going to change?" he asked upon noticing that neither of them were wearing any kind of formal wear.

"Wow! You¼ uh¼ look good Sai," Naruto said, shyly.

"I do? It's really not my style, but I just can't wear my work clothes to the ball."

"However, without his uniform, there's no way he can hide that capricious nature of his," retorted the taller redhead.

"Yeah! You're right Sasori!" agreed the shortest of the three, "That white suit makes him look like a playboy or a pimp."

"How cruel of you to say so, Naru-kun," Sai said, his patented cheesy smile never once fading from his face. "You two really should start changing now if you don't want to be late for the ball."

Sasori made a face as though he was going to be sick. How he loathed such frivolous occasions like this. "Ch, you know how I hate crowds. I wouldn't be disappointed if a hurricane came by and cancelled the whole stupid thing."

"Ha, ha, that's a good one, Sasori. But you'd still have to go even if we had a hurricane. You are coming Naru-kun, aren't you?"

"I¼ that is¼ um¼ I don't have a suit! Yeah that's it! So you have a great time with Sasori ok?"

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Sasori asked. The redhead, rose from his seat and strode over to the blond. He then yanked the startled boy from his chair and dragged him to the center of the workshop.

"H-Hey! What gives?!" Naruto demanded in confusion.

The Mortician ignored the boy and clapped his hands after moving away from the blond. Naruto closed his eyes tightly at the sudden blinding glow. There was a faint tick tock sound and when the blond could open his eyes again, he found he was no longer wearing the bulky blue and orange jump suit he'd put on earlier. Instead, he was wearing the orange tux he'd been wearing in his dream!

"Now you can come," Sasori said, putting on a pair of white gloves after having removed the clock shaped accessories from his usual outfit.

"Look, um Sasori, that's real nice of you, but¼"

"Orange's a good color for you, Naru-kun," interrupted Sai, still smiling that fake smile of his.

"Help me out here," the blond whispered to the redhead pleadingly, "You know I really don't want to run into¼"

"If I have to go, you're going too," Sasori said, icily, glaring at the shortest male.

"Sasoriiiii!" whined Naruto.

"You really look like you're dressed to kill, Naru-kun," Sai said giving the blond an appreciative leer, "So let's go make a killing!"

"Ugh! Why'd we have to let Sai lead?" grumbled Naruto, leaning against a tree as they made their way through the Tulgey Wood. "Where the heck are we anyway?!"

"Who knows," the Knight of Hearts piped a bit too cheerfully, his cheesy false smile firmly plastered to his face.

"I knew I shouldn't have let him lead," Sasori griped from his seat on a nearby log.

"Man, my feet are killing me," moaned Naruto, "and this freaky place keeps changing the time of day!"

"What was I thinking?" the clock fixer continued to complain, ignoring the other disgruntled partygoer. "I was hoping he'd be lucky enough to get us lost long enough to miss the whole stupid thing, but neither of us can just go walking around in formal shoes indefinitely."

"Hey, I think I see something!" Sai called a few feet away.

Naruto huffed and stormed over to the eternally directionally challenged brunet and grabbed his arm. _'That's it! I'm dragging Sai's ass over there and then I am sooo gone! I'm gonna sneak outta there the first chance I get!'_

"N-Naru-kun?! What are you doing? You shouldn't pull on people like that."

"Shut it, teme! And quit squirming!"

About twenty minutes later, the three made it through the forest and castle's hedge maze to the palace steps. "I'm impressed, you really know your stuff Naru-kun," Sai said smiling, "I'd thought it'd take at least another three time periods before we'd get here."

"Hmph!" snorted the shorter blond, as the palace doors closed once all of them were inside, "I've got enough blisters on my feet as it is thank you very much!" Naruto was about to launch into another angry tirade, but was quickly interrupted by the sound of trumpets blaring. "What's all that about?" he wondered.

"It means the ball's starting," answered Sasori.

"No way! Ya mean, right now?!" _'Damn it! I was hoping to sneak out while it was still quiet!'_

"Hey, um¼" Naruto started, approaching one of the faceless soldiers stationed at the doors of the audience chamber, "I really need some air, ya think you can open the doors for me, pal?"

"Sorry sir," the soldier replied apologetically, "We daren't risk the noise they would make. Her majesty is about to speak."

"Silence!" Kakashi shouted from balcony, Queen Sakura, sitting beside him while King Shikamaru stood boredly at the pink haired girl's left.

"So Kakashi-san finally decided to do his job," Sai quipped.

"Her majesty has some words for you all before we can open the ball."

The partygoers obediently fell silent and the Queen of Hearts rose gracefully from her throne. Emerald orbs spanned the throng below, narrowing in disgust briefly before speaking. "We are pleased that so many guests have gathered at Our castle this day, We also see that there are some guests We did _not_ invite as well. However, this is a time of celebration, so We will put aside Our differences for the moment. As much as We prefer twilight, We must agree that night is best for balls. Life is short and can be ended at any time, so We command you to enjoy with all the lust for life you have. That is all!" She then turned and went through the doors behind the throne.

"S-Sakura?" the King of Hearts asked, confused by his wife's unusual speech.

"Short and to the point, how like her," Kakashi said, his single visible eye forming an upside down U.

"Naruto-san!" Lee called upon spying the orange clad blond. He was wearing a bright grass green tuxedo with black gloves, a glass of punch in his hand.

"So you didn't ditch," Gaara said manner-of-factly. The Cheshire Cat had dumped his customary punk clothing for a tailored black suit and white shirt. A short blood red tie complimented the outfit.

"Lee¼ Gaara."

"What is the matter, my youthful friend? You look unwell, is the crowd too much for you?" Lee asked, noticing the rather flushed look on the boy's lightly tanned face.

"Wha? Oh, no. I'm okay, it's just Queen Sakura¼ well she's like something outta a fairy story or something."

"She can be rather villainous," replied Gaara.

"No! I mean the way she stood up there and did that speech, it was just¼ well I don't know what it was, but it was really something."

"Oh so you prefer women then, Naruto-san?" Lee asked, looking slightly disappointed.

"Wha?! N-N-No! I mean yeah, I guess I like 'em, but I-I don't feel that way about her! It's that I really admire her. She's always so classy and there's her super strength too! She kinda reminds me a bit of my sister. Ino-nee's always classy too and I wish I could be like that."

"You are classy," Gaara said, teal eyes running over the perfectly fitting orange tuxedo, "That suit looks perfect on you." Naruto couldn't stop the blush from covering his entire face, "Did you choose it because it's what I wanted?"

"W-W-Well actually¼" the blond stammered shyly, "Sasori gave it to me."

"Sasori-san did?" queried Lee, "It would seem that he does have a most youthful taste after all. Orange is the color of the burning passion of youth after all and truly suits you my youthful friend." The blond could feel the rest of his body turn bright red at the amusement park owner's compliment.

"Pardon me sir," one of the soldiers from earlier said, coming over to Naruto, "You wanted some air earlier, did you not? We are allowed to open the doors now, if you'd like."

"Are you leaving so soon?" the cat boy asked, feeling disappointed and slightly hurt.

"Huh? Nah, I'm gonna stick around," Naruto said, giving the two park residents a genuinely huge smile. _'Ya know, since this is all a dream, I might as well enjoy myself while it lasts. Besides, this ball thing's not too bad.'_

"Good," the Cheshire Cat said, returning a smile of his own, "Then let's dance." Before Naruto could explain that men didn't dance with men where he came from, Gaara had the boy's wrist in a vise like grip and dragged him out to the ballroom.

In spite of his initial apprehension, Naruto found himself enjoying the dance with the slightly taller teen. _'I don't know why I was so worried,'_ he mused, _'It's not like Itachi's gonna come looking for me right? There's so many people here, I may not even get to see him. I've gotta stop letting that jerk get to me!'_

Unbeknownst to the blond, the ballroom doors opened and a familiar pair of twins burst through. Both were clad in matching black suits and white shirts the only thing telling them apart was the color of their bowties. "Boooo! Boooo!" they cried in unison when they spied a certain cat boy enjoying a nice bit of dancing with a certain orange clad blond.

"Gaara stinks!" Obito called.

"Gaara's a big old meanie!" Tobi added, crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks. "He didn't tell Tobi he was gonna dance with Tobi's nii-chan!"

"Ya gotta share!" the twin with the red tie demanded, "We wanna dance with the nii-chan too!"

"Yep! Yep!" the younger twin agreed. "Forget the stupid kitty an' dance with us, nii-chan!"

"Don't even think of stealing Naruto," growled Gaara, "It's your fault you're late."

"Nuh-uh!" Tobi spat, sticking out his tongue at the taller teen. "It's Boss Itachi's fault! He wouldn't leave the booooooooring tea room!"

"'Boss Itachi'¼" Naruto mumbled to himself. "Just when I was really getting into this dancing stuff."

"Oi! C'mon Ita!" shouted Deidara as he came through the doors. The March Hare was clad in a plain white tux with a black shirt. "You're gonna miss the rest of the ball, un!"

"Hn. And I should care because?" the Hatter yakuza head asked, following his friend, "This frivolity pales in comparison to her majesty's mountains of rare teas."

Naruto tried desperately to hide before the taller man spotted him, but apparently it wasn't going to be easy due to the amount of people currently milling around the room. Just as he was about to quickly duck through the doors, Itachi caught sight of the fleeing blond.

"It has been a while hasn't it, Naruto-kun?" he said blocking the boy's escape.

~TBC~


	14. Chapter 14

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 14

"It has been a while hasn't it, Naruto-kun?" he said blocking the boy's escape. "And just what have you been up to? Nothing a gentleman would allow himself to do I'm sure."

Naruto could only stand there and glare nervously at the raven haired yakuza boss. _'Why?! Why did he have to show up __**now**__?!'_

"Naruto?" Gaara asked solicitously, adding a glare of his own. How dare that man interrupt his quality time with the cute blond?! "Why don't you go get that tea you're so found of? They have an entire table full of it. Why don't you show him where it is, Lee?" he added nudging the green clad teen.

"Gaara?! Why should I…?" He then noticed the visibly upset blond. "Right! I will make sure our less than youthful… uh… friend thoroughly enjoys her majesty's most youthful libations."

"Well, ya did say you wanted to have some more, right Ita?" the March Hare added, also perturbed by the distraught Naruto.

"Hn." The Hatter took one last look at the now trembling blond before following Lee, a rather concerned Deidara trailing behind.

"Gaara…" Naruto started, hanging his head in shame at his inability to stand up to the yakuza boss. "I'm really sorry for… being such a pain."

The Cheshire Cat gently lifted the boy's chin and gave him an enormous grin, "It's alright Naruto," he said, "I just wanted to get rid of that man so we can dance some more. They haven't finished the song. Now give me a smile. You know how much I like to see you smile."

The blond sniffled a bit and blushed, but managed to smile shyly at the redhead.

"Hey! No fair!"

"We're still here!" Tobi and Obito cried and latched themselves onto Naruto's arms, angry at being ignored, "We wanna dance with the nii-chan!"

"Tobi wants to dance double!"

"Wait your turn, brats," growled Gaara, "We're not done."

"Perhaps this problem can be solved with a group dance," one of the many faceless servants of Heart Castle suggested upon overhearing the twins' argument.

"What sort of group dance?" Gaara asked, eyeing the girl warily.

"Why not the Caucus Race?" another palace servant suggested.

"Caucus… Race?" Naruto parroted.

"It's a circle dance!" Obito said grabbing Naruto's hand with one of his own and the hand of one of the servants with the other.

"But… but won't we take up too much of the floor?" the blond asked, not wanting to get in the way of the other dancers.

"Certainly not!" the servant protested. "Even though most of the people here are enemies, no one will be offended."

"Unless they kill someone," a third servant said, join in the growing circle.

"Yes, there is no real etiquette tonight, everyone is free to mingle and dance as they please," a fourth servant, one from Lee's park, piped as he joined the circle.

"Wow this like kinda like line dancing back in camp," Naruto said getting into the fun as the others began to pull him along, making him jog after Obito.

"Tch. Whatever," muttered a rather jealous Cheshire Cat, "You brats! You cut me off!" he spat when he found he couldn't join in the circle next to Naruto.

"Ha! Ha!" jeered Obito, "Stupid kitty's not gonna get a spot next to the nii-chan!" He then yanked Naruto out of the cat boy's reach, but not before sticking out his tongue and pulling on his lower eye lid.

Gaara snarled, then stormed off from the circle.

"Welcome back," Sai said as a panting Naruto made his over to the large French doors on the other side of the ballroom. "Already finished dancing, Naru-kun?"

"Nah," the blond replied, "Just takin' a breather to get a drink. Man I'm parched!"

"Here," the Knight of Hearts said, handing him a glass of punch. He had been about to give the smaller teen one of the flutes filled with champagne, but quick picked up the punch at receiving a scathing look from Sasori. However, he surreptitiously poured a bit of the liquor into the glass of punch using the quick reflexes he had gained from years of sword fighting.

"Thanks!" Naruto crowed happily and quickly gulped the cold fruit juice down. "Ahhh! That felt good!"

"Were you with that particularly noisy bunch out on the floor?" the Mortician asked, frowning at the people still performing the Caucus Race.

"Yeah. Wanna go back with me?"

"Completely out of the question!" the taller redhead snapped.

"Aww, but it's fun!" pleaded the shorter teen.

"I'm in no condition to start exerting myself."

"Not feeling well?" Sai asked, glancing curiously at his friend.

"Hmnm… you do look kinda pale… well paler than usual," added Naruto. "Wait a sec, Sai. This stuff doesn't have alcohol in it does it?" he asked worriedly. Maybe that was what was making Sasori feel ill.

"Of course it does," Sai said, smiling his usual cheesy smile. "All the drinks at this table do."

Sasori glared at the Knight, "You spiked the punch again didn't you?" he whispered angrily. "I'd find a drink elsewhere if I were you," he said to Naruto, "Sai has a nasty habit of forcing others in following his less than perfect behavior."

"Y-You mean he's done that to you before?" Naruto asked, shocked.

"He has coerced me into joining his binge drinking, if that's what you mean."

"Stop being so sour, Sasori," pouted Sai, "Isn't that what parties are for?"

"Put a sock in it freak," retorted the grumpy clock fixer.

"That wasn't very nice," Sai said with mock hurt.

"Regardless, it's true. You've been into the booze ever since we got here and you're not even the tiniest bit drunk. Any normal person would be choking on their own puke or died of liver failure by now."

Naruto's eyes bulged out of their sockets. _'Yep. Sai's definitely a freak.'_

"You're wrong Sasori," explained the slightly shorter brunet, "I did get drunk earlier. I hadn't drunk so much in a while so I got inebriated right away. But once I kept drinking, I eventually got sober again, so now I'm trying to get drunk again."

"You're not making any sense!" groused the Mortician.

"Well then," quipped Sai, "I guess I'm so drunk now that I don't know what's going on with me."

"Here!" Naruto said shoving the spiked punch at the Knight of Hearts. "I'm gonna see if I can find some water."

"Aww, but alcohol is sooooo much better, Naru-kun," Sai protested.

"Hmph! This is why you males disgust Us," came an annoyed female voice. Naruto whirled around to see the Queen of Hearts standing before them. She had changed from her usual red and black gown she had been wearing earlier into an off the shoulder red and pink ball gown that had a black bodice and red arm gloves with pink and black ribbon trimming. The miniature crown still gracing her perfectly coifed Sakura colored hair. "Not only do you constantly make stupid and reckless choices of behavior, you also feel the need to drag others into such deviant ways. Most unseemly! Here, We believe you would much rather prefer this, would you not Naruto?" she asked, handing the blond a glass of water.

"Y-Yeah, thanks," he stammered, blushing slightly at the beautiful girl. "Hey, this tastes like flowers! What kind of drink is this?" he asked, fearful that it might be alcoholic as well.

"Why rose water of course," the queen replied, "We had the nectar extracted from Our very own roses earlier this afternoon. Isn't the fragrance wonderful?"

"Um… yeah. It is," the blond replied hesitantly.

"Why would anyone want to drink perfume?" Sai said, asking the question that was on the tip of the blond's tongue, making a slightly disgusted face.

"Be silent you Neanderthal!" shouted Queen Sakura, a rather dark aura starting to surround her. "It's obvious you are so uncivilized that such an elegant delicacy is beyond your comprehension! We are ashamed you are in Our employ. Naruto!" she said, the aura quickly simmering down, "you are to abandon these louts and dance with Us at once!"

"Not to be rude or anything, but isn't the queen supposed to dance with someone more important than someone like me?"

"You dare to refuse me?" Sakura asked, smiling dangerously.

"N-N-N-N-No way!" Naruto stammered.

"Good. We are pleased," the pink haired girl said, yanking on the poor blond's arm with the force of a four ox drawn cart.

"We shall stop now," Queen Sakura said, once the song had finished.

"I-I-I'm r-r-really s-s-sorry!" Naruto stammered, fearing he'd angered the pinkette, "I-I'm n-not that g-good of a d-dancer!"

"Sit!" she demanded after dragging the blond over to a plush loveseat not to far away. Naruto hurried to obey, almost tripping over his feet to do so. The Queen of Hearts couldn't help smiling at the boy's antics. "You have Our permission to remove your shoes." Naruto stared at her confusedly, "We are not blind, Naruto," the girl continued sternly, "We saw you trying to hide the pain in your feet."

The blond blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "It's not that bad," he said, relieved that some of the feeling in his feet came back now that he got the weight off them. "I can still dance with you. I-I kinda liked it," the last bit being mumbled shyly.

"Nonesense!" Queen Sakura ordered, "Off with those at once!" The boy gulped and hurriedly removed the stiff leather formal shoes. She frowned slightly at the blisters littering his feet, some being on the verge of tearing open and bleeding. "We too must endure the pain that comes from the burden of socially required formal wear." She then promptly kicked off the blood red pumps she'd been wearing and let out a tiny sigh of relief when the cool night air hit her own aching feet. "A man would only notice a person's discomfort once they've been reduced to tears," the queen said disdainfully, sitting next to Naruto and laying a sympathetic hand on one knee, "Most of you males are so unreliable when it comes to life's many challenges, that is why We refuse to depend on any man. It would be best if you'd take Our advice, Naruto and not allow yourself to lose your head over a man. Reliance on one's own strength is what is most important."

_'S-Sakura… wow! She's even more mature and classy than Ino-nee! There's no way I could ever be like that,' _the blond mused in awe at the now calm and collected queen.

"Hn. You really believe he is interested in anything other than a man's love," the Hatter yakuza head sneered, approaching the couple. "He certainly doesn't have Your Majesty's nerves of steel."

_'I-Itachi! What the hell is he doing here?!'_

Queen Sakura's emerald eyes flared and narrowed dangerously at the raven haired man, "We despise eavesdroppers," she hissed.

"I was hardly eavesdropping," Itachi replied, unfazed by the girl's threatening aura, "I was having my tea over there." He gestured to a large table laden with several tea pots and trays of snacks a few feet away. "You were so noisy that I lost my train of thought. I feel as though that _this man_ must intercede here."

"Um… Ita," Deidara interjected, trying his best to diffuse a rather tricky situation that was bound to get worse rather rapidly, "Maybe you… um… should…"

"Be silent you impertinent males!" the Queen of Hearts bellowed, "You forget your place, Uchiha!"

"I was under the impression that court etiquette wasn't required tonight," the taller man jeered, "It would seem her majesty has become scatterbrained."

"ITACHI UCHIHA!" screamed the now frumious queen, "IF NOT FOR THIS BALL, I WOULD HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THAT!"

"Uh… Y-Your M-Majesty…" Naruto pleaded nervously, "H-He's j-just trying to provoke you." However, the queen just continued to growl and stare at the infuriating man. _'Kakashi really wasn't kidding when he said they try to kill each other all the time, but what the heck were they doin' back in Itachi's rose garden?! I just don't get it!'_ "Um… Dei," the boy said sidling over to the March Hare, "do you think you can try and get 'em to calm down?"

The taller blond glanced over at the arguing two and let out a helpless sigh. "I'll try, un. But I don't think it'll work."

"What did I tell you," Itachi said, leering at Naruto, "that adorable little hussy always runs off to the nearest man whenever he needs something."

"H-Hussy?!" Naruto shouted in indignation.

"He did the very same thing when we first met. He ran and hid behind his harem of puppets. They all go out of their way to make fools of themselves just to please him," continued the Hatter.

"So what if he likes being on top," Queen Sakura shot back, "What's wrong with the small being in charge?!"

"If you think he's anything like you then you're sadly mistaken," retorted Itachi, "He uses his mystique as an outsider to influence everyone. He controls them by teasing."

The Queen of Hearts let out an enormous laugh, "Itachi you idiot! What good would that do Naruto? He's not like Us, he's not like you either. Why don't you just admit it? You're jealous! You're jealous because you're the only one Naruto can't stand. That's why you go out of your way to insult him. You've become such a child, Itachi. We just might even say such behavior is rather quaint."

"Jealous?" scoffed the taller man, "Hardly. You must be mad. Though such accusations are typical of a senile narcissist like you."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL US?!" the pinkette roared, the scepter she'd been holding snapping in half in her iron grip.

"Itachi! Back off man!" Deidara shouted, stepping between the two combatants, "We're on her turf, un! If ya go starting a fight, we're really gonna be screwed, un!"

The yakuza boss glared at his subordinate and friend before letting out an annoyed 'hn' and walking off.

"Just where do you think you're going, Uchiha?!"

"You have guestrooms do you not?" he asked, pausing in mid-step.

"Of course We do," snapped Queen Sakura, "But I don't see what…"

"I'm taking one," Itachi stated, "I've had enough of being bored out of my mind by your pathetic party. I'm going to bed."

"You chauvinistic pig!" the Queen of Hearts yelled at the Hatter's retreating back, cracking what was left of her scepter, "That man is the enemy of all women!"

"There you are, Sakura," the King of Hearts said, finally able to approach his wife. Shikamaru being the way he was, he hadn't bothered to change out his everyday robes. "It's a drag having to go looking all over for you."

"What do you want," she all but snarled at her husband, still miffed at Itachi's antagonistic behavior.

"There are some guests who are waiting to be greeted by you. That troublesome Hatake is greeting them in your place and he's been threatening to go on a shooting spree if you don't get over there to relieve him soon."

"That lazy good for nothing rabbit," grumbled Sakura. "Fine We shall go back." She then retrieved her formerly discarded shoes and put them back on. "We do hope you do not let Uchiha's unruly behavior keep you from enjoying the rest of the night, Naruto," she said, giving the blond a sisterly smile before heading back into the throng.

"Yeah, about Itachi," Deidara started, taking a seat next to Naruto on the loveseat, "Sorry about that, un. I just don't get why he'd say stuff like that, un."

"Yeah, me too," the smaller blond replied, "I don't know why he thinks I'm some kind of flirt or something and actually I really don't give a damn if he does. But what I wanna know is why the heck he can't be civil for once?! I'm getting pretty sick getting treated like crap by him!" The boy shot up out of his seat and angrily shoved his still aching feet into his shoes. "That's it! I'm not gonna run from that b $^ *d anymore! If it's a fight he wants, then that's just what Itachi's gonna get!" He then promptly stormed off in the direction the Hatter yakuza head had just taken.

"Naru-kun matte, un!" Deidara called after the irate teen, but Naruto proved to be pretty quick in spite of the pain his poor feet were in.

_'Now where the heck are the guestrooms again?'_ Naruto asked as he wandered aimlessly through Heart Castle's many labyrinthine halls.

"Now where would the fire be, I wonder," Kakashi said, stepping out from the shadows as the blond passed by another junction. "Where are you off to in such a hurry, Naru-chan?"

"Kakashi," Naruto said upon seeing the silver haired rabbit man. _'Something's off about him today.'_ "I-I'm um… looking for Itachi," he stammered nervously haven decided to just tell the truth.

"Is that so? Itachi you say?"

_''Kay, now I'm officially weirded out here. The pervy rabbit's usually all over me whenever he sees me. What gives?!'_

"Naruto," the White Rabbit said, forgoing the use of his usual pet name, "It was me who wanted you to come to Wonderland. I thought I'd be content enough knowing that you were here, even if you weren't at my side. I truly did believe that. That's the way love should be, however now I'm… conflicted. I love you, Naruto and I want you to be happy. That is all I could ever need. I used that wish to bring you here, yet I just can't stand to see you with anyone else. I just can't. I can no longer continue to watch over you and bear the pain. Tell me Naruto, what should I do?"

"K-Kakashi…" the blond sputtered, truly stunned and rooted to the spot by the taller man's passionate confession.

"I've never fallen in love before so all these feelings are so confusing to me, I just don't know how to understand them. Why can't you just choose me?! Why do I want your love more than I do your happiness? I can barely endure just being your friend."

"Kakashi… I… I'm not choosing anybody! I'm not here to fall in love and I don't plan on ever doing so."

"But… why were you going after Itachi Uchiha? Come back to the ball, Naruto."

"Kakashi, I can't. I really, really need to talk to him and it has to be now."

"Why now?" pleaded the Prime Minister, "Surely you can't love him that much."

"Look you stupid, pervy rabbit!" the shorter blond spat, jabbing his finger into Kakashi's white clad chest, "There's no way in hell, I'd ever love a man like Itachi! If I do feel anything for the guy, then it's more like hate than anything!"

"That's good," Kakashi said cupping the blond's chin, "Just don't forget. I want you to remember about you and me."

"You and me?" parroted Naruto.

"Don't ever forget," the White Rabbit whispered into the boy's ear as he pulled him into a fierce hug, "I am your treasure. Your precious…"

_'W-Wait a sec. Why do I suddenly get the feeling I knew this pervy jerk __**before**__ coming to this crazy world?'_ Unbidden, memories of the Sundays he'd spent with Ino came rushing to his mind. _'That's right! I'd spend every Sunday with Ino-nee and Kakashi…'_

A wave of dizziness came over the teen and he started to sway, his head suddenly feeling like a heard of elephants started doing the quick step through it.

"Naru-chan!" Kakashi cried, quickly catching the shorter boy before he fell to the palace floor.

"Man my head hurts," Naruto said, holding a hand to his throbbing head.

"I'm a damn fool," Kakashi said, feeling immensely guilty at causing his beloved such pain. "A damn selfish fool. Forgive me, Naru-chan for forcing you to remember. It would be best if you forget for a bit longer."

Elsewhere…

"That's right," the dream demon said, observing the scene through a crystal ball floating before him. "I did warn you Kakashi Hatake. Naruto dear mustn't remember. You must make him forget.

"I'm so, so, sorry, Naru-chan," Kakashi kept repeating over and over as he continued to hold the dazed blond in his arms. "I'm such a heel for making you suffer like this."

_'What happened?' _ Naruto wondered dazedly, _'I… I have the feeling there's something I have to forget.'_

_ 'Yes. Forget,' _a mysterious voice echoed through the boy's head_, 'For now, forget.'_

_ 'Ok,' _Naruto silently murmured, letting the memories of his previous life fade back into the darkness.

"No matter what anyone else might say, it seems that I will always be right about you," Itachi Uchiha, head of the Hatter family yakuza said, coming upon the two. "You truly have no shame. To behave in such a way in a public hall no less."

"I-Itachi!" sputtered Naruto.

"I'm impressed at how fast you work, cutie."

"I-I'm not that kind of person!" the blond retorted, blushing profusely and squirming in Kakashi's hold.

"Don't let me stop you," jeered the brunet, "I was just getting myself a room."

"This way sir," a faceless maidservant, who seemed to be as embarrassed as Naruto, said, leading the Hatter down the hall.

"You two may want to get a room yourselves," Itachi called back, without sparing a passing glance, "Unless you truly are the type to put on a show."

_'Grrr! That's really it this time!'_ Naruto fumed, _'There's no way I'm gonna let him get away with this!'_

"Let me go, Kakashi!" the shorter teen demanded.

"But Naru-chan, didn't you say you hated that man?! Just forget him!"

"Yeah, I hate him. I _**really**_ hate that guy. He pisses me off and he knows it! I'm going and that's it! Whenever I have a problem with someone, I don't quit until I've faced them. So I'm not gonna stop now, believe it!"

He shoved the silver haired rabbit man away and dashed down the hall after the Hatter. "Naru-chan!" Kakashi shouted, but it was too late, the boy had gone from view. "Just as I feared," the White Rabbit said, his ears drooping, "Even after all those insults, Naru-chan still…"

~TBC~

Sakura: Hooboy! Ita was in rare form tonight! The claws were out full force!

Sasuke: Will you believe me now, onna?

Sakura: Ita's not a monster! You are! What he did, he did for the sake of the village! You just ran off like some emo brat! And for what?! Because some snaky pedo offered you power!

Naruto: Whew! That was harsh!

Sakura: But true!

Pein: Are you still sure you don't want to join?

Sakura: Yep. Appreciate the offer tho'. ^_^ Anyhoo, things are starting to get curiouser and curiouser aren't they? What is it that Kaka-kun wants him to remember? Why does a certain dreamy dream demon want Naruto to forget it? Beats me! You'll just have to wait. I'm riding this wonderful wacky ride along with you minna so I'll be discovering all the craziness that is HnK for the first time like all of you. So I hope you stick around and fasten your seat belts, it's still gonna be a bumpy ride!


	15. Chapter 15

Heart no Kuni no Naruto

by Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Chapter 15

_'I think I can understand what Kakashi was tryin' to say,'_ Naruto thought as he chased down the hall after Itachi, _'I guess it would be easier to forget about someone you hate. And it's not like I care what that teme thinks, but I won't feel better about this if don't go and give that jerk a piece of my mind! There's no way I'm gonna run away this time, believe it!'_

"Um, excuse me," the blond asked the faceless maid as she closed one of the doors, "Is this Itachi Uchiha's room?"

"…yes," she replied, nervously. She had sensed the Hatter was in an uffish mood and was uncertain if should let the boy in.

However, Naruto didn't give her the chance. He just pushed the door open, causing it to slam against the wall and burst in. "You 'n' me need to talk, teme!"

"Well this is unexpected. I didn't think you'd take a break from your rutting with the Prime Minister," the yakuza head jeered, glancing over his should as he stood by the window.

"Shut it!" the blond said lunging at him, Itachi sidestepping at the last possible moment, but not going too far away from Naruto. "You damn well know it wasn't like that! For your information, Itachi Uchiha, I _don't _flirt and I _don't_ influence anyone! You know, Sakura's right, you're just jealous! And I don't know why you have to say such stuff about me like that. So you've got a problem with me, big deal. That doesn't mean you have the right to treat me like crap!"

"If you came here to kiss and make up," the taller man said, smirking and crossing his arms as he leant against the wall, "The fierce act isn't working, it isn't cute and you could be a bit sweeter."

"Arrgh! There you go again! What is it with you?! You're not even _half the man_ _**he**_ever was!"

"He?" parroted the Hatter, "Oh, that undeserving ignoramus who crushed your heart."

"Don't you dare talk about Sasuke like that! There's no way he'd ever take his problems out on other people like you! He's a good guy! You may look like him, but that depraved heart is one hundred percent _you_!"

Itachi's eyes narrowed to mere slits. He grabbed his cane which had been lying against a nearby chair. He pointed it at the shorter teen and the stick began to glow, turning into a machine gun. "If we're so different, then refrain from comparing us," he said coldly, his finger mere millimeters from the trigger.

"Ooo, did I hit a sore spot, Ita?" taunted Naruto, in spite of the lump forming in his throat and his rapidly increasing heartbeat, "Real big man, point a gun at whoever hurts your feelings!"

"Do you never shut up?" the yakuza head all but snarled, truly shaken by the boy's words. "I'm warning you little boy, I haven't harmed you yet because you're an outsider, but I'll have you know I am not a gentleman like all the others you've been flirting with."

"Ha! That's rich! None of you guys are gentlemen!" scoffed Naruto, "You're nothing but a bunch of trigger happy psychos! I'm always in some kind of dangerous situation! In case you've forgotten buddy, you even choked me back in your own house! Well, guess what? Even if you do shoot me, I'll just wake up from this freaky dream. So you don't scare me, Mr. B d $$ Yakuza Boss!"

"I've made up my mind, I definitely hate outsiders. I should have killed you when I first saw you."

"Yeah, I'm an outsider, so what?! Why do you have to be the one that's so hung up about that?! Oh, I've got it, it's because that I _**am**_ an outsider you can't kill me!"

RAT-A-TAT-TAT!

Naruto sunk to his knees on the floor, his poor heart hammering more than a hummingbird's ever could. It had taken him several moments to realize that Itachi had missed on purpose, but that didn't mean that the man wouldn't the next time. "What gave you that idea?" the Hatter family head asked, still not lowering the still smoking machine gun. "Of course I can kill you. I'll have you know, Naruto-kun that I loathe how everyone in Wonderland loves outsiders. And if I ever really did love you, it'd only give me even more of a reason to kill you."

Naruto couldn't make himself move. He sat there frozen to the floor, his heart threatening to burst from his chest as he shook uncontrollably.

"Not scared are you," Itachi mocked.

"D-Do you… r-really hate me that much?" the blond asked, "That you'd torture me like this and miss on purpose. Do you really think this is some kinda joke?! It's not my fault I'm the outsider here! Actually I bet you'd hate me even if I wasn't, right?!"

"Hn. I wonder," the Hatter said putting away the gun and starting for the door. "I've never felt the need to remove either one from the other."

"Go ahead!" the shorter teen goaded, finally working up the courage to stand, "If you're gonna kill me then get it over with! Or better yet, stop seeing me as an outsider if you hate them so much! Then maybe you'd start being a bit nicer to me! It's not as if I **WANTED** to come to this world to begin with! And the idea of you all falling in love with me, just really freaks me out! What you're really trying to do here is to prove that not **EVERYONE** loves the outsider! Well, guess what, I'm sick of your twisted ideas, pal!"

Itachi turned around and let out a chuckle. "What's so damned funny?!" demanded the boy.

"Even if I were to start thinking differently about you, do you truly think things would change between us, Naruto-kun?"

"How the heck am I supposed to know?! But you've gotta try! I'm fed up with all this! Even if nothing changes, at least I'd know you gave it your best shot! I know it'll be hard since neither of us is gonna change the way we are. I mean you're still gonna be a jerk and I'm well, I'm not exactly the smartest guy on the planet here and Ino-nee's always saying that I always rush into things."

"Quite the little speech maker aren't you?" the taller man said regarding the blond with an unreadable expression, "Fine. I accept your challenge Naruto-kun. I'll starting thinking of you as a Wonderlander. But on one condition."

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"Stop comparing me to this Sasuke of yours. If I'm going to lose whatever baggage you seem to think I have, then you must do the same."

"Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be fair if I didn't," the blond replied, scratching idly at one cheek. "Though I do think of him whenever I see you. I mean you two have really similar looks."

"And you've said several times that he is the better man."

"Well duh! Sasuke _never_ tried to kill me! And he's waaaay better at…" Naruto stopped in mid-sentence. "Oops! Sorry about that. I did say I wasn't gonna compare you guys. I'm gonna give it my all and make sure I don't do it again, believe it!"

The raven haired yakuza boss let out another 'hn' then smiled. "Then I shall 'give it my all' as you put it as well. I'll try to see you as nothing but another man."

"Just another man?" parroted Naruto, "Why do I get the feeling you just insulted me," he muttered under his breath.

"Instead of an Outsider man," replied Itachi, "This is what you wanted right?"

_'Yeah I did say that,'_ the shorter of the two mused, _'but why do I feel as though we didn't solve anything? Oh well, at least I got all that off my chest.'_

Elsewhere in the palace…

Sai walked carefully, supporting a rather ill looking Sasori as the two made their way down the steps leading to the palace terrace. "Can't you be a bit more gentle, Sai?" Sasori groaned as the downward movement jarred his already churning stomach.

"Honestly, Sasori," the shorter brunet quipped, smiling cheesily as was his custom, "Even an infant could hold liquor better than you. Oh, Kakashi!" he said, upon spying the Prime Minister leaning against the terrace railing and staring intently at a window on the other side of the courtyard. "Is something the matter?" the Knight of Hearts started, "Or is it that you're peeping. Knowing you, I would wager it's Naru-kun you're peeping at."

The silver haired rabbit man let out a heavy sigh, totally oblivious to the presence of the other two men. "Time's almost up Naru-chan," he murmured, "What should I do?" Sasori's eyes widened, but he said nothing, instead leant on the shorter teen and stared at the White Rabbit grimly.

The next day…

"Hello there, Sasori," Sai called cheerily as he entered the clock fixer's workshop. "I believe you've got a mission for me."

"Ch. You're late," grumbled the Mortician as he continued working on another of the seemingly endless supply of clocks, "you were supposed to be here immediately after the ball."

"Sorry about that, I couldn't get out of cleaning duty then there was a bit of a problem. And you know how hard this place is to find. So where is Naru-kun? Out on an errand?"

"Not quite, he went to the Hatter's."

Sai's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? From what I heard, he and Itachi got into some kind of fight last night. And there's talk among the servants that they saw Naru-kun and Kakashi all over each other. Hmm.. maybe that's why Kakashi was so depressed, they must have made up. But what did the Prime Minister mean by time being almost up?" He gave the slightly taller redhead a cursory look. Sasori raised one eyebrow at the Knight of Hearts but remained silent, never once pausing in his repairs. "I know you what he meant," began Sai.

"No comment," the clock fixer replied curtly.

"None of my business, huh? It doesn't matter. I'm only interested in that mission of yours right now."

Meanwhile at Itachi's…

Naruto was currently sitting next to the Hatter yakuza head enjoying a cup of tea and dango on Itachi's back porch. Deidara, who was sitting across from them along with the Bloody Twins, hadn't touched his tea or carrot sandwiches for he had been staring at the two ever since they had sat down for afternoon tea.

"Why don't you just take a picture, Deidara," Itachi quipped, "I'm tired of your staring."

"S-S-S-Staring, un?!" the March Hare sputtered.

"Booo!" cried Obito, "Dei-dei's a pervy rabbit!"

"Chickie rabbit's not a good boy like Tobi! He's a stinky perv!" piped his younger twin.

"I-I'm not a perv you damn brats, un!" protested Deidara, blushing profusely.

"Ooo, he's getting' defensive," the red clad twin mock whispered.

"'Cause we're right, Obito-nii," the orange clad boy whispered back.

"Oi! Don't ya make me spank ya, un!" The twins kept teasing the poor rabbit man, ignoring his threat. "Really, Naru-kun! I wasn't thinking…"

"Hey, it's okay, pal," the shorter blond said giving him a blinding smile, "I know you're nothing like Kakashi. But you looked like something was botherin' ya. What's up, Dei?"

"Well… it's that I didn't think you'd bother coming back here, un. I mean didn't you 'n' Ita have it out at the ball, un? Or did ya make up, un?"

"'Make up'?" parroted the Hatter, "Deidara, my clash was not with this young man who is nothing more than what you see sitting here."

"Oi, oi! Watch it Ita! Ya know Naru-kun hates it when ya insult him like that, un!"

The Hatter let out a low chuckle. "It's not what you think, Dei!" Naruto explained, "Ya see Itachi 'n' me talked last night and I told him how I hated how he treated me just 'cause I was an outsider. I don't know what it is that he's got against outsiders, but we both decided to forget the whole outsider business."

"Eh? What gives, un?!"

"We don't care if he's an outsider!" Obito interjected glomping onto the smaller blond's arm.

"Yep. Yep. Tobi's nii-chan's, Tobi's nii-chan!" Tobi added attaching himself to the boy's other arm.

"Uh… thanks you guys," Naruto said, squirming to get out of the twins' vise grip, "I think."

"So that's how it is, hmm? Well I guess I can go along with that, un, if that'll help ya with Ita."

"Dei! You don't have to think of me any different. This is between Itachi 'n' me."

"Yeah, chickie rabbit's too dumb to be open minded like the rest of us," Obito taunted.

"Shut your yap, brat!" yelled the March Hare, "Besides what's so bad 'bout Naru-kun bein' an outsider anyway? Yeah he doesn't have a weapon and he's got pretty weird ideas, so what?"

"Dei…"

"Shut up stupid bunny!" Tobi shot, "Tobi's gonna kick your fluffy butt if you make Tobi's nii-chan sad!"

"I said shut your pie holes!" bellowed the taller blond, blushing profusely, "I was just… sayin' that I don't care if the kid's an outsider or not. So if you're gonna tell me not to think of him as one, then you're just gonna confuse me here and I won't know how to treat Naru-kun right."

"Just forget it, Deidara," Itachi said between sips, "Treat Naruto-kun the way you always have. You're good at forgetting, so I'm sure you'll have no trouble forgetting what's been said here."

"Ya got it, boss!" the March Hare said enthusiastically, "If ya want me to forget it, then I'm gonna go whole hog an' forget today ever happened, un!"

Itachi raised one elegant eyebrow before going back to his beloved tea and dango. _'Phew,'_ Naruto thought, remembering the older blond's tendency to shoot first ask later, _'Thank goodness he thought that was a compliment. Still, Dei's right. I'm always gonna be an outsider even if we stop mentioning it. And there's no doubting that Itachi knows that.'_

"Now that I've had my tea," the yakuza boss said placing his now empty cup on the matching saucer, "I'd like for you to go for a walk with me, Naruto-kun."

"A walk?" parroted the boy, "Uh… I guess I could do that."

"Tobi and Obito want to come too!" piped the orange clad twin, jumping from his seat.

"Nuh-uh!" Deidara said grabbing the collar of Obito's jacket as the older twin leapt to join his younger brother, "you punks still have a job to do, un! Break's over, un!"

The twins whined, but reluctantly let the taller rabbit man drag them back to the mansion's gate.

_'Hey, I remember this place!' _Naruto mused as he followed the Hatter yakuza head along one of the paths of Itachi's enormous garden. "Hey! Isn't this the garden no one's allowed to see? What's up, Itachi?"

"Only those I personally invite are allowed to see this place. I had it built for special guests."

"Special?" the blond repeated. _'What's up with that?! I thought we agreed to drop the outsider stuff. Wait a sec… does that mean I'm…' _"Huh?!" Kneeling before one of the myriad rose bushes was a girl with all too familiar pink hair. _'Queen Sakura?!'_

"I didn't expect you to be here today," Itachi said greeting the Queen of Hearts.

"We were exhausted after the ball," Sakura explained, "We came here to soothe Our spirit and relax. This garden is truly a splendor, it never ceases to aid Us in forgetting Our fatigue."

Naruto's eyes bugged out and his jaw practically dropped to the ground at the queen's civility and genteel manner. _'What the heck's goin' on?!'_ he inwardly screamed, _'Sakura was ready to tear him apart last night and now they're practically all lovey dovey! They've gotta be secret lovers! There's no other way to explain all this! I mean if this place is for special guests and Sakura's been coming here, then that's what it's gotta be, believe it!'_

"Why are you standing so far away, Naruto?" the pink haired girl asked, "Come join us."

The boy gulped nervously, feeling increasingly more like a third wheel. "Uh… Sorry," he said coming closer to the two. "Hiya Queen Sakura, um… thanks for having that party last night."

"To tell the truth, it's a pain, but We are glad you had a good time. Now, you Itachi Uchiha, are a reprehensible man. Our ball could have done without your little display of jealousy."

"I believe I told you that I was not jealous," Itachi said, curtly.

"Is that so?" said the queen, her emerald eyes narrowing slightly, "Stop lying to Us and to yourself, Itachi. We can see what's lurking in that vile heart of yours better than you ever could yourself."

_'Why the heck am I getting a sudden feeling of déjà vu here?'_ pondered Naruto.

_**A five year old Naruto stood in the doorway to his older sister's room, clutching Gama, his stuffed frog. "Naruto?" Ino said, putting down the brush she'd been using on her pale golden hair. "You have a bad dream?"**_

_** "Uh huh. It was a really scary one!" the boy said, fresh tears falling from sapphire depths.**_

_** "Do you wanna sleep with me?"**_

_** "C-Can i?"**_

_** Ino gave her younger sibling a huge smile and patted beside her on the bed as she climbed in. Naruto returned a huge smile of his own and clambered onto the soft mattress, lying down next to the ten year old girl.**_

_** "Dontcha worry about a thing, Naruto. There's nothing to be scared of ok?"**_

_** "Y-You sure?"**_

_** "Yep. 'Cause I know you better than anyone. After all I am your…"**_

"Just because you're my little sister, does not mean you have psychic abilities, Sakura," Itachi huffed.

"W-W-W-What?!" Naruto sputtered in complete and utter shock, "Sakura's your….?!"

"Most regrettably," the Queen of Hearts admitted, "It is a great shame that We share the same blood as this villain. You are surprised are you not?"

"Well, duh." _'Man why didn't I see it before?! It's not because they're lovers that they stay close even if they fight. You know, now that I think about it, they are kinda alike.' _"It's just I didn't expect you two to be family. I mean you guys are fighting right? But you did say you had a big brother back then."

"That would be me," Itachi interjected.

"'One day your role will be decided," Queen Sakura started, "'whether you like it or not.' That is how this world works."

"When Sakura was made Queen of Hearts, I was assigned the role of the Hatter."

"We were given roles where we were expected to destroy each other. So we killed off those who knew we were brother and sister, with the exception of our other family members."

"Huh?!" gasped the blond, "Why'd the heck did you do that?!"

"It is a dangerous life we live," the queen continued to explain, "such information would prove to be extremely dangerous."

"If that info got into the wrong hands," added Itachi, "it would be a liability for either of us. Sakura and I don't like taking risks like that. This is why I forbade anyone to come here. This is the only place where we are not the Queen of Hearts and the Hatter. Here we can be brother and sister."

"So that's why you tried to strangle me, Itachi!" the blond said, finally understanding, "And that's why you stopped when I said you were in love with her!"

"This is rather interesting," noted Queen Sakura, "for Itachi to bring you here."

"Um… Sakura," Naruto asked anxiously, "You're not gonna kill me now I know your secret are you?"

The Queen of Hearts gave out a hearty laugh. "Oh don't be silly!" she scoffed, "We have no such intention. We are just amazed that Itachi considers you special enough to allow you to see this place."

"Yeah, well… it's just probably because I'm an outsider."

"I thought you didn't want me to see you as an outsider anymore, Naruto-kun," Itachi said.

"Oh yeah. Guess I forgot for a sec," the blond replied, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh? Were We interrupting something?" the pinkette said in mock innocence. "Then We shall go back to Our castle. Take good care of him nii-san." She then turned to leave.

"Don't go," pleaded the taller brunet, a faint blush coloring the Hatter's cheeks. "I only came here because I have work to do. I need you to keep Naruto-kun entertained."

"He is such a dirty liar," Queen Sakura said, smiling as she sipped on her rose tea and watched her older brother tend to his rose bushes. "Itachi hasn't told you how he really feels We take it."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked cluelessly as he took a bite of one of the tea sandwiches. "There's absolutely nothing goin' on between Itachi 'n' me."

"Nonsense! We can clearly see Our brother has feelings for you."

"Well, he sure fooled me."

"Believe Us, Naruto. We know the Hatter quite well. Why else would Itachi bring you to a garden of roses that he alone takes care of and allows no one but his sister to come near them? It's so obvious you don't need psychic powers to see."

_'Wow! She's dead serious isn't she? Does Itachi really like me like __**that**__?!'_

"Say Naruto, We'll give you a bit of advice. It is best if you mock and goad a guy like Itachi," the Queen of Hearts said conspiratorially. "We know all sorts of delicious ways to torment him too. We can teach you if you'd like."

"Heh heh, I guess I'll pass." Queen Sakura smiled then gave a jubilant laugh.

Upon hearing his sister's laughter, Itachi glanced over at his guests. _'Hn. Looks like they're getting along rather well,' _he thought before going back to weeding the flower beds.

"Naruto," the pink haired girl said, reaching across the bistro table and clasping the blond's hand. "You are most welcome in this garden whether you return Itachi's feelings or not."

"T-Thanks, Sakura," the boy stammered, shyly.

_'Huh? Why does my pocket feel so heavy all of a sudden?' _Naruto wondered, noticing that it felt like there was something heavy inside. Reaching in, he felt something that felt like glass or crystal and pulled it out. In his hand was a crystal vial with a heart shaped stopper. Inside the vial was a pale pink liquid that reached all the way to the stopper.

~TBC~

Hooboy! This was one intense chapter wasn't it? First a fight and now Ita and Sakura's big secret has finally been revealed. It looks like things are getting close to the end too. But the thing is, what will Naru do now?


	16. IMPORTANT NOTICE

I apologize for this A/N, but I have an important message to all my followers and readers. Please click on the link to my DA account in my profile to read it. This note will be taken down and replaced as soon as I have the next chapter available.


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